Turned up an hour early for my appointment today. Thought it was at 9am, but was actually at 10am. Went and had a coffee instead and then proceeded to write down weekly events. Small conflict between what the psych wants vs GP (nothing really bad!). Psych wants complete break, but GP think I should/need be able to pass critical information along via contact. There was nothing on Fri last week, so hopeful they can work things out themselves.
So we spoke about the thoughts I've been having. And the "work items" from last week (on sick leave) that I had to pass on. For me, this is really something that I am taking on a day by day basis. And then they have to be able to go 2 weeks without me to know they can work without me - 1 week is luck only. All of this, of courses, pushes me out into a different world. But we also discussed options there also. One of my lecturers says I am an idealist. A small part of me remains hopeful things could change, but the other 95% of me thinks/knows otherwise. And that is the frustrating part. Again I have a plan in this regard, and will be speaking to (or working out who to speak to) at Uni tomorrow - even if is voluntary stuff to keep busy while I heal.
Next week will be doing though challenging exercises. Homework for this week is same as last.
On, and on the decatastrophizing stuff, while I might do that for work related items, when it comes to family and life in general I can work through it. For example, the thought of stopping work does not bother me so much at the moment, as it once might have. Or maybe it is just a case that recent events have put a new or different perspective on things that matter.
Emmy - you asked me about whether the session is exhausting? Yes and no. I am brutally honest about myself with my psych. For me, it is the only way I can move forward. So while it is exhausting while present, there is a sense of the calm once done, as I can get all these questions and negative thoughts out of my head.
