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Weight gain… will I fail again.

Bec98
Community Member

When I was around 21 (2019) I went on a new medication which had a side effect of weight gain.  Last year I joined a gym and tried to loose the weight. I lost about 10kg… then in June I went through a bad break up, august I was bullied at work and had to leave my job. No job, no money, no gym.
Since then my mental health has been down, down and downer. I self harmed and had an attempt…
I’m on workcover because of that situation, i go to psychology every week, doc every few weeks. I have changed medications that many times trying to stabilise my mood and one of them had a weight gain side effect (as well as increased appetite). Today I was weighed and all the work I did last year is gone. I feel so deflated. I am literally not doing anything (other than general farm duties) and I just don’t have the energy. I’m looking at joining a gym again now that I am on work cover and have some money coming in (not living on savings like before). But I am terrified that I will fail again. That I will make some progress then some curveball will hit and I will end up where I am or worse.

I don’t have a support system really, just my psychologist. I am really terrified that I won’t be able to shift the weight or I’ll end up back here. I will try but I am just so scared I’ll fail again. 

2 Replies 2

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Bec98~

Welcome back, it has been quite a while since yoou were here. Life has not handed you an easy road and with abuse and being bullied, constantly put down and struggling to find the right medication and weight I'm not at all surprised you have difficulties.

 

I can't tell you how to lose weight, though I'm not sure that is the main thing to worry about -being able to cope is more valuable, at least for me. I can tell you about fear, fear of failure.

 

You are faced wiht a difficult task -lose weight. Many people have the same desire and no it is not in the least bit easy. Faced with a difficult task all those times you were put down and feel you are of less worth take their toll and you do not have the confidence to start -becuse you'll most likely fail.

 

I hate to say it but if you are like most folks you will have times when your diet and exercise are beyond you, and weight may fluctuate. That's not you, that's the problem all have. The big thing is to accept in the task you have set yourself there will be such times and dealing with them is the thing you have to master -to have the confidence to try some more and build on your experience when times are right.

 

It's a bit light climbing a steep slope with rocks and sand. As you go up you will trip or slide and come part way down. There is no shame in that , you just start again, if it happens again you start again, and each time practice wil make you more knowledgeable about yourself and your strengths.

 

Do not set yourself up for failure by choosing nearly impossible goals. Try small ones, one less item eaten during the day, 1 minute more exercise. As you have these small victories you may feel ready for something just a tiny bit harder, and so it goes.

 

I was frightened -paralyzed - about giving up smoking. I was convinced it was impossible and so I never tried. I was wrong and no longer smoke.

 

You are getting there - believe me. You face huge obstacles and did not give up.

 

Croix

james1
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Bec98,

 

That must've felt so deflating to have your hard work at the gym undone. It sounds like there's a fair bit going on in your life and it's putting a lot of stress on you, and weight is just one of these things.

 

Still, it's great to hear you are going to try again, because that's always the way our upwards climbs start. One thing I find really helps these up and down journeys is to metaphorically take someone with you, and have them responsible for reminding us that we're actually always on an up. Setbacks can be really deflating and make us feel like we're back at the start, but there's been a lot of experience gained and we are training our brain every time we challenge the part that says, "you can't do it." That person could be your psychologist, or even just us here. Some people use these forums for years and, even when they come back after a major setback, you can see the difference between their first posts and most recent posts.

 

I hope you have a gentle rest of the long weekend.

 

James