Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Hanna and everyone...🤗..

Thank you Deebi and Hanna for popping in..

Love the sound of the roast lamb and vegetables...then a beautiful walk after..the perfect day...

The long appointment went okay...was a bit upset with my supporter just walking in with me without asking me...

My Dr. is a very caring one and I’m so lucky to have her... she explains things to me so I understand....and also for me not getting to far down again before I reach out to her...and she asked me to promise that I won’t...so I did... she also wants me to return to counselling and my Dr has arranged for the VS counselling to start again..next appointment is 5th May...The Same day you move Deebi😁...Twinny sisters 👭bbff..💚..

I sat outside this afternoon and was watching the cows munching on the grass when one cow looked very strange..it had 2 tails moving in different directions..It looked funny and I was watching it for some time, thinking I never before saw a cow or any animal with 2 tails....Still watching it it moved forward and it’s body got longer, that’s when I realised that it was 2 cows, standing in a way it looked like one cow with 2 tails 😂😂..silly me...

Its cold here tonight Hanna...-2 degrees...probably the same where your living....please try to stay warm...I am pleased Sam had a bit of pampering today...Town O has beautiful trees lining the roads if I remember and the colours would be lovely to see...I like how the leaves fall on the ground...Something magical about the way it looks when that happens..

The colder the night, the more stars that seem to shine and tonight they are brilliant...wish you all could see them..

Big love dearest bbff with caring 💭 24/7..pubaok and please take it easy while your packing..💚🌱🕊🦄👼🦋🐘.

love and hugs Hanna, and everyone 💜🤗🦋..and too all the gorgeous fur children out their as well..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🌜🕊🌱🌛..

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

I had a chuckle at your cow with two tails... they are good at hiding behind each other aren't they... Woofa & I are missing the neighbours cows... it seems like forever since they were in the paddock next to me... I miss their antics.

I love the sound of your doctor... I wish I had a doctor like that here... I'm so pleased you promised to talk to her if you find yourself getting low... especially because I think like me, you don't make promises lightly...

Wow -2 that's cold... I have lots of cloud cover so the nights here aren't dropping that low... you must be getting up to a hard frost each morning... how do your furs cope with frosty ground?

How are you going with the routine the hospital gave you?... have you tried cooking any of the meals they planned?... I was thinking if you are finding it hard to be motivated to cook them just for yourself.... then perhaps you could think of cooking & trying them so that if they are simple & nice you could then share them on the recipe thread... it might just give you that little extra oomph to start cooking for yourself.

Stay warm... hugs for you & belly rubs for Kya & Ebony

Paws

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Paws, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Hanna and everyone...🤗.

Paws..sorry to say that I haven’t cooked any of the meals from the meal plan...It felt okay cooking them their, but not here...There were a few of us cooking and it was easier that way..Idk...not really interested in food...

I am keeping up...well trying to keep in the sleep routine, am most nights, but some nights I don’t want to sleep and even though I’ve taken the meds properly...it’s just too hard to make me want to sleep...

Your right Paws....I only make a promise if I mean it...and I’ll do my very best to keep it...

So much sadness today..Mrs nsc ...I heard her crying early this morning and went over to see what happened...Her little fur baby passed away..he had cancer...We knew it would be soon, just not expecting this morning....little Danny was wrapped in his favourite blanket I picked him up and gave him a big long hug for the last time....Then while Mrs..nsc...was nursing and hugging him I sat next to her...I stayed at hers all day today.... We buried him mid afternoon next to an apple tree....I have never buried anyone’s nor any of my pets before...shovelling the dirt back in was so heartbreaking...I really wished someone else was there for her today...My heart cannot take anymore sadness...first Betty’s sister last week now this today....

I am going to make a cuppa tea and go to bed...emotionally tired right now...

I hope everyone is doing okay today...

Bbff....Special SSS love and hugs...pubaok..yadimh ..💚🧸🤗🦄👼..

Love and hugs to everyone..💜🤗🕊🌱🌹..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...

[Hanna3]

Hi Grandy, I'm only here briefly very late but I am so sorry to hear about the little dog... how upsetting for your neighbour and for you - losing a loved pet is heartbreaking.. and having to bury it... how distressing for both of you. I am so sorry. Sending you big, warm hugs, and I hope you have a cuppa and go to bed... and get some rest ... you did the right thing staying with your friend and helping her through this... but it must have been very, very hard. Warmest big hugs from little Sam and me to you oxoxoxoxoxoxo

[demonblaster]

Dear bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 hi everyone ☺

Wowsie those temps get so cold. Yikes I better get my hockey sticks 🏑🏒 out and knit a pants and top set including a beanie lovely one. I put dear Mr Deebis hat on at night that you knitted him (sheet) it fits well 😀

Shame you're not particularly into food atm hun. Maybe to start do you think just on occasions cook up. It can help fill time too you dear love.

How sad mrs nsc and her being so upset it would be hard being around. No darlin you've had a lot of deep sadness lately you certainly don't need any more. You're such a caring good soul being there for people you dear love.

I hope tonight you have a better easy sleep precious.

Sending love light and peace beautiful...just breathe in nice and deep thinking about a twinkling star dear sss and when the star dust reaches your room ...in nice and deep ...feeling how relaxed you become and then slowly breathe out dear friend.

Leaving a gorgeous multi coloured butterfly that'll keep watch over you and glide only goodness into your dreams and thoughts.

You're a beautiful loving soul dear Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀🦄🤝😚🏑so much love 🤗

Nigh nite sweetyheart 💜

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

Here is a very gentle hug lass... you are a gorgeous soul staying with Mrs nsc after her loss & being there for her helping with the burial... it is such a difficult thing to do... I'm so sorry you have had to deal with so much sadness recently... lass please ring someone if you find it is making things harder for you...

I hope you manage some restful sleep tonight... with dreams of dragons playing tag in the air....

Love & hugs

Paws

[Tess2]

Dear Grandy,

what a supportive and caring thing to do for Mrs nsc. The loss of a loved pet is really sad and you have identified with her and helped. That is really a strong thing to do. And on top of hearing about your friend’s sister.

how are you in yourself? I have been thinking of you and sending you my love

tess

[Ggrand]

Hello Hanna, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Paws, Tess and everyone....🤗.

Thank you all very much for caring about little Danny..He was in a lot of pain and now he is resting in Gods Rainbow Bridge Heaven...

I am thinking on going to my volunteer job tomorrow it’s only 4 hours plus I need to shop as well..so I will give it a go..This will be my first out on my own in over 2 months...

Mrs nsc still has 2 dogs and the bigger one a Husky has dug a huge hole under the side front fence...I was filling it in today when Mrs. nsc asked if I can leave it so our dogs can play with each other if they want to....I don’t know if I like that idea, but I will leave it and see what happens..Betty will be their to keep talking to me if I need her too...

Not being doing much...sitting outside a bit today..Today was beautiful and warm...Supporter made a quick visit as she was passing through the town’s here, we had a coffe and a chat for half an hour before she had to get back to the office...

I made a nice vegetable stir fry tonight...Put too much chilli in it, then had an ice cream straight a way 😂 after to cool my mouth off...so much for healthy eating...

Hoping everyone is feeling better then yesterday and enjoyed their day today...

Deebi..please be careful with your back, and especially your hernia...very much love to you bbff..and gentle baby bear hugs..💚🦋🦄🧸🤗..

My love and hugs to everyone..💜🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

[Hanna3]

Hi Grandy,

Today was a lovely sunny day wasn't it - we didn't have that cold wind blowing! Little Sam and I were a bit lonely but we went and had lunch sitting on a hill top looking out over the mountains, it was pretty and very peaceful, Sam was enjoying it - just the wind in the trees and the birds. The traffic in this town has been so busy and the shops are frantic. I am sorting out my winter clothes - I got two nice tops for winter at one of the op shops in Town with O last week thank goodness.

I hope you enjoy going back to the store, I think that's a good idea having something to get out to once a week. I'm glad your supporter came and had a cuppa with you for a while. I hope you are recovering from yesterday, the poor dog and the owner...

Take care and best wishes for tomorrow, so glad you are going. Little Sam would send you cuddles but he's already fast asleep next to me on the couch!!! oxoxo

[demonblaster]

Heya beeutiful bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 hi everyone ☺

So good hearing you're going to go to work tomoz. Good girl I'm so proud of you. You impress me often dear lady. And shopping too you little ripper. Good on you sweets.

Oops... loven your stirfry wow 😨... 🎵the heat is on 🎼...😲...and breathe out 😂...you're a classic hun love ya to bits. Good cooking darl you're charging

Hoping the dogs play well together, I was wondering how the big ones going. I get you being wary.

Nice hearing you had some time outside.

Thanks sweetyheart yip its the hernia area thats causing so much grief. Being very careful.

Huge lasting love dear darling friend. You're one of a kind sweet loving soul 🕊👩‍❤️‍👩💜🤗💗💚😚😲