Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[demonblaster]

Hey gorgeous Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and all 🖐

Dear love I hope todays nice for you and that you have some pleasure that gives you a lift dear lady.

So sad that Xmas is so hard for you. Not good memories sweetyheart. You're never alone anymore honey you have so many friends here that think the world of you. I think you're alright too 😄...💜👩‍❤️‍👩💗

Always listening and keeping an 👁 eye on you my gorgeous. Thanks Grandy today we're going back home. Been good.

This tabs behaving atm so good but not sure how long for.

Give a big cuddle to y/our furs precious and leaving a whopper for you too sweets.

Big love huns yAdimh lysvm PubAok. Always thinking of you darlin hoping you're ok.

How's the heart behaving darls?

C u later 😚🤗

👩‍❤️‍👩💜🗯👀🤝🍫👭😢🕊

[Ggrand]

Hello Hanna, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...and all...🤗..

My neighbour asked me over today for a cup of coffee...I took some dark Christmas Cake over..when I got their the man across the road was their....I am not comfortable with him...he left after about half hour ...then my neighbour and I had a nice afternoon tea...

She took me out back of hers and I watched the little chickens running around..they are so cute..her duck eggs didn’t hatch...Then we had another cup of tea..and she asked me over for Christmas Day, because her sons not coming until Boxing Day....I very nicely declined because she will need her rest before her sons and families arrive...She didn’t take no for an answer and kept on insisting...to keep her happy I said okay....so I’ll be having a small Christmas lunch with her...I will have to buy her a little gift to say thank you..but I don’t know what to get her...she loves animals so maybe a small animal ornament..

This time of year really drags me down, every Christmas I felt so guilty for my children and sad that I have never seen the joy in my sons nor my grandchildren’s faces on the magic of Santa Clause’s visits...all my grandchildren know there’s no Santa now....Something else I feel robbed off...

Deebi...Thank you for letting us know your headed home today..your probably already home..so take a nice refreshing shower and a beautiful long refreshing sleep...look after you dear bbff...

I wish I could take my dogs for a walk along side a river..it sounds calming..I have the dam 5 minutes drive from mine..but no dogs are allowed...because of the amount of kangaroos that have made their home their...

I will definitely call into the BB Cafe..on Christmas Day...

Much big love and care bbff..pubaok..yadimh..and 💭..💚🤗🦋🌹..

My love and care everyone with some warm hugs..💜🦋🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

[Croix]

Dear Grandy~

Despite your hesitation I'm really glad you will have that visit to go to at Christmas, you obviously have pets in common and there may be other things too. As for a present. I found Foxy Dog a ribbed ball with a squeak when chewed, it is the only one that has lasted, the the other brands the squeak stopped after a few days. This was more expensive but keeps on going

Do you think your neighbor has an animal that might appreciate one of them? Incidentally chooks eat those solid bells made of seeds all packed together, its good pecking apparently, my grandson hangs them up for their chooks.

I know Christmases can make you sad and remind you of horrible things, however please bear in mind that Santa is not really necessary, love is - and that is what you gave 💝 and still do.

I'll try to pop in the Cafe on Xmas day and wish you and all well

Croix

[demonblaster]

Hey there my/our lovely one 👩‍❤️‍👩 hi all ☺

Just jumping in to say hi sweety while this is very temporarily working! I should've posted the other day when it was working better. Not to worry.

How are you doin sweetyheart? I really hope you're winning over beasty. It's hard work isn't it but so good even if in bits getting stronger that I see in you all the time.

Croixys so on the money about love darlin. You generate so much. It's the most important needed thing in life. It's what makes us whole.

Grandy feel my love too beautiful friend going straight into your soul. Always strong. Constant thoughts & wishes for you to find peace.

PubAok lovey yAdimh lysvm.

You're a great friend 👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀🤝😚🕊💗

[demonblaster]

Hey gorjy (gorgeous) Grandy love 👩‍❤️‍👩 hi all 🖐

Darlin hope todays not stinkin yukky hot and you get to enjoy outside from your veranda. Think if ok we'll pop over and have some quality time watching our gorjy furs playing and being completely comfy in eachothers company precious friend.

Sorry hun I was so pleased Mrs NSC (not so cranky) so kindly insisted. You're getting on well thanks to your courage and kindness. I hope it's lovely for you darlin. You've broken through a very tough exterior seeing a kind heart.

Sounds so gorgeous seeing the little chicks running around the dear things.

Oh Grandy from glare at a Xmas party the other day I got so burnt wow 3rd day still positively gliwing darling 😄 well you said to get some sun...I was making up for lost time 😁. No need for lights

Okay precious friend just wanted to tell you those things.

You're one of if not the bestest bestys I have. Love you very much dear lady you're a treat. PubAok couldn't stand doing this without my bbff 🤗😚👩‍❤️‍👩💜🤝💗🕊🗯

[Ggrand]

Hello Croix, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and all...🤗..

Thank you Croix and Deebi...Neighbour loves her animals..I bought some Beef treats for her fur babies although one is quiet big..Siberian husky..the other two like mine, Neighbour doesn’t allow her dogs toys...She believes toys make dogs aggressive...Everyone is different in raising their fur babies..and that’s okay...

Neighbour can be insistent and swears badly..but I need to accept that’s who she is...I think coming from another country and speaking another language..English now being her second language swearing in our language probably doesn’t seem bad to her..idk..

Oh Deebi...I’m sorry about your sunburn,,,I believe the water glare can give very bad sunburn 🥵..Um..If you can..split an alovera leaf down the centre long ways and smear in all over your sunburn for a few days..it does help heaps...I hope apart from your sunburn... that you had a great time at the BBQ..

Yes love is the most important thing..I was watching some Christmas You Tube vids of children at Christmas time with their families....So beautiful watching them enjoy opening their presents...screaming with excitement...but it really made me so sad...Definitely not watching anymore..

Been raining on and off here..hot and cool through the days. with wind....strange weather..

Okay..needing a cuppa tea..I trimmed my crepe myrtle tree a bit today..it looks pretty when it flowers..

Big love to you precious friend always pubaok...💚🐻🤗...

Love, hugs and care Mr Croix..💚🦋🤗.,and everyone..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🌈🦋👀🤝..

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

Oh what a lovely compliment having Mrs C invite you for Xmas... it shows how your lovely nature has taught her to trust you... you have made such progress with helping her to not be so cranky & be more kindly...

I had an elderly neighbour when I lived in town who swore like a trooper & seemed unable to keep her volume below a roar... it was just how she was... she would use swear words as if they were just ordinary, everyday type words. I confess I used to cringe sometimes wishing she would tone it all down.

Crepe myrtles are lovely in flower... how have you found it has coped with being in drought for so long? I really need to spend more time in my garden... at least most of the plants here seem to have thrived on my neglect...

Enjoy your lovely cool weather... I'm sure your garden is loving the rain.

Hugs

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Grandy (waves to Deebi)

That's nice that your neighbour has invited you for Christmas, my neighbour has invited me and Sam too. I will still say hello here on BB. We were in big town starting with O yesterday and it was so cold but Sam and I had a lovely walk after he was clipped - the cold suits us much better than the heat.

The shops here are so busy, I was glad to get out today and I don't have to go back until after Christmas. Town is starting to feel Christmassy with lots of people out partying and enjoying the cafes and pubs and lots of excited children running around. Makes me feel sad we don't have family, but it's also nice to see people happy and relaxing.

I hope you have a pleasant day at Christmas. I will come by BB to say hello to people here. Fluffy hugs from little Sam oxoxox

[Ggrand]

Hello Paws, Hanna, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..and everyone..🤗..

Yes it was nice of her to ask me over for lunch tomorrow...Some company for a few hours will be nice...You’re elderly neighbour is like my neighbour...doesn’t know how to talk at the normal talk volume...has to talk load....and swear, nearly every fifth word is swearing.....I am pleased that your neighbour has asked you over for Christmas...How lovely you can take Sam...my fur babies will have to stay home...

The crepe myrtle was here when I bought the property..it seems to be surviving okay...It is a pretty mauve colour..

Hanna..I haven’t been to big town O for many years..due to my anxiety ...Was it done up for Christmas?...Smaller town starts W has no Christmas decorations at all put up...nether has the small villages...After such a sad and very bad year with COVID..I would have thought that the councils would have made an extra effort this year....

Definitely will drop into the BB Cafe tomorrow sometime..

Deebi..I hope you’re okay..and your migraines are easing off..Much love bbff..💚🦋..I’ll check in on you soon..pbbff..

love, hugs and care everyone.,💚🦋🤗💜🌺..

Merry Christmas to everyone reading here...with some Christmas 🎄 🤗..(Christmas hugs)...

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🎄🌈🎄

[Hanna3]

Hi Grandy,

I hope you have a nice time tomorrow at your neighbour's!

Big Town with an O didn't seem to have any decorations or anything, neither has this town... it's a shame. I wish they would do a bit more to make everything look festive.

I don't know how I will manage a hot lunch tomorrow, all I usually have is a yoghurt and a piece of fruit... she is going to midnight mass which is why she isn't having the lunch until 2pm..

I got a couple of new toys for little Sam but he's been so bored tonight he's got them early - something new to play with.

Sending best Christmas waves to you and Deebi and Paws and everyone xoxoxo