Thoughts on Depression

[Dennis38]

I think I have come to a startling revelation about myself, or I should say that I have come to a final conclusion. I honestly think that once you are hit with a depression such as the one that I, and many others, have gone though we're some what broken the rest of our lives. We manage and we live with depression but we never truly get "better" its kind of like a recovering drug addict or recovering alcoholic. I have several friends that are recovering drug or alcohoics and they... have all said the same thing, we are clean, we are better, yet one little slip, one taste and we will be off the wagon and maybe for good. Its always a battle with yourself and temptation, depression is kind of the same thing. 

To be brutally honest I think that depression is actually a little harder, I can not begin to imagine the will power that it takes a recovering drug or alcholoic to stay on the wagon, but both the recovering drug addicts and recovering alcohoilics have a great support system. There are meetings like AA and other such things, and when these people be come clean people praise them for being clean and sober for how ever long they have managed it.  But yet when it comes to depression people (and those that suffer from this disease) lay to hard of a judgement on people. Those that suffer from depression are the worst ones when it comes to judging ourselves (I am including myself in this). There is still this major stigma about being depressed as if some how its "wrong" or people will look on the outside and say "Well what reason do they have?"  

Honestly its easier to stay depressed then to try to fix what is wrong with in yourself, or at the very least its a hell of a lot easier to just say "I am depressed and worthless, so why bother trying?" Depression still has its claws in me, I have my good days, then I have some really bad days, and I still have some major issues that I am not sure if I have the strength to stand up and change or at least work around, such as

I am scared to try something new to improve myself because I am waiting for something to come along and rip it out of my grasp like what has happened a lot in the past, either through my own fault or through someone else's fault.  Despite the fear and anxiety I am still moving forward, trying to start my own business, and trying to help others where and when I can, half a step only but its still moving forward!

[geoff]

dear Dennis, it's great to have you join us again, it's been a long time between drinks and only figuratively speaking, but when people who used to be on the site often but suddenly leave, unfortunately we tend to forget about them, and I only say this because we get caught up in all the present posts, so please don't take this the wrong way, which I don't think you will.

I have to agree with you on all the points you make, because once we are burdened with depression we are always expect for it to re-occur, such as having relapses.

Our minds are not the same, and even though I consider myself to have overcome this illness, it won't stop me from having a relapse and yes it has happened a couple of times, but however, I then know that that it will only last a day or two, because I know that I won't be dragged down for months on end, but maybe I am lucky, as I can see that some people will be burdened with it for months on end.

And yes although the awareness has greatly improved in regard to how people look at depression, it's still a massive taboo for those people that have never had this disease, because somehow they believe that we are faking it or putting on an act, so it's these people that need to be made aware that depression is common and can affect anyone, as there isn't one person who couldn't get it, no one is inflallible, absolutely anyone can be brought down, and that's the point that needs to be addressed, just as much as telling people that their symptoms could be because they have this illness.

So I think that taking this angle and informing people out in the street that it's very possible they can get it, so that their pretend barrier which they believe they have, is never strong enough to prevent.

Dennis I would dearly like to know how your business is going as well as how you are actually feeling. Geoff.

[Dennis38]

Hello Geof,

Your right I wont take it the wrong way as I agree with you about the currant posts. So no worries on that part. The business is going slow we are taking it one step at a time and covering all the bases before we truly go into full swing, part of that is me part of that is the wife, and part of it is common sense mixed with just a bit of fear. As to how I am feeling I am pretty good, really can not complain of late, still nervous still a little down now and again but I am basically better. I have better control over this and like you I do get down but its only a couple of days, maybe a week max before I can pull myself out of it, but it has not been as bad as it was at first.

Seeking help really does work, but that is a really hard step to take. And yes people need to be better aware of this issue. One point I have made in the past is this. You see your neighbour, he/she has a great house, two cars, a swimming pool and from the outside a happy family. People will see this person and then if they seem down or depressed they will say, "Well what right does he/she have to be depressed?!" The problem is that person yes could have all those nice things that we want, but what people do not stop to consider is that person could be up to their hair line in debt, creditors calling at all times of day. This puts stress on the person and their family which adds to the depression, even though they try and put on a happy, oh we are so normal family act, on the inside though its dark as midnight and they are struggling with every breath they draw.

I am trying to do my part in bring more awareness to this problem simply by being a bit more forward not only with my thoughts, such as this, but also sharing my story with different forums, and even sharing with some of my family members who have had no idea of the nightmare that has been going on in my life as they have choice to ignore it.  The more we talk about this disease the better people will become aware of it, and stop with the stigma, and it may just help someone raise their hand and say, help please.

[Jo3]

Hi Dennis

Welcome back!! I have missed you.

I'm not much for words at the moment, but I just wish the stigma of depression and other mental illnesses were gone forever. I wish that there was no judgement on people who are suffering - but there still is.

I agree, the more we talk about it the more people are aware.

Take care

Jo