Dear Puggsley,
Welcome to Beyond Blue and well done for reaching out.
I must say, you sound like quite an active person, like my Dad is. He is 82 and cannot drive anymore, cannot play squash, and doesn't cook for himself, even though he probably could! My Dad lost his one and only love - My Mum - 7 years ago to cancer, and so lost 'half his world' in effect. But he is active nonetheless. He now rides his bike about 50 to 70 kilometres a day, volunteers with the local men's shed, and I pretty much have to 'make an appointment' to see him! Mind you, I also work close to full time and live more than 60 kilometres away from him. Mind you, my Dad also has only one eye due to cancer, and a whole bunch of other medical issues. But does that stop him? No way!
I'm saying all this because with change, comes grief. And I know that I myself have at times confused grief with depression .... and at other times, grief has also been accompanied by depression.
Perhaps these things that are closing off around you is the universe's way (or God or Higher Power or whatever) of saying "Hey there! Time to move on sunshine, cos I've got this thing lined up that is just for you!" But maybe this thing that is just for you couldn't be done before because the other things were in the way?
All life changes take some getting used to. Try not to give yourself a hard time about adjusting to the change. Kick the black dog out, and go knocking on some other doors!
In the meantime, take care. I'll be thinking of you. xo
