unmotivated,depressed, lonely

[animallover1991]

hi to anyone reading this....

i don't really know where to begin, I'm 22 female suffering depression, I have been for a long while. part of my depression stems from being unhappy with my own personality and the lack of motivation I have for anything in life. One thing that made me unhappy was working at the same place for 6 years, and I finally pushed myself to resign from my job. However I didn't have another job to go to, which was probably not the smartest thing to do. But I still don't regret my decision because I figured if I didn't leave now i wouldn't probably ever leave and not experience other job ect. 

i do have some savings but obviously I can't just live off that. everyone asks me what other job I would like to do...and I really don't know. I mean I feel like just the thought of looking for a new job, I couldn't even be bothered. I keep putting it off, aswell as my traveling aspirations, I just can't seem to motivate myself to go and book one. partially because I'm scared of being in another  country with people I don't know, and I'm not exactly a good friend maker... I basically only have my bf which I don't think is really a serious relationship, but I still enjoy his company and I rely on him to make me feel good, which I know is not healthy to be with someone to make you happy. 

i want to be able to join a sports club, go travelling and meet new people but it's like there is no drive in me or like I need someone else to push me to do things. I feel like I'm wasting my life away, but then some days I wonder why am I alive, what do I have to look forward to? I think the lack of confidence I have making new. friends is and always has been a problem for me. sometimes I think perhaps I couldn't be bothered with humans and I don't want to make friends, I don't know.....

[Girl_Anachronism]

Hi Animal lover,

First of all welcome! Thankyou for posting on this forum. It is lovely to meet you. 🙂

I feel you. I am currently stuck in a similar pit with an unfinished uni degree, no career plans and no idea of where to start looking for jobs. On top of that I am living hand to mouth financially off Centrelink. So while I'm not in your exact circumstance- I can understand where you are coming from.

Sometimes we get hiccups in our lives. Times when we can change direction. Perhaps, you like me, are just have to stop a moment to read the signs and see which path to take. Good on you for deciding to take the leap and leave your last job. From what it sounds like it wasn't working for you. The only question now is where to go from here. If it takes time it takes time.

It's a scary decision to make, though just because you decide today to be one thing does not mean you will be that for the rest of your life. My husband has had jobs in four completely unrelated careers. He is happier for it. I have studied at least  6 months each towards four degrees in completely unrelated fields.  I have worked in two other completely other unrelated fields. I still don't know what I want to do yet.

If you are indeed looking for some pointers, there are questionaires like the Myers-Briggs which tells you your personality type and gives suggestion for possible suitable careers. In addition there are online courses such as Coursera which offer short 4-8 week units in subjects ranging from maths to neuroscience to Buddhism. Best of all, they are free. Even if you don't do one, you can browse through their catalogue and maybe something will leap out at you?

I notice that you say "...I couldn't be bothered to make friends with humans..." Connecting the dots between that and you're username, have you thought about working with animals? I don't know what your old job was so if it was that ignore that question.

Most importantly, have you spoken to your GP about how have you been feeling? It can feel so hard sometimes just to get out of bed, let alone leave the house. It can help just to know that someone else knows what you are going through, even if they are just on the nameless voice on the other end of a phoneline. Better yet you can just hang up and never have to speak to them again. Just like the number at the top of the page. otherwise keep chatting to us here, we would love to have you.

Only you can make this decision, so keep holding that torch up to read the signs at this intersection. If it ever gets too heavy, we are here to hold it for you while you take this time for yourself.

Take Care and Talk Soon

GA

[Scott_Depression]

Hi Animal Lover!

Just read your story and sounds very familiar to me.

Firstly, I fully endorse what GA said - all makes great sense.

You seem to be getting down on yourself - that's an insidious part of this disease.  What I'd say to you though is that IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!  Some of us just don't produce the right mix of chemicals within our heads!  It's really no different to a diabetic requiring insulin to stay healthy.  It's just that in your case & mine, we need some chemicals (medicine) to get us back to an even keel.  It's a physiological issue and it's nothing to be ashamed of in any way.

From experience, when feeling low, I know I just found everything completely overwhelming - it's a terrible cycle that's hard to get out of.  My advice is to write all of the things you need to tackle in a list, then tackle just a little at a time - maybe your BF or friends/family can help you.  Even just write 1 thing down - that's a great start!

I'd suggest #1 priority would be to make that first call or just walk into your local GP's office.  They are now generally well prepared for helping us with depression.  I know its' really hard to do this, but you will be so happy to take a positive step - maybe even get someone to go there with you?

Hope it helps to tell you a shorthand version of my story - since a teenager, I'd struggled with moods & suffered terribly with depression for 15+ years.  Then I got in a very stressful workplace and had a bit of a meltdown - I'm talking staring at the wall kind of ill.  Had a course of ECT (Electric Convulsive Therapy) and got onto medication that worked for me.  That episode was about 6 years ago and now life couldn't be better - there is ALWAYS HOPE.

Sincerely wishing you the best - happy to answer any questions you have

Scott

[Neil_1]

Hi there Animal Lover,

Can I just say first off that I'm glad that I wasn't the first one to write to you, cause I read your name as:  Anim All Over ... um, so yeah that just me.  Don't worry, I am on medication and I do hope to get better.

This is about all I'm going to post, because the two responses you've received from GA and also Scott were brilliant and listed some great advice and options for you.

I do want to say, Welcome also and I'm glad that you've made this step to reach out to this site ... you'll find it full of brilliant and wonderful people (two awesome examples are GA and Scott) and we all want to help, support and advise as much as we can.  Illnesses like this are just horrible ... I was after a worse word than horrible, but I'll stick with it for the time being ... and sufferers do need as much support as they wish to receive.

I hope you can come back here and let us know how you're going and please feel free to post here as often as you able to.

Kind regards

Neil

ps:  even my supposedly short posts turn out to be long!  Sorry about that.  🙂

[Scott_Depression]

Hi Animallover

Hope you're doing ok.  Just checking in to see if you've posted - please do so if you're able to so we know you're taking care of yourself.

Kind regards

Scott