Dear Bec98~
Welcome back, it has been quite a while since yoou were here. Life has not handed you an easy road and with abuse and being bullied, constantly put down and struggling to find the right medication and weight I'm not at all surprised you have difficulties.
I can't tell you how to lose weight, though I'm not sure that is the main thing to worry about -being able to cope is more valuable, at least for me. I can tell you about fear, fear of failure.
You are faced wiht a difficult task -lose weight. Many people have the same desire and no it is not in the least bit easy. Faced with a difficult task all those times you were put down and feel you are of less worth take their toll and you do not have the confidence to start -becuse you'll most likely fail.
I hate to say it but if you are like most folks you will have times when your diet and exercise are beyond you, and weight may fluctuate. That's not you, that's the problem all have. The big thing is to accept in the task you have set yourself there will be such times and dealing with them is the thing you have to master -to have the confidence to try some more and build on your experience when times are right.
It's a bit light climbing a steep slope with rocks and sand. As you go up you will trip or slide and come part way down. There is no shame in that , you just start again, if it happens again you start again, and each time practice wil make you more knowledgeable about yourself and your strengths.
Do not set yourself up for failure by choosing nearly impossible goals. Try small ones, one less item eaten during the day, 1 minute more exercise. As you have these small victories you may feel ready for something just a tiny bit harder, and so it goes.
I was frightened -paralyzed - about giving up smoking. I was convinced it was impossible and so I never tried. I was wrong and no longer smoke.
You are getting there - believe me. You face huge obstacles and did not give up.
Croix
