Anxiety issue

[BballJ]

Hi all,

I took abit of convincing myself to join the forums and write in here but just wanted some advice.

in the past two weeks, I have had anxiety spiralling out of control, I am unable to concentrate at work or at home, I continually think of the worst case scenario in anything, I wake up in the middle of the night having panic attacks (heart racing, in shaking, heavy breathing) I haven't slept more than 4 hours each night and during the day I am in a constant stressed state that by 2 pm I am tired as can be, I hate being alone, if I'm driving I feel the need to call someone just so I can get my mind off my anxiety and contanst worry feelings. I have lost my appetite, eating maybe one meal a day simply because I cannot eat. I have tried natural over the counter medicine to try and alleviate the anxiety and calm me down but they don't work.... Does this sound like GAD and should I see a doctor about medication?

thank you in advance for your replies.

Jay

[Guest_322]

Hi Jay,

Just noticed something...I'm not the self-appointed-resident-Captain-Nosy for no good reason...

CONGRATULATIONS on your Community Champion appointment!

🏆🌟🏆🌟🏆🌟🏆🌟🏆🌟🏆🌟🏆🌟🏆😊🏆🌟😊🏆🌟🏆🏆🌟🏆😊

Well done, you!

Dottie x

[CMF]

Congratulations Jay,

I was wondering how that was going. You deserve it so much.

cmf

[BballJ]

Hi CMF & Dottie 123,

Thank you very much, it means a lot to me, it really does.

My best for you both,

Jay

[Quercus]

Hi Jay,

I just saw your post on CMF's thread about you having problems at home and had to check on you.

Far out Jay 😢

Don't want to burden you with my issues however

No way in hell are you a burden. If you need help or to talk I am here for you and I'm sure others will be too.. Because we care. Never a burden my friend.

Hope you are taking care of yourself Jay.

❤ Nat

[CMF]

Jay,

i'm with Nat. You don't have to deal with this on your own.

please let us support you.

your friend

cmf x

[CMF]

Jay,

You've been on my mind all day. I really hope you are ok.

CMF

[BballJ]

Hi Quercus (Nat) & CMF,

I cannot lie I am a little taken back by your kindness, I am a little lost for words. I don't think I deserve all this attention but it is more appreciated then you can ever know.

Things at home are tough but I am trying and so is my wife, we agreed to counselling which is a huge step for me personally because I didn't want to be that couple who went to couples counselling but at the same time, it is just as important as counselling for mental health issues as well. Life is tough and I won't lie, every single day is a struggle of its own kind. I am trying extra extra hard to do the things my wife has asked of me to help improve her feelings in the relationship and will keep trying.

Once again, I thank you both for taking the time out of your day to check on me. It is very nice to come on here and read.

My best,

Jay

[CMF]

Oh Jay,

You are one of the most deserving people I know. You are here night after night following up on threads, checking in. When I look at 'new posts' I see your name pop up several times and I always know that you will get to mine and I look forward to it. I always check before I go to sleep.

'I don't think I deserve all this attention but it is more appreciated then you can ever know.' How about we change the word 'attention' to 'support'? I sense that you are someone who doesn't like attention, you rarely post on your own thread and you are very humble, but we do care and want to support you,just as you support others.

Nothing wrong with couple's counselling and no one has to know about it. It is personal, between you and your wife unless you choose to tell anyone. The important things is to be open about your feelings.

'I am trying extra extra hard to do the things my wife has asked of me to help improve her feelings in the relationship and will keep trying.' If you don't mind me asking, what about your feelings? It sounds as though you are trying to change to please your wife but it needs to work both ways. I hope you are also getting what you need from the relationship. We all need to compromise in relationships but we also need to be ourselves and individuals too with our own thoughts, opinions and eve habits. It is what makes us unique.

I hope you will keep posting here if you feel comfortable Jay. Remember it is support, not attention. We all want to give back to you what you give to us and I am at the top of that list.

cmf x

[CMF]

Just read thorough your whole thread again .

I wish I could wrap you up in cotton wool. I'm a little choked up 😥

[Quercus]

Hi Jay and CMF 😊

Well CMF said it all (well except for the fact that I would like to have words with your Mother grrr). Jay you are so patient and caring to everyone that you write to please let us give support to you in return.

Is there anything you want to talk about?Couples therapy is a great idea. No shame in wanting to make your marriage succeed. My friend and her husband had a break and counselling earlier this year and she said it really helped them learn to communicate with eachother better. The fact that you're both trying matters.

I think CMF has a good point about making changes. You should not be the only one making changes. The key word is compromise. You wrote before your wife feels you don't show her enough affection... Have you both ever done the love languages activity together? Hubby and I did as part of the pre marriage counselling at the church and it was facinating and helpful for us.

If you can find out what your wife's love language is it will help you to show her affection in the ways she feels loved and appreciated most. For example hubby's love language is acts of service. That is how he shows me love by doing things for me. But my love language is physical touch. So he can spend all day doing work to make my life easier but I won't feel as loved and valued and appreciated as if he just gave me a few hugs or held my hand. Do you see where I'm going? Find out HOW she wants to be shown love. You might be expressing it anyway but not in a way she notices.

In your thread Jay it is so clear you love her. But it's also clear you are a bit private and guarded (understandable given your story). Letting your partner in doesn't mean changing to suit them. It means you let them know more about how you feel little by little. Learning to trust. And practicing communicating. It is not going to happen overnight. It took me 5 years and the birth of two children to finally feel safe enough to truly let my husband in to know me. It is scary but worth it. Just keep trying Jay. And know we care and are here for you.

❤ Nat