Struggling with depression

[Big_matt]

I have been diagnosed with depression and have been medicated and on way off medication and stopped counciling over 12 months ago 

recently been struggling feeling like I'm slipping back down and I have had so much help of family and friends but I don't want to reach out to them as I feel ashamed and that they would be like harder up your just been soft and your just after attention after We Helping you before 

I just want to run leave everything behind but also find that I am now crying every couple days over the absolute rubbish i work in a harsh work place high stress prison officer 

[Blue_skies]

Hi Big matt,

It sounds like your feeling overwhelmed and confused right now. As you say that you feel like you are "slipping back down" I would encourage you to seek some professional help given that you feel that you can't talk with your family and friends about this.

You say you have stopped medication and counselling a while ago, so maybe it is time to review that.This doesn't necessarily mean that you may have to go back onto medication but it may be wise to make an appointment with your GP at the very least. The Beyond Blue support line is also a great resource. Just a starting point but you don't want to slip any further down. 

If there are lifestyle issues that are contributing to your difficulties, maybe review those as well. Of course, not everything can be changed, but just a couple of small changes can make a difference. If your work situation is becoming unbearable, is there a possibility of moving into a different line of work? 

Hope this helps.

[Stormy]

Hi Big Matt,

I agree with Blue Skies,you should consider professional help again. It is always hard when you don't feel you can talk to your family.

My own personal experience, running away is not the answer, I have done that most of my life,and you just keep running rather than dealing with it. I have lived at over 38 different places, and I am only 55 years old.Running is not the answer, however, a change of scenery might be. The scenery change,maybe something simple like working in a different section of your organisation or a different job all together. Like you, I worked in a job that was quite stressful,similar job, but bounced around from section to section for a change, it didn't solve my problem but it sure did help. I have recently retired due to ill health. I get my therapy now from writing and my photography. 

You are not alone mate. I thought I would just add my support to what Blue Skies has already posted. I hope that you start to bounce back soon. The best of luck.