Struggling, need to talk.

Emma-Lee · ‎29-01-2015

Hi I'm new to this so please bare with me.

I have suffered anxiety and PTSD most of my life and only started treating it 4 years ago. It took my now husband to tell me something wasn't right. My family always told me I was just emotional and overthinking everything and made me believe what I felt was what everyone felt.

i successfully went onto medication and sort help with a psychologist and everything was getting better despite how hard it was to talk about how I felt and The abuse I had been through as a child.

last year my psychologist decided it was time to reduce my sessions and to call her when I needed her instead. I convinced myself I was doing great I was happy and confident and had convinced my self I was fine.

I had even struggled with depression when I lost my grandfather last year and she felt I came through ok.

In this last week I feel different I feel as though the depression has been creeping back and I've just been telling myself I'm ok, and convincing others the same.

i honestly did not have a great childhood and now I do have a loving and caring husband who works so hard to give us the world and tries so hard to understand what I'm going through. But I know I make it very hard for him sometimes, I'm just feel neutral or down a lot of the time and have been constantly sick of late which has thrown off my medication and made things worse.

I've been to Drs and now need to see a psychiatrist to change my meds. I don't feel I need my psychologist but I do feel lost and embarrassed that I have fallen back into this state that I tried so hard to convince myself I wasn't in.

Basically I just want to know if there is anyone that can relate, I just feel really alone at the moment even though my husband and work collegues are telling me they understand I just feel alone.

CrashCoyote · ‎29-01-2015

Hi Emma-Lee.

I am happy to hear that you have a supportive husband and professional support that works for you.

It is not uncommon when reducing consults with a psychologist to go too long before realising it. I do not know about your medication regime and have never been prescribed or used any drugs for my depression and PTSD. I do know that drugs are not always the answer and that if you have a regime that is effective with minimal side effects, a change might compromise that.

Can I suggest you go back and see you psychologist at least once? That is the thing that has changed between your previous state of mind and now.

I'd be keen to hear how you go.

Kind regards, John.

fitgirl · ‎29-01-2015

Hi Emma-Lee,

You are not alone with your troubles girl, I know I haven't walked in your shoes but I can tell you now I understand the place your in. reaching out is a great start, I hope I can help you in someway.

I too suffered abuse as a child (violence) and as a result suffer from many mental health issues.

You also need to remember that you survived, you pushed through and you are strong. You have met a fabulous husband who is there to help you and it sounds like you have some very understanding work colleagues.

Sometimes when I'm feeling down I like to write down my thoughts, or have a big cry watching a movie and fall a sleep, or head down to the beach and just walk with my feet in the sand, next time you feel anxiety try taking off your shoes and walking in the grass or beach sand or water (I know it sounds crazy right? but some how I find for me I calm and I breath).

Its not uncommon for depression to return. (I've been suffering for around 21yrs, I'm only 26 years old) visit your psychologist again and if your not getting the help you need seek someone else where. Never feel ashamed about needing help.

Please let me know how you go, or keep in contact.
I'd very much like to hear how you go.

🙂

CrashCoyote · ‎22-02-2015

Hi Emma-Lee,

I am just wondering how you are going.

Kind regards, John.

Emma-Lee · ‎24-02-2015

Hi John,

thank you for your support and advice I truly appreciate not feeling alone. I thought I would let you know how I've been.

I did not go back to my psychologist but I have started to see a psychiatrist. She has helped me a lot in a short time and wants to see me every month for the foreseeable future. Unfortunately at this stage in my life I cannot function without medication, I wish I could but I am unable to eat and become quite withdrawn if I do not take it as the anxiety makes me quite unwell.

The psychiatrist has changed my medication and it is working well so far.

She is also putting together new techniques for me to cope with difficult situations and to help deal with my PTSD especially with the night terrors and lack of sleep.

Thank you again for you reply and support

Emma-Lee · ‎24-02-2015

Hi,

thank you for your kind words and support you made me cry, not because you made me sad but because you made me feel normal and that I am not alone and that I will be ok. You gave me some relief xx

I have made time for me a bit more lately, it's helping 🙂

I did not return to my psychologist but have started seeing a psychiatrist and she has really helped me in a short amount of time. She wants to see me every month for the foreseeable future. She is working on a program for me to help with my anxiety and PTSD. she has also changed my medication to one with far less side effects and it is doing well so far.

I just feel I'm ready for the next stage in my life where I don't have the pressures of my anxiety... Its silly because I know mental illness isn't like a cold and doesn't just go away but I had this image in my mind that I would just wake up one day and It would be gone. It's hard, but I'm very slowly learning to accept that it's a forever thing.

Thank you again for your support and advice I truly appreciate it

CrashCoyote · ‎24-02-2015

Hi Emma-Lee,

Thank you for your reply.

I am very glad to hear your new strategy is working for you. There is no single "right way" for any of us so if what you are doing now is better for you, that is great.

Of course you are normal (such that it is for many of us, myself included) and you are important and there are people that care about you.

You will find plenty of support on this site and I will always reply to you if you need to talk, as I am sure others will.

Kind regards and very best wishes, John.