Hi Mikej,
Welcome to Beyondblue, and welcome to the forums.
It must have been very emotionally challenging having to take care of your wife when she was unwell, and then more significantly after her death. I am truly sorry for your loss.
I understand what it's like in those first few weeks it seems like you have a lot of visitors and supports and soon they disappear and you feel like there's a substantial void. Were you able to get some grief counselling after your wife passed? This could still be a very good idea. It's also important to remember that it will take some time now to re engage with things you used to find enjoyable. That doesn't mean you need to wait forever to experience happiness and joy. Start small. Coming here to the forums is a good first step. There are plenty of people here happy to listen, chat, or even offer support. You might also like to join some of the existing discussions. They're not all about mental illness. There are posts on poetry, finding motivation, jokes, finding joy in difficult times, being thankful, and even some pretty remarkable stories of hope and recovery.
Do you still have contact with any family or friends? Do you have neighbours at the unit you live in? I know when I lost my boyfriend doing things like grocery shopping was an outing for me. It meant I got to see people, speak to the lady at the checkout, and come home and cook myself something nice. I also started to realise that some of the things we used to enjoy doing together I could also do on my own. What sorts of interests do you have? What did you used to enjoy doing when your wife was still alive?
Do you have at home nursing visit you regularly? This might be an idea, even if it helps with your personal and environment hygiene. There are also a number of support groups available for people who are grieving. There are meetup groups available for all sorts of activities. You could try your local community centre and see if there is a small course or activity that you would like to participate in.
When we lose someone we tend to lose the friends that we had when we were a couple as well. So this is an opportunity now to make some new acquaintances. Try to include even just one small enjoyable activity in each day. Organise something so you know you have to get out of bed each morning, even if it's to go for a walk.
I hope some of this is useful, and we look forward to hearing more from you on the forums.
AGrace
