FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

How to help Depressed loved one.

Dk2022
Community Member

Hello all, can someone offer some advice on how to approach someone that dosent acknowledge they are depressed,

I've tried to bring a doctor home and was refused entry, so a friends and family.

She won't leave the house or attend any function.

2 Replies 2

smallwolf
Community Champion
Community Champion

hello and welcome,

 

It can very difficult to convince to get help that person does not think anything is wrong. That said, a good starting point is ...

 

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/supporting-someone

 

the other thing can be to approach the conversation talking about the effect it has on you. And it can be a slow process to change, but I can think you care about this person quite a bit, so a little patience ... Perhaps not quite what you were hoping. 

therising
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Dk2022

 

First, want to start by saying you're such a conscious deeply caring person. This person and the world are blessed to have you.

 

A few questions

  1. Are they actually depressed or have they reached the conclusion they genuinely just love being on their own, far more than they love not being on their own? Do they happily prefer their own company? or
  2. Do you get a sense they could know something's wrong but aren't acknowledging the extent of what's wrong? or
  3. They have zero sense they're in a depression?

With that last one and based on my own experience, a lot of the time someone won't know they're in a depression until they can feel it. I suppose the best way to describe it is by looking at a depression as being like a well, so like a deep long vertical depression into the ground. You may not feel yourself enter in and you may not feel yourself having traveled some way down but at some point you will feel yourself in there. I suppose it's like suddenly waking up to find you're in a depression.

 

Maybe if you can get to the bottom of why she won't leave the house or attend any function it might offer a clearer picture of what's going on. As an example, if she's become reclusive based on her reaching some conclusion like 'Everyone around me is judgemental and depressing', shutting herself away from people may seem like a logical thing to do but it will only remain logical until it becomes depressing for one reason or another. If she's a sensitive type, switching off from everything and everyone she's sensitive to might feel like a much needed break for her. A break implies she has to go back out into the world at some point and managing how she does that is key. Maybe she'd like to be able to manage that in different ways that work.

 

Do you get a sense of why she's become reclusive? Has it come with age and intolerance or perhaps it has been born from some need?