Gone not forgotten

[Lost_puppy]

Once apon a time there was a little girl from a poor family she had an older brother mum & dad. Mum was mentally ill & didn't really like her daughter, dad was a drunk at times & a brute who was not scared to beat on the mother... mum would turn a blind eye & a family FRIEND SA'd the little girl a few times ...she grew up having many struggles to overcome alone until her first baby born didn't make it ...she was never the same after that day...broken homeless & alone again she met a boy & thier family took her in .. she had a  child to him gorgeous & much loved daughter but after a few years the relationship ended & sadly the grandmothers  took that young girl of her. I was stricken with grief again & in a new relationship with a alcoholic narcissist, she fought hard for her daughter back but that took 2 years . She wasn't a bad mother didn't do drugs or drink & had abundance of love to give...  years passed & 2 more girls. She had her 3 girls & a terribly abusive relationship finally it ended but with parental alienation he took one of those girls. I was malnutrished & broken again not long after my eldest girl went back to live with one eyed grandmother who loved the girl but hated her own daughter...then after years of recovering mu remaining daughter & I had wonderful years together all the while trying to get her other daughters back as 1 loving family .she had 1 last child ...after getting allot older & still single & much soul searching couldn't bring herself to end the pregnancy a magnificent baby boy came & she was for the first time the best version of herself...she recently left the peaceful place she lived to return back to the country where her other daughters were living believing if she could just be closer to them they all could spend time with each other... & we do & all my children feel more loved than ever & they love me back .perfect... but the rest of the family are still the same vindictive people & im struggling with that, & I'm suffering anxiety & missing my peacefully home & wish one day to return but knowing my other kids will not go there ...

[smallwolf]

hello and welcome.

firstly, I am sorry for the delay in anyone getting back to you.

Wow! It sounds as though your journey has been incredibly tough. I can't imagine the hurdles you've faced, and how you've persevered for the love of your children. Life throws some intense curveballs, and it seems that you have faced more than your fair share.

It's also sad to hear about the ongoing struggles with your family. Difficult dynamics is never easy, especially when you're longing for a sense of peace. 

Your courage in making it this far and writing here ... please take it one step at a time - you've already weathered storms that would have shaken many. Listening ...