Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Croix]

Dear Grandy~

The idea of just doing the till and tidying up may work out - provided you do not get tempted to 'just help out' wiht a few other things. Letting others work while you stay still can be hard. Hopefully it will not come to a choice between work or wellbeing.

It sounds a pretty exciting move to be a part of the conference side. With your experience in the shop - and your life experience too - you can make a valuable contribution.

Can your orthopedic surgeon give the injections or do you have to make special arrangements?  It's a good thing otc meds do help in the meantime.

Pity about the hair and dressing, however you have the wonderful capacity to gather friends, so any that see you will see the real you, not the hairdo (or "hairdon't" as the case may be:)

Croix

[demonblaster]

Hi dear Grandy Croixy Kitty Quirky Pawsy and everyone 🙂

Sweety I'm hoping you'll get this, it's the closest to the last post I can get. Until I log in I can use the page no's but then it's an age to get anywhere close because it turns into load more replies that takes an absolute age. 
I might be able to get this put to your last post with any luck. 

Pfft that they finally decide to seem to start looking after you and esp as you'd so long ago asked them for an easier way of getting those heavy bags out of the bin. 
They're lucky you're a volunteer and don't have to pay any compo. It's wrong how they've handled this whole deal! 

Darl wondering if when you start with welfare if you might be interested in staying for even one day a week there. Of course physically you can't risk more damage but it's a worry if your MH will decline. That way you'd still be a part of where you've been for so long and starting to get a rapport with some of the customers. Love hearing that. 

Thank goodness you're getting some relief from OTC. Wow why on earth they haven't given you stronger is beyond me. Cruel really. 

I feel happy for you that the 7th isn't far off now, wow time moves fast doesn't it but I imagine not nearly fast enough. It's been a long painful haul but some light seems not too far off. You poor love going through so much and it sads me being alone adds to so much stress. Soon you'll have your full independence sweety all going well and they certainly have a lot of knowledge and ways these days to fix. 

Always have loved our fun times with past present friends here on your balcony watching the stars and just having lovely people time. Virtual is our 2nd closest to real but still pretty good eh hun. 
It really does sound lovely and you have your nice assuming comfy chair free of the furs wanting to be part of it all lol how gorgeous they sound. 

Grandy I dearly hope your MH is at the least controllable now with the pain being less to what it was not that any is easy at all to live with. 

You might have heard of Strength to strength by uh oh...mind block...Yip Sarah Henderson, great reading, well you over the time we've known you do the same. It's amazing what we have tucked away inside to help us get back up.

Always thoughts and love dear friend 👩‍❤️‍👩 struth hope that emoji doesn't show as big as it is atm lol it's humungus 

Same thoughts and care very much about others here too 🙂 tc (take care) 

[demonblaster]

Hey lovely ones 😊

And of course our dear friend Grandy 🤗 well lovey tomorrows nearly here already.
Just dropping in via carrier pigeon dragon = 🐉 as pathetic as that looks, more like an ink splot but amongst the emojis it did look impressive I will say. 

So Deendys dropping off untold loads of Love care and good wishes that everything is very positive for tomorrow and hoping like crazy the next batch of needles are sooner than later. 

Hope Saturday work was good too lovey and that you were able to not have anything hard to add stress to your poor bod huns.

Always wanting the best possible outcomes for you sweet Grandy 🤗👩‍❤️‍👩💜 lots of love always precious lady 👀💫🕊🌱

Go easy everyone 🌴

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Quirky, Croix, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩  and everyone….🤗.

Thank you for kind and caring posts..

You’re so right Croix, I tried hard not to participate and help the team of workers, but watching them made me feel useless, so I did help them to the best of my ability… it’s just impossible for me to not help them…I didn’t do any pulling or pushing of the heavy clothes bin…my arms don’t have the strength to do much of anything right now…

My visit yesterday to my Orthopaedic Surgeon resulted in me waiting now for another round of cortisone injections…possibly in 3 weeks time…I also was told in some detail of what will take place when I do get my operation….because no amount of cortisone will fix my damaged shoulders…..Yesterday I filled out my admission papers for my surgery…now it’s just waiting now  for when my surgery can be done….I will need to stay in hospital for 2-3 days after surgery…unfortunately only one shoulder at a time, he told me next time he will see me is when he will preform the surgery….hopefully that won’t be that long away…I am so restricted in everything I do…picking up something off the floor is near impossible…my body is so out of alignment with my shoulders, that everything hurts…..my house needs a good clean…I am thinking that maybe even a gurney (a water pressure gun) right through it…then a hot sunny day to dry it….would be a great start😂😂😂..

Quirky, I think every store that does welfare has a conference section…They are the ones to give give food vouchers, groceries, meat, accommodation and clothes to those that a in dire need of help….I’m looking forward to starting on that side of Vinnies…

Today is a perfect day here, rain falling gentle outside…not really that cold…a great day to light my candles, snuggle under my blanket while I’m sitting outside watching the rain…then after lunch, I think I might do a DVD marathon of “Little House on the Prairie”.  

I hope everyone has a nice day, no matter what the weather is today…Sending you all my love, ❤️care 🦋and appreciation 🙏….for your friendship, kindness and care, you show me and others here on these forums….your all beautiful people…I feel slack I haven’t been to your threads…writing is hard at the moment as I fight through the movement of the arms to do so….😢..

Hi bbff….sorry, I haven’t been to your thread…Like I said I would…I really do hope your doing okay…Much love to you my precious friend..💕🤗🌼🐘💎…

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy…

[demonblaster]

Hey Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and everyone ‌😊

It's always good seeing you. Darlin amidst the awful ongoing pain & restrictions you not only have good ahead which is sounding pretty soon, you're looking forward to the welfare side which power to you is through your doing. Grandy 1 beasty 0...oh dear how sad
SO happy for you Mrs Grandzy love ‌‌🤗 -hug

By acknowledging & appreciating things that have/give us pleasure makes room for cracks of light through darkness.
You do that and it does make a difference doesn't it. I think we need to reinforce all the time any good memories.

It sounds lovely watching the rain and nature doing it's thing. Birdies just keep on going no matter what conditions are thrown at them don't they...just like you our girl 💪 ‌‌-strength
 

It's a buzz hearing you're looking forward to the welfare side of Vinnies darl. It sounds like a relief from I assume if not the, a strong contributing cause of your immense pain.

Grandy you have such a kind heart wanting to help people like you do it's a credit to you hun. Chances are you don't see that lovey..but we do. Gentle suggest if even just a small pat on the back is a good start to liking yourself. If you saw yourself from our eyes you would.

Amidst the cruel pain you're experiencing there's a lightness in your step dear Grandy which is so good to see.
You truly deserve to have good things going on too which is a boom to keeping beastybrat at bay.
Keep going darlin like you are, by not giving up we gain the power.. not IT! We got this!

That's ok lovey re mine truth. I'll get back there sometime it's just on my long increasing list of "to do's" . Starting to do some bits here and there but mostly stuff gets done or started at least in Mania. YUMMO love love

Ok my lovely lets see if I can land this at yours.

Biggly love 4evs dear friend. Oh Destiny and Eternity asked me to send you some cuddles too.

🍫💫💜💦🌞

[demonblaster]

Hi there sweet Grandy and all other lovelies out there 🙂

Darlin always thinking of you which is an absolute truth so just wanted to pop by and see how you're going.
I check here quite often but since we haven't spoken for a bit thought it was time we had a nice frappe and a good dose of balcony and stars precious friend. 

I dearly hope your pain is at the very least manageable and not as bad as it has been. Wow it's exhausting both mentally and physically esp when sleeps interrupted isn't it. 

So hopefully the next lot of injections are closer now, knowing that gives some serious relief must be quite uplifting. 

It's a gorgeous sunny morning here, usually is this way, we're having a lovely dew on the grass in the mornings and the other early one (too early mind you) there was a touch of fog it looked incredible with the dew on the grass at the park. Something so peaceful about fog and dew and usually a lovely day to follow. 

So just had a thought to give you some yum marshmallows, no idea what made that come to mind but it sounds nice doesn't it. 
Maybe we could build a nice relaxing camp fire and melt some on a stick, knowing me I'd catch the stick alight and end up with a blob of marshmallow dripping off it. I've not had them like that but heard they're really nice. 

I'm losing some weight which is great tho of course still eating my lovely choccy but in less amounts. Need to for the hip op and really need to get into the exercises more. The bike seems but we have not long but fairly regular walks to the shops that are close by. 

Grandy I was wondering if knitting you might enjoy, I know how cold it gets there brrr by the sounds. Maybe a blanky could be a go keeping you warm in the process. You know I'd do one but it'd be too quick and because of that I drop a few stitches here and there oopsy. Knitting they say is a calming head space activity which is pretty cool I reckon and can see why it would be. 

Ok my dear lady I truly hope you're doing well sweety. 
You know how much I love and care so much about you. Want you to know happiness my girl. 
PubAok Grandy. 
We got this no matter what beasty tells us. 

Sending hugs smiles and sunshine your way with the multitude of thoughts 🤗😃💫🗯👩‍❤️‍👩💜

Good people I hope and wish for you all too that better days come 😊

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and everyone….🤗,

So sorry I haven’t replied on here that much….Thank you for your support dear Deebi and everyone…

I spent Friday in hospital, on Thursday morning I physically could not walk, my knees were to sore to stand on and bend…I waited for a day to see if they would get better, but didn’t so I needed an ambulance to take me in…I had a couple of Morphine injections to ease the pain, plus some physio…once I was able to walk again I was allowed back home…I am in disbelief that my shoulders are causing so many problems with my body…I start physio twice a week on Tuesdays and Thursdays, the physiotherapist said he will do both my shoulders and knees to at least strengthen them…

I have stopped working indefinitely.…it’s so hard to do the things I’m required to do, so better I stay away…I am sad I’m now not working…

Deebi, yes I did enjoy knitting but unable to do so right now, I went into a depressive episode about 2 weeks ago and threw most of my crafting things away…wool, knitting/croteching needles, paints, brushes, paper, blingy stuff and materials…I don’t think I will ever be able to do those things again…I kept my sewing machine though…too heavy for me to lift..

I just want my shoulders/arms/legs to work how they should work…back again..

July 6th is my next cortisone injections and my last…then I need to wait until surgery, which could be 2 weeks away or 2 years away…the Orthopaedic surgeon has to fly in from a major Sydney hospital…there are none employed in the hospital I’ll be going into….Rural hospitals are so under staffed….

I am at home now, trying to get myself up each day and move around the best I can,  doing a bit of cleaning when I can…I have been using my clothes dryer now for over 5 months because I can’t physically hang my clothes…not looking forward to my next electrical bill…

Wow how quickly life can change for us…nothing in our life is promised..

My love, hugs and care everyone..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy…

[Paw Prints]

Hello Dear Grandy,

I'm so relieved you called an ambulance rather than trying to wait it out, especially as I know you really struggle with being in hospital & away from home. 

I hope the physio helps to ease the pain a bit at least. Can the hospital help you to get support workers to help about the home, shopping, driving you places etc? Yes keeping moving is important but I worry about how you can manage without help from either support workers or perhaps Betty or Mrs nsc.

Please don't feel you need reply to my questions, I understand typing much is so very hard for you. 

Sending you the gentlest of hugs

Paws

[Croix]

Dear Grandy~

You are right, life can change quickly, and while at the moment that seems all downside you equally can't be sure things might not improve. The pain relief in the hospital helped and maybe stronger meds at home rather than just at hospital might be something to discuss with your doctor if you have not already done so. I'm on quite strong pain relief and it certainly is liberating.

Please don't let the physio talk you into exercises that leave you in prolonged pain. I fell into that trap and ceased with that one and went with another gentler one who has done a lot of good.

The shoulder injections too may help, I think you said the last time it did a bit, after that I"ll have to keep flippers crossed the specialist comes soon.

While I can understand the frustration that made you chuck out craft material it may be it will give you time to think of other things you can do instead that do not make your shoulders worse.

I"m glad you are home, if the ambulances in your area are like mine you roll around in the back, most uncomfortable. Pity about the work, can you still do something on the committee side you were talking about before?

Croix

[demonblaster]

Hi there our beautiful Grandy ‌‌👩‍❤️‍👩 & all 

Oh darls what a time your having hun. Full on eh lovey 🤗
That would've no doubt been very frightening not being able to walk, crikey you wouldn't think shoulders can have an effect on your legs eh. I think good you're not taking that as definite, maybe ask them when you get the next injections. Good that's not too far away thank goods.

You poor love feeling that you need to throw stuff away. Our dear friend Mr Croixy has a good point as always mentioning there might be something else you could do. 
Apologies lovey I wasn't thinking about your poor shoulders how hard it'd be to knit. 
They work priority with health. I dearly hope it won't be too long knowing how it's impacting your life so severely. 

Darlin we get a lot of pleasure from fantasy, I wonder if you might like to make them up in your mind without the need to type. 
Also on the life chanell Mr 😍 ‌ & I really enjoy is the house renovations restoring etc, they pretty much dominate that chanell and are great watching.

I really am sorry you're atm not able to work. You've made such incredible progress there. Yes I think too something to look forward to is the other side of Vinnies in the future. SO proud of you. 

I too Mr Croixy have had some painful physio in the past. I say now to please go easy when I need it which they do. That could make a dent in the recovery stage as well as possibly some more freedom in movement lovey. 
A good sign I'd think that they're getting you onto that now. I'm hoping that's an indication they're going to be doing it all sooner than later.

Grandy we have a couple of clothes racks you can drape stuff on & don't necessarily need pegs. They're cheap and could save some dryer costs. 

Really darlin I'm so sorry how things are rolling atm I know it's taking it's toll on your mh.
Please hold on like you are darl and remember this is a temporary situation. Beasty runs out of oomph esp when we've had enough sleep.
Always remember you ARE strong enough to get through although we don't feel it at the time for sure.

You're so loved and appreciated dear friend to many Grandy. Rest up lovey.
4evs your loving besty 🗯💫💜