Something Isn't Right

[Chris D]

As the title suggests, at this very moment in time on this day at this time like time is still something doesn't feel right. My facial expression that i feel tells me something is wrong, i feel a worried look on my face. I look out my window and into the bright light of the suns rays and i think what is missing, before everything started back in August of last yr i was in a similar life position and i felt gd but now that i have gone through what i have i feel something left me when i got admitted to hospital in August and since then i have been trying to get back what left me.

 Why can't i see the qualities in myself and yet other people can? I see them sometimes but most of the time i'm just so oblivious to them like i'm blinded by everything else that is going on in my life that i some how don't recognise my qualities. Is it because my head is full of other things e.g. peoples names, appointments etc.

I've felt like this for a couple of days now. Have been doing other things to take my mind of it but in the end it all comes back to the same place. It doesn't disappear it just lays dormant for a couple of hours then comes back in a slow and yet powerful way.

Cheers

Chris

[Scott_Depression]

Hi Chris

Sorry you're having a tough time at present.  I suffer depression (at times very bad) and can empathise with you.

I think it's important to keep in mind that what you're describing is a symptom of this horrible disease.  It's just your and my brain don't produce the right chemicals at the right times - that's it in a nutshell!  This is NOT your doing - it's something we have to live with, but seek help and support for.

Are you getting the support you need on both medical and personal levels?  It sounds like you have people telling you that they see the good in you & that's awesome.  Suggest you see your medical professional and let them know what you're going through - got to get those chemicals in balance!

Take care

Scott

[helpmeplease]

Hi Chris,

As Scott just wrote, this is not your doing.

 A lot of us, if not all on here can truly understand and feel for how you are feeling. We don't see the things in ourselves that our friends and loved ones see. Its like we have blindfolds on, and we think how do they see these things when we think "Im not like that all, they mustn't know me etc..", and this feeling is so hard to control and at time it eats away at our inner most selves which is what brings us down.

When people say these things to me, I used to ( some times still do) argue with them over the nice compliments. I even tried to change there minds. But I've found it easier to just let them have there say, and not think about it until I am in a "normal " frame of mind, and then think to myself about what had been said, then on these times I have actually managed to agree with them. which deep, deep down makes me feel good. This is just my personal way of trying to deal with the day to day struggle of life.

hope this helps.

P.S I would love to hear any body else's ways of coping   

[Neil_1]

Hi Chris

"Something isn't right" is a great title ... and would even make a great song title.  Now we just need to find the lyrics, which I believe we could all do a pretty good job at that. Although I feel it wouldn't be an awfully uplifting song ... would need to be done by a heavy metal band or something similar.

Chris, what are your interests and hobbies?  I know you really enjoy music.  But do you have things that you enjoy doing?  Things that could possibly help to occupy yourself and your mind?

And yes, are you seeing a professional in regard to how you're feeling?  While it's "ok" to be feeling this way, I think that it would certainly help immensely if you've got outside professional advice as well.

Seeing your own qualities is a hard thing to do.  What it takes (I feel) is persistence from the people (person) who is telling you this.  Cause for the large part of existence I think we just go along and do the things we do, a bit like a robot and if we do get praise or get told about how nice or good we are, the robot just thinks back, "Does not compute".

Chris, I hope something that I've said either helped you or perhaps even bought a small grin to your face.

Cheers

Neil

[Scott_Depression]

Hi Chris

Just checking back in to see how you're doing?

Hope you're taking care of yourself

Kind regards

Scott

[geoff]

dear Chris, this is what depression finds to be awesome in it,s way of punishing us while in depression, it's like all those little demons dancing in joy because they know they still have control over you, a rather strange analogy.

What Helpme, has said is so true and what does even happen with me, 'I've found it easier to just let them have there say', because there is no point trying to argue with them, as they have their own beliefs, and can't be changed.

An example is that I see an elderly chap every sunday morning, where I take Moo-Moo to play with his two dogs, and take a couple of cheese sticks where we have a coffee.

Unfortunately he had a stroke a couple of years ago, but he is OK and has no trouble talking and he plays golf twice a week, but some of the comments he makes out with are a bit far fetched but there's no point disagreeing with him, because as he says 'he's never wrong', so I accept this and he's happy, so why stir the pot. Geoff.