Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

With your new tree I've found using a seaweed solution helps with transplant shock & just the general health of plants... especially if they aren't looking too good... I started using it after it was recommended on Gardening Australia on the ABC...

I haven't watched any Christmas movies for years... but I do remember enjoying Its a Wonderful Life... I like the old black & white classics... 

How wonderful you enjoyed the Christmas Party at work... I think nipping out the back to take a break whenever you felt you needed too was a great idea... much better than forcing yourself to stay out front & then ending up not enjoying it & making yourself unwell... it's nice that they do a Christmas Party for all the volunteers... I do like spring rolls, but would have to pass on the KFC... I've never liked their chicken... 

The weather here is all over the place... it didn't get over 13 deg all this week, with freezing wind straight off the south pole... but by early next week it's meant to be in the high 20s... I don't know what has happened to the mild spring days we used to get... it seems like we go straight from winter into summer these days... I hope it's been better out your way.

Hugs

Paws

[demonblaster]

Hey my gorjy besty of all 🤗👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💜 & to the beautiful friends here and readers 😊

Dear Grandy how are you going sweetly love, oh hope you don’t mind that I just wobbled in and plonked down on the couch, very comfy too sweetly. Hey that was an oops sitting or should I say flattening you…🤭 and there we have oops no: 6589,000. 
Not that I’m the type to blame the gorjy furs but when I knocked and no one answered I thought you may have popped off to the shops and when they rushed me for a cuddle and pretty excited they were to see Destiny and Eternity who on further thought they actually were rushing to see them 😵‍💫I naturally bent down to pat them and thought it’d be easier to sit down, yip you’re not the only one that needed the defibrillator when I heard the ear splitting cry of pain ‘twas a major shock. I got up so quickly I nearly left my skin behind. Btw how’s that terrible limp going. I booked an appt with the orthopaedic surgeon too but the good news is he said that sounds like a top priority so he’ll see you in 5 mins so best if you’re up to it of course if you don’t mind doing a rush job on vroom 🚲. 

Thought when we come back home we could have some serious quality time on the veranda, I’m loven the new seating. I know that was hard to change it but sounds like you had no choice darlin friend. 

I can’t tell you enough hun how much you’re in my thoughts. Seems a lot more lately. 

Been trying to think of an easier way to get those clothes out of the bin. Wondered if something could be in there to make the land spot a bit higher but doubt if that’s viable. For getting the trolley back in could a ramp be easier to get it over the steps?

I must beddybyes darl, coming down but ok atm mostly. Mild but very tiring as always episode. 

Nigh nite sweety. You’re the best Grandz. The deepest of love I so hope you’re ok precious lady. Sleep well all of you. 

Hi Croix Paws & of course Kitty 😊 bbl Croix 🖐

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🧚‍♀️💜🌈👀

[Ggrand]

Hello Paws, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and Everyone…..🤗..

Paws, I am certain my little tree has died…it’s all brown, really so very upset about it…maybe I should have left it in the pot….I have lost 2 lemon trees and a mandarin tree…everytime I I plant something it doesn’t live…My orange tree I planted 6 years ago produces about 3 oranges a year and hasn’t grown even 30cm, in all that time….yet my flowers do grow out front….

Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, I hope you’re okay, I do miss seeing you around the forums😢….Oh I really did leave some skin behind early Saturday morning….I tumbled over Pepper and really hurt my knee, my left knee, to avoid hitting my head on the corner of my kitchen bench, I put my arms out to protect me…silly me I grabbed the microwave, which slid and my upper arm caught the corner of my kitchen bench and slid alone that….I have a long bruise on my upper arm and a bruised knee that also has skin taken off it…..so physically I’m in pain😁…but okay non the less…it could have been much worse…thinking of you daily bbff…with much love, kindness and care..💙🌹🦋..wishing I could in r/l give you a warm friendly hug🤗🤗..and just sit and talk together…😢..

I did recommend they make a ramp as wide as the blue bin…not sure if they’ll take any notice though..

Not looking forward to Christmas…I need to keep my thoughts off all the christmases I’ve had to struggle through with late husband….hard to do, with all the media coverage of happy families enjoying Christmas together….I have looked on YouTube and there are some nice classic Christmas movies I’ll watch….I’m not cooking anything special, seems a waste of time to me….eating alone is no fun,  doing so through the year is bad enough…I haven’t had any visitors since May, when my support worker had to drop me from the program….my home is in need of a clean, I have enough cobwebs on my ceiling corners to make a cobweb jumper for winter😁…

I hope everyone is having a nice day…

Sending lots of hugs and love to you all..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

[demonblaster]

Hey darlin Grandy 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 And all you lovelies 🤗 including readers. 

Woah how uncanny was that mucking around when you really did leave some skin you poor darling. I sensed something to contact you. Thoughts have been stronger. Truth. Oh sweetyheart what pain you must be in. What’d be a big help.Is only having a couple more days then a good recoop break.

I’d so dearly love to be close by in rl to look after you my precious bbff.   nurse Deebi’s going to ring the fairy 🧚‍♀️brigade. They buzz around all over the shop although I’m a bit Dubeous if she can get the right place but hey sweetly I’ll be with you asap. We heal each other.

Good news you’ve been back in bed for a while too. What horrors you go through you Grandy. My heart truly goes out to you my beautiful 💜

Darl are you able to get some otc muscle pain relief I know it’s a fair way but from the sounds of that tumble geez it might be worth it you poor love, gentle 🤗
To avoid infection to your knee if u have anything or salty water to keep it clean where the skins off. Maybe keep it covered too lovey. 

Oh Grandy so so rapt you went to the party AND a garage sale too. Fantastic achieves darlin well done. Love u feeling good about it.

I’ve always admired how you keep working towards a better life and such hard things to do too. 

ok sweetyheart must choof 😴 very tired. Really do love you Grandz. I’ll bbs pwomish. Nigh night darlin/s 🎆🌈👀

Please try hard to rest as much as po lovey. 

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and everyone…..🤗.

Thank you for your post…

Today was my last day at work for 2 weeks…yay rest time…Don’t think I’m going to miss work very much😁…I’ll keep busy..a few months ago I bought a make your own teddy bear kit…I’ll give that a try after Christmas Day…my neighbour has insisted very strongly that I go to hers for Christmas lunch….I don’t want to because she is very intimidating and controlling….then with her conversations,  I just agree with what ever she says….if not she nags me until I do eventually….she has also invited her male separated neighbour from across the road…he doesn’t agree with her so there’s sure to be raised angry voices….I’m over it before I even go…some people make me feel inadequate and clumsy….unfortunately she is one of them.. 

My knee is getting less sore, still sore to touch but now I’m walking on it like normal…couple of weeks rest will mend it like new…

Awe 🤗, thank you Nurse 🧑‍⚕️ Deebi, I’m taking otc pain relief and as I am a strong believer that salt water is the best cleanser and infection fighting thing around…I am definitely using it…It was hard the first few days to have a shower…my home is older style with the shower over the bath…so I skipped having a shower for a few nights…..Not wanting to sleep right now so I’ll have a shower soon then pop myself into bed…sending you much care, love and everlasting elephant hugs bbff…🕊💙🐘🤗…

I am still caring for my little oak tree…I don’t want to give up on it..

Hope everyone has a good night tonight…

My love, hugs and care to you all…♥️🤗🦋..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy, wave to Deebi, LRC,

Ouch it sounds like you did a good job on your knee you poor thing... I'm glad to hear it is on the mend... how is your bruised arm going?...

I think we need to pinch some of the cotton wool we have in the cafe to make christmas decorations & wrap you up in it... or else get you the knee & elbow guards the kids use when they ride skateboards... 😁  Woofa has offered to give Pepper a talking too about getting under foot... but as he has tripped me over more than once, I told him to give himself that talk instead... 

One way to check if your oak tree has a chance of bouncing back is to use your finger nail & scrape off a small bit of the bark on the trunk part... if it's dry underneath then it won't come back... but if it is soft then it still has a chance. 

I know fruit trees can take years to fruit after planting.... but it's strange that your orange tree hasn't grown in all that time... especially as I'm sure you must be doing all the right things & keeping the water up to it... I wonder is the ground really hard at your place?... if it is then maybe the orange tree hasn't been able to push it's roots any further out than the hole you dug to plant it... that might be constricting it's growth... then again you might just be like me & jinxed when it comes to keeping trees alive.

Big hugs

Paws

[Ggrand]

Hello Paws, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and all..🤗

I am healing quickly, now the bruises look much worse then they feel…

My neighbour, has asked me over for Christmas lunch….I declined so she asked me again and again until I caved in and said okay..I remember last Christmas how drinking girl (who’s also coming) started yelling at me at the end of the lunch….I haven’t seen her since that day….This happens a lot with Mrs nsc…she knows if she keeps asking me eventually I’ll say yes….We are being told on social media that no means no…I think in her mind no means keep pushing and it changes to yes…

At least Christmas Day, my children do phone me up…The highlight of my day is talking to them…wish Christmas was everyday, that way I could talk to them daily, I am grateful that they are still in my life…could have been completely different if we didn’t talk and work through things that they went through…

I can’t not go…I think it’s hard for people to understand my situation with my neighbour…I have to live next door to her and need to keep on her good side, she can be very controlling and get very angry and loud when people don’t do as she wants them to do…especially with me and that triggers me….I think that a few hours of unpleasantness is worth having some peace….maybe I’m wrong…or a bit pathetic in my thinking…I just don’t know any other way around my situation…While living with a narcissist, you learn lots of ways to protect yourself now and for into the future, you also know the traits of a narcissistic person… I’m not judging Mrs. nsc at all, but she really has those narcissistic ways towards me….I go into robot mode and do what I need to do, to get by the best I can…I would much prefer to spend Christmas alone instead of over her home….

Paws, I dripped the hose all night onto my little tree, I really am hoping that it will help…everything has a life to live, ants, bees, all creatures and all plants…it really is sad that my little tree might not live to grow strong and tall….time will tell…if there was a tree Dr…I would be ringing them about now😁..

Hope everyone is having a beautiful day today..

Merry Christmas to all you beautiful and precious community friends…my love, best wishes, care and hugs to you all….🌲♥️🦋

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy…

[demonblaster]

Grandy I’m so pleased you’re starting to mend, I know you’re a tough cooky 🤗
I’d say there’s sound reason to believe in salty water they’ve used that for many yrs in hospitals. Heard of people bathing injured areas in the ocean

🤭 Pawsy always good seeing you. haha Woofas such a lovable fur by the sounds. The commentaries about him are classic. Hope you’re well, you too Mr Croixy man ‌🐬‌💭 about you all

Oh Grandz she’s been at you again eh. Well done for trying to say no. 
No I honestly don’t think that’s pathetic thinking, I see that as survival & smart hun. It wouldn’t be a good situation to be in poor soul 🤗

I remember that cow going off at you that time. Crikey what a mix of agro there.
I like that the bloke doesn’t agree with her although it wouldn’t be a good environment I realise but he’s by the sounds giving her another side to see not that it’s sounding effective. Tho she re invites him so she must like him at least a little

A couple of hrs or so hun and you hopefully can get back home and unwind. You’d probs get pretty mighty wound up there. Pfftt.
Glad your sons ring 🤗

I know how hard the showers in the bath are esp having your back pain troubles how’s that going btw and the risk of slippings high too. Go slowly hun which you probs do

😅 loven the 🐘 elephant cuddles, my but you have quite a strong grip there, hang on I’ll just move those pointy tusks out of my ribs.
Elephants are quite popular, amazing creatures aren’t they.

Better choof to 😴 land. Very tired and have to finish a 🧑‍🎄🎁 for my precious bbff 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 Who I 💜 with all my ❤️. I think it’ll land 🚁 probs tomorrow arvo hun going to need that time to unwrap the ideas from my head and pop them into virtual. Might work out well to have something nice after your visit. Oh Grandz remember we’re with you in spirit Huns. 

Always deep love Huns 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌈💜🤗🎁👀☺️

Happy days everyone you’re beautiful people 💗

[demonblaster]

Hi there my dear Grandy 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and all our lovely friends here and reading 😊

Merry Xmas all you beautiful people 🤗👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 Grandy I’m so sorry I have your prezzy only half done and still in my head that’s pretty scattered atm. I will be and that I pwomish getting that to you asap and of course I can’t blame the reindeers getting a flat hoof or any of the pixies 🧚‍♀️ Bending a wing that made us go in circles. Sigh hard to get good help these days don’t ya think. 

I’ve been more than usual thinking about you that’s a mighty lot my precious about how it was at Mrs nsc geez it must be hard being around her. You’re a good probs the best friend she’s ever had darlin. Hope it wasn’t too bad and that, that lady didn’t go off again!

Hoping your poor bods still on the mend darlin. I worry about people living alone with that happening. 

btw great input from Pawsy about the tree that I know you’re upset about I was going to say as you’re doing not to give up, nature can be very resilient. Sending  hope and wishes for it to recover. 

ok my gorjy/s my darlings helped with some preps for tea getting water boiling and the fry pan out oven on etc so we’re all having a lovely meal tonight which won’t turn up unless I make it happen 🤭

Always deep everlasting love and care and to you other lovelies really hoping you’re having a good day 😊 youse mean the world all of you 🤗🎆 pweddy 

take care 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🤗🌈👀🧚‍♀️🌞💭🧑‍🎄

Dear Grandz love I’m sorry I meant to say how happy I was that you got the self make Teddy bear just loven that you’re going to do that and that’d be some sewing too. Nice one. Think I’ve told you I’m keen to learn sewing tho got the flick from two sewing jobs when I was an early teen 😂 more so I was just young and not settled into a groove, wasn’t fazed but first 3 jobs I got the sack by then was feeling a bit uh oh but improved mostly from there. 
One day if we ever meet hun I want you to teach me. I was good at hemming so there’s a start. As you say at least we have here but hope keeps us going eh.

dah posted all over the shop bit like my head atm soz 😂

[Paw Prints]

Merry Christmas Grandy,

I hope lunch wasn't too bad... I agree with Deebi... you have to live next door to her... do whatever it takes to make things easier for you... 

I had a lovely arvo... the neighbour has put a small herd of pregnant hereford cows in the paddock next to me... some of them have had their calves so I spent a fair bit of this arvo on the couch watching them whenever they wandered into view up the top end of the paddock... 

Big Christmassy hugs

Paws