Tired and Depressed

[Misswren]

I feel like I must have been born under a bad or star or been a terrible person in a past life, because so much of what I've experienced over the last 20 years has been abuse, rejection, feeling isolated all through situations where I've had no control over what happened and mostly through the actions of the people around me.  I constantly ask myself why does this keep happening when everyone around me has love, support and friendship. I'm not a very outgoing person, I do try to get along with others but they never respond the way I'd appreciate them to yet it seems so different with everybody else. I don't fit in, I never have but not for lack of trying. I'm tired of feeling like an outsider in life, stressed out because I feel so alone most of the time, but i don't know what to do about it. 

[Bob_22]

Hi Misswren,

Thank you so much for posting your story. I'm sorry to hear that you have been struggling with feelings of isolation and feeling tired and depressed. I think this is a sentiment many other users on this forum can relate to and I hope you can find a sense of community through others' stories also.

I have also, especially during my younger years, struggling with feelings of isolation and not being able to fit in. Peculiarly, this was even though I had a pretty good group of friends and family around me. Despite this, I often felt alone with my thoughts accompanied with feelings of low self worth and jealousy. It wasn't until I hit crisis that I sought professional help from my GP who referred to a psychiatrist that I discovered what I was feeling was common amongst those with major depressive disorder. Fortunately, after treatment with appropriate medication and psychotherapy alot of these feelings lifted even though I didn't necessarily gain more family or friends. Of course, there are other things one can do to expand their support network including joining sports groups, hobby groups, book clubs etc. But for me, it was mainly through CBT that I found relief.

If you haven''t already, I would recommend seeking assistance from a psychologist or mental health social worker to simply talk through some of what you're feeling. Especially so if it is affecting many aspects of your life. They may be able to help identify any risk factors but also strengthen your support network and possibly help feelings of isolation just through that alone. And if you're ever stuck in crisis, you are always able to speak to a beyond blue counsellor 24/7 through phone or web chat by following this link here: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/talk-to-a-counsellor 

I hope some of this helps. Please update us on how you're going and if you have any tips that might benefit other users. Thank you again for sharing. 💙

Bob

[Misswren]

Thank you for replying to me.  I'm seeing a psychiatrist at the moment who listens and validates the abuse that I went through which I'm very grateful for. I'm glad CBT has worked for you, this doctor is very keen on CBT and I've had a few months of sessions but it doesn't seem to help much and I'm not sure how to bring it up with him.  We just kind of jumped into it without much information on my part on how it's supposed to work or what I should expect. I've been reading up as much as I can because having PTSD is hard and I hate feeling the way I do. Does CBT not work for everyone? 

[Bob_22]

Hi Misswren,

Thanks for the update. Glad to hear that you've sought professional help. From what I know, CBT is very popular these days but it doesn't work for everyone and can sometimes be insufficient also. It would be best to discuss with your psychiatrist if they know of any specific psychologists who might be helpful specifically for PTSD. If you let your doctor know that you've tried CBT in the past they should certainly be understanding. In terms of online information there are some resources on PTSD on the beyond blue website here: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/anxiety/types-of-anxiety/ptsd as well as the black dog institute here: https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/resources-support/post-traumatic-stress-disorder/ 

Hope that helps 💙

Bob

[jaz28]

Hi Misswren,

I am sorry you are feeling like this, it must be hard for you. I too feel like I must be paying off some sort of karmic debt because I have been through an insane amount of stressful life events in 2 years than most people would experience over a lifetime. Although this is upsetting and I have asked "why me?" a shameful amount of times, I try as hard as I can to keep a positive outlook on life. Something that helps with this is practising gratitude, and mindfulness whilst also seeking therapy. Your past experience and trauma from rejection and abuse would probably influence your thought processes now, they may be more negative and isolating. My advice would be to seek your GP and get a referral to a psychologist, therapy really helps to change your thought processes to be more positive and healthy, which can have a beneficial impact on your life in turn.

I hope things improve soon,

Jaz xx