Winter Blues

[Fiatlux]

Hi everyone,

Why does depression hit harder on cold gloomy days?

Its only May and I am already feeling the cold. I am contemplating a cold winter indoors and weekends in bed, hiding from the outside.

I am already exhausted this year. I work 5 days a week and I am exhausted and disinterested in getting up and out on the weekends.

January 2020 I spent on a warm tropical island in Queensland. I would give anything to be back there. In hindsight I took it for granted.

In normal economic times I have treated myself to a short holiday somewhere warm in the middle of winter.

This year I feel despair that I just don’t have the will, energy or finances to get on a plane to somewhere nice. I feel guilty for even wanting to get out of here, leaving a mess behind me.

My sons are both struggling with work and finances and all I want is to be on Daydream Island.

I honestly don’t know if I can keep going this year. I am so scared of the future. I want to make a move but I am stuck. Too old to work at this pace, but too poor to stop.

I wake up tired every morning and all I look forward to is staying in bed on the weekends.

[white knight]

Hi welcome

I feel your guilty is your enemy. When we are in a depressive cycle motivation and positive thinking cannot work, the more we try all we are doing is getting disappointed and feeling bad as we cant overcome our daily challenges. All that adds to the cycle, it doesnt reduce it.

Winter months is known for it's depressive period in some people. By going north annually you have short circuited that and its allowed you to survive easier. The only remedy is more sleep earlier retiring to the bed and basically hibernating.

I've got a couple of easy to read posts below. Just read the first post of each, hope they help you.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/depression/depression-and-the-timing-of-motivation

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/a-good-nights-deep-sleep---sleep-apnea-and-cpap

https://coronavirus.beyondblue.org.au/COVID-normal/supporting-personal-wellbeing/tips-for-getting-a-good-night's-sleep

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/switching-mindsets

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/guilt-the-tormentor-

Repost anytime. Glad you are here.

TonyWK

[Bob_22]

Hi Fiatlux,

Sorry to hear that you are struggling with depression at the moment. Outside of the rainy, cold and gloomy weather it sounds like you also have a whole lot on your plate including finances, full time work and concern for your sons.

Depression, its symptoms, treatment and causes are entirely unique to everyone. Its difficult to say if weather is directly impacting somebody's experience of mental health but it is certainly known to be a common stressor. My doctor encourages me to go exercise/walk around outside at least 2 days a week for both the aerobic benefits but also the fresh air/sunlight it provides.

I'm not sure if my post helps but its definitely worth raising with your GP, psychologist or psychiatrist that you're low on energy and finding it difficult to get out of bed. It may have something to do with weather, other stressors or a whole combination of factors. But its important to stay connected, to your clinicians as well as any family/friends. 🙂

[Fiatlux]

Thanks Bob_22,

Family I have 3 children, 1 lives overseas… that is my entire family.

Friends, I have none.

Medical support, I have none at the moment.

Just a few years back, I bounded out of bed at 5am for rigorous daily exercise. Went to work for 8 hours and often did nightly exercise too. I walked everywhere I could.

The stresses of the past couple of years has robbed me of my life. I had plans before Covid hit and all these have been shelved.

I am hopeful that this terrible phase will pass.

[Bob_22]

Hi Fiatlux,

Thank you for your reply. Again, I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling at the moment with little support available. I can understand how you feel when you mention that you used to be alot more motivated and would exercise daily. It is easy, especially those with depression, to compare how we are to our past selves and maybe feel guilt, regret or disappointment with our current situations. I constantly think back to my situation 3 years ago prior to my relapse and how I was so much better off mentally, physically, financially and career wise. But its important to acknowledge that you have learned and proven you fortitude in battling with your stressors and continuing to seek help.

I might suggest that you start by seeing your GP (or any GP if you don't have a regular one) who can write up a mental health treatment plan which will cover 20 (I believe) partly subsidised sessions with a psychologist. There is a lot to be gained by sharing your experience with a professional.

There are also some great resources on this website, especially in regards to COVID and the impact it has had on mental wellbeing. I believe it comes with its own phone and webchat support service.

Hope this helps,

Bob

[Fiatlux]

Thank you Bob_22,

Your support is encouraging.

I am a living example of what 35 years of DV does to a person.

I tried a mental health plan late 2020. I got through 3 sessions but the trauma of digging up the awful things that have been done to me was overwhelming.

I have tried books and support groups.

I concede that I just have to live with this, the best I can.

I have zero tolerance for abuse and violence and as I age, I am no longer afraid to speak up.

[Bob_22]

Hi Fiatlux,

Again, sorry to hear about your past experience with psychologists. Fortunately I've not had the issue but its definitely tricky finding the right clinician with the right approach. I did some research on the psychologists in my area before asking my GP for the referral which seemed to help. That might be something to consider if you decide you might like to revisit the mental health care plan down the road but obviously its up to us to decide when we're ready.

Also sorry to hear about your past with domestic violence. As i'm sure you know there are some good resources on the 1800respect.org.au website but it doesn't take away the fact that your past will always stay with you. My psychologist recommended volunteering or helping others in similar situations as a way of empowerment for my depression and its something I find helps. But everyone copes with present and previous mental health issues in different ways.

Bob 🙂