Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[monkey_magic]

Hi Grandy,

I have read back quite a bit for a catch up.

I have had the exact same thoughts about the procedure of the mental health services.

I'm an independent person and self-healer so I completely relate when you say you want to be left alone to get through things and I also feel that they're unwarranted and unwelcomed imposing on your life for example finding out if you were at work or not is really none of their business.

I'm confident you needed some time out to heal which is ok.

I also agree that pills aren't always the answer and there are other ways.

I do things my way in life and for mental health to impose their systematic regulations on me wasn't right and from your open communication I feel you have your own answers and solutions too despite their imposition on your healing and life.

I'm with you Grandy in spirit. I've spent a lot of time inside those places to know what they are all about.

Keep doing you and stay safe gorgeous.

Sorry they're rules dragged you back...

You deserve more. Just like I did.

💕

[Ggrand]

Hello Croix, Tess, Hanna, Magic, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, and everyone..🤗

Thank you all so much for your inspiring and very caring posts..they mean more to me then you will ever know...after all your all my BB is a part of my life and so are you all.....

I saw my Psychiatrist today and told him I really need to go home...He said as long as I do all the follow up appointments that I could go home...of course I agreed to that....So I am being discharged today...as soon as my support worker can pick me up and I fill in loads of paperwork I can leave here....My Psychiatrist told me I’m welcome back if I need help again...those few words helped me to know that there is help available out there if I need it..

I am a bit scared of going home and facing the world again, I know I can do it....I have my 2 gorgeous fur babies and all of you...

Magic...yes I don’t think they had a right to check up on my volunteer work...I hadn’t been out of my house really for over a month...it’s my way of coping..but my fridge was empty, I was pushing my fur babies away from me...not going to Drs appointments and the SI was very strong....I wouldn’t open the door to anyone until a threat of police intervention was made....Even though I don’t agree with their methods..I am in a way pleased that I was admitted and cared for....I really don’t like hospitals but am now pleased with myself that I “volunteered” myself into the one I was in before...

My carer is taking me shopping before I get home...I have made a list with the help of a peer worker and also have a meal plan for the next 2 weeks...simple meals that I’m sure I can manage....

Hoping next time I talk to you all I will be back home..

Thank you all again for your continued care and support...you are all honesty amazing people...who I am honoured to call my friends..

Love and hugs to everyone....

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

Oh lass... I'm so happy for you that the Psych thinks you are well enough to go home... of course you are feeling nervous about going home... I remember how strange it felt the last time I came home from the psych hospital... once you have your own things about you & your furs giving you cuddles & a bit of time to settle that feeling will go away. Remember you have done this before & everyone here will be with you in spirit...

Lass you should be very proud of yourself... you were in a bad patch before you went in... to be able to go home after such a short stay shows how hard you worked towards being in a better place... you did that... the hospital just gave you a safe place & the support you needed to help yourself.

Sending you squishy bear hugs

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hello Grandy!

That is good news! I hope by the time you are reading this you are safely and snuggly at home with your fur babies and a stocked up refrigerator! How nice to have the evening at home in your own place and out of the hospital, hooray!

I am glad they took care of you and that you are well enough to go home again ... Grandy what is happening about your job at the store, will you go back do you think, or do you need some time alone at home to adjust.. anyway whatever I am so pleased for you!

Little Sam had a lovely morning walk by the river but it's turned cold and windy now so we are being lazy and staying indoors... tomorrow I take him to the vet about his teeth, I am worried what I will hear as I don't know how i will pay for treatment....but i can't have him in pain... so hope she will give us something he can take if he has a sore tooth which he seems to have... I love him to bits - we have been together ten years in July, when I drove him home from a big town on the coast in a cardboard shoebox crying - he was 8 weeks old and I went to buy his sister, she was a lovely grey and white puppy - but I picked up Sam and melted... must have been his big brown eyes... and he cried all the way home to tiny town by the coast in the shoe box... and that night I put him on a bed in my bedroom and he cried so much I lifted him onto my bed with me and i must have fallen asleep... because when I woke up next morning this little tiny puppy face was next to me looking at me... and we have been inseparable ever since! Nearly ten years! What will I do without him ever...

Sending you warmest softest cuddles from little Sam and hugs from me oxoxoxoxo

[Tess2]

Hello darling Grandy,

are you home? I do hope so. How are the furs? I bet they were so excited and loved you to bits.

Grandy you have done so well. Such a short stay and see how life has progressed. You are making your own decisions about when to go i. To work, you have won over Mrs not so grumpy (now), you still have Betty and your sons and all of us who love you. In the end you made the decision to go to hospital, recognising what you needed.

i think you are fantastic.

tess

[Ggrand]

Hello Paws, Hanna, Tess, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and everyone...

Thank you all for saying your pleased I’m home..I am as well...

I went to my first follow up appointment yesterday...and it went okay...

My neighbour took care of my dogs, which I’m extremely grateful for..but she was feeding then in the morning in their bowls on the kitchen floor...and left my back door open 24/7...with a mice plague here..not a good thing...

I spent my first few hours at home crying because their were mice everywhere running around inside my home...They got into my wardrobe, linen closet, even inside the lounges...I googled bucket mouse trap and after a few attempts made one that works, I set it up in the laundry and after 2 days my home is now mice free....I have to wash everything in my house from my wardrobe, linen closet, move all the furniture out and scrub the floors and lounges..which I have mostly completed...Hopefully I’ll finish today, then the lawns on Monday....

Today..I feel better then I have mentally for a few days....physically not so good...moving furniture out and putting it back after I scrubbed everything has really brought out all my aches and pains.....but I suppose the positive is that I have been kept constantly busy....and out of my head...after today everything will be done..then I need to find new things to keep me busy...

The routine from hospital which I was supposed to continue once I got home..has flown out the window...but will try and get back doing it tomorrow...

Beautiful memories of little Sam..I’ll pop over to your thread today if I can 💜..

Not sure if I’ll go back to my volunteer work...I have my GP follow up appointment on Tuesday...and need scripts for the different meds I was started on in hospital...I know my GP will want me to go back to work...it gets me outside of my home...I am not ready to go out alone yet...supporter has been taking me to appointments...

Again thank you all for your very appreciated support, love and care you continually give me...

Hugs and love with my care.💚🤗🌹..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

ps...bbff...pubaok...yadimh with 💚 and 💭..

[demonblaster]

Dear sweet Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 hi everyone ☺

So glad you're back home. Geez that time scooted. I guess maybe it didnt so much for you lovely. Hey you did it Grandy love. Big cheers 👍

So so good hearing you're feeling a bit better mentally today. Must feel better too.

Wow what a mess coming home to the mice struth. It's a wonder Mrs nsc didn't think of that. Poor love sounds like you got stuck in and got the job done. Well done hun.

Oh dear Ebony and Kya must have been so thrilled as you would have been to see them the dear loves.

Grandy you poor darling it sounded you weren't in a good place at all before hospital. I'm sorry hearing you were in so deep dear love. Terrible place to be.

It's your decision hun about going back to work. If I can just throw my 2 bob in I think it's good for you. As you in the past have said its good for you to get outta the house. Otherwise you don't really have much social time. Up to you lovey though 🤗

It must feel good having some food in the cupboard lovey. Hope you're eating well.

You poor thing being so sore. Oh yeah our bods let us know don't they.

Ok my lovely I'll bbl to check on you and see that you're eating and having plenty of water too. Plenty of nice steady deep breathing dear friend ..in with the flowers...out with the weeds beautiful.

Love you very much sweetyheart. You mean the world dear friend. Love you very deeply. I wish Grandy 😢

👩‍❤️‍👩💜🕊🐘👀🤝🦄🗯🤗🏒

[Hanna3]

So glad that you're safely back home Grandy and well done getting rid of all the mice, ugh!!! So far we've been lucky here and the plague doesn't seem to have reached here...

I hope you are feeling more comfy back in your own home and snuggling up with your furs.... I hope you do go back to working at the store eventually, when you feel up to it - meantime do relax after all that cleaning and lifting furniture around won't you... and be kind to yourself.

Have to go to big town with O on Monday to little Sam's groomer - that usually means the weather turns freezing cold when he gets clipped short!!

Autumn is the loveliest time of year I reckon....

Sending you big warm soft fluffy cuddles from little Sam and big hugs from me. hugs.

[quirkywords]

Grandy

what a welcome home, is there a mice plague where you are .?

I am glad you are home and feeling mentally ok.

sending kind thoughts to you.

[Tess2]

Dear Grandy,

so glad you are home. What a thing to have to deal with, a mouse plague! That would put me right back in hospital. I hate mice , I would be totally incapable of dealing with it.

so well done you.

tess