Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Paw Prints]

Dear Grandy

Take as much time as you need lass.  Remember your friends here are with you always.

Gentlest of hugs

Paws

[demonblaster]

Hey sweetyheart 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 Pawsy and everyone reading 🖐

Ahh hun not good you’re struggling but as much as it’s always SO good seeing you it sounds like you’re doing some good self care.

I’ll be 👀 and see you when hopefully you’re feeling much better.

When it’s really hard I’ve not much choice but to remember the past times and get a little comfort knowing I’ve come through then, can and will again. Same goes for you darlin friend 🤗🧚‍♀️

Sending you oodles of love comfort and warmth 4 evs my/our Grandy 🌈🌸🌈🦋🌈💭🌈🍫

PubAok YAdimh 🦋👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🦄 nigh nite darlin 😴 rest up and don’t forget to breathe…a lot 🙂

[mmMekitty]

Big gentlest of hugzies, Grandy. 🤗🦄

mmMekitty

PS DB, great to see your beautiful smiley face again! 😹

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Grandy,

Thinking of you and sending you kindness and gentle support. You are such a beautiful soul and we are always here for you. I know things can get a bit much sometimes and there can be a need to take a break.

Take good care and sending you a gentle hug 🤗 

[Fiatlux]

Hi everyone,

I sure hope Grandy is ok. Actually I hope that you are all okay.

With regards to Boundaries, I am going to be cautious about sharing things that may cause grief or concern for others. I sometimes over share without considering the reader.

Fiatlux 🙏🏼🫶❤️

[Paw Prints]

Hello Fiatlux,

If you start your own thread with a title & first post that gives the reader an idea about the sort of things you will be talking about, that will allow people to choose to read what you share or not.  I know some people here have put "trigger warning" next to their thread title, just to give others a heads up that some may find it a difficult read.  

I hope that will make you feel more comfortable about what you post.

Hugs

Paws

[Ggrand]

Hello Paws, Deebi👩‍❤️‍👩, mmMeKitty, Eagle Ray, Fiatlux and everyone…🤗..

I’m really sorry I didn’t reply to your caring posts, which I’m so grateful for and touched my heart greatly…

I wasn’t really doing well mentally after a few things triggered me….and put me in a dark place full of memories and unhealthy thoughts….I needed help, I rang my Dr, but no appointment is available until July…..Trying to sort myself out on my own is so hard, but I’m making some progress, enough to pop in here and give you all a very warm thank you hug…Life can be so hard at times…

The other lady I worked with who had cancer  passed away 2 after days after she graced us with herself for a beautiful get together at work on a Saturday a few weeks ago…we only found out a couple of weeks ago…I was ringing her and she wasn’t answering….I didn’t know😢….she was found a few days after her passing by her cleaner…poor sweet lady she was a very gentle and caring person….

I was contacted by the bigger hospital, that my shoulder surgery is only 6 weeks away….a bit afraid of being put under…never have been before…then again I need this pain on just about any movement I make to go away….bit of a concern is, they said surgery is for right shoulder…I have about 80% movement without the strong pain on my right shoulder, my left shoulder is only about 20% movement before strong pain stops me…I hope I can get that sorted out soon…

Wishing everyone a beautiful day today..

Sending my love, hugs and care to you all.

👩‍❤️‍👩Grandy..

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

I'm glad you had that get together with your friend before she passed.  That would have been something very special for her & yourself.  It must be comforting to know she would have felt loved & cared for after it.

Don't worry about being put under, I have had it done quite a few times & it isn't scary at all.  I hope you get the mix up about which shoulder sorted out quickly as that would be a worry you don't need.

Remember you can talk to the lovely folk on the BB helpline while you wait for your Dr's appointment, or pop in here & chat with us.  

I must ask, have you worked out the mysteries of operating your new washing machine?  I dread the day my machine stops working as it is a very simple turn the nobs type & I don't look forward to trying to use one of those newer type machines.

Big 🐻 hug

Paws

[Fiatlux]

Hi Grandy,

Lovely to hear from you.

I’m so glad that you are feeling better and I am so grateful that you started this conversation so many years ago.

When I was living alone I would have dark thoughts about being so alone, that I thought that nobody would even notice for several days, especially during our COVID lockdowns and isolation if I just passed away. It was then that I decided that I had better make an effort to stay in touch with my children at least every couple of days.

I hope that your surgery goes well and remember that if they offer you home help, please accept it. My late father in law had a couple of shoulder surgeries and showering and dressing was not easy. So help promise that you will ask for assistance with everything that they have on offer. 

Thank you for your kindness and support through BB. Fiatlux 🙏🏼

[demonblaster]

Hi there our beautiful Grandy 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and other lovely friends 🖐

Soo good hearing from you sweetyheart. 

Wow quite a bit going on in your neck of the woods 🤗

I too am so glad you had some quality time with that beautiful friend.

Very sad that news. The poor lady. Be at peace dear soul 🕊️

Im so glad you both knew each other Grandy love.
Never easy is it 💗

Darlin that’s great news that the first surgery isn’t far off at all. Finally some light at the end of the tunnel. 
Yes very good advice to accept any help they offer hun. I know that might be hard for you but for the better towards recovery darlin. 
I wonder if they want to do the R) one first so it can be healed and ready to take the load off the L) for when that’s done in case the R) gets worse along the way.
No idea but certainly would be worth querying because aggravating the R) isn’t an option either aye taking on the extra load. You poor girl going through so much 🥹💜

It’s rough isn’t it when you desperately need to see a doctor and the extreme waiting times seem to how it is in several areas these days. 
They say to ring early as po this way in case of cancellations which maybe same for you there. 

Grandy when & if you’re ready darlin we’re here for you. 
Well done posting and thank you for that too it’s good knowing you’ve managed to get through at least some of your pain. Yes life really can be so hard at times. 
I feel for you at any time but esp with the passing of your dear friend on top. Seems to dump a lot of hard times at once doesn’t it. 
You’re proof that we can get through …eventually. Keep going Grandz 💪 you’re doing really well. 

You know I love you very much darling friend. PuAbok YAdimh good sweet lady 🌈💭☀️💭🍫💭👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💭🦋💭

Best to everyone too 🌸

Kitty thanks lovely soz meant to say before for saying good to see the avatar back. Hi as well 🙂🤗