So yesterday I had some kind of mental snap. Not sure what to do...

[ThisCarl]

Hi all,

So yesterday something within me snapped and I think I had some kind of breakdown. I work 2 jobs (I have to) and my girlfriend and parents have been pestering me to take a break for years. They don't understand that work = money and money = rent. I cant simply stop working for a week as then I won't have somewhere to live.

Anyway, I think this pressure was really getting to me, alongside the constant work lifestyle I have to live. Then, on Wednesday night, my car broke down. I realised I would have to chose between paying to get the car fixed and my electricity bill and I just snapped. I got out of the car and just lost it. My vision blurred and nothing seemed to make sense. I found my self walking one way then 5 secs later walking in the opposite direction. I would get back in the car and try to start it only to leave it again, keys in the ignition. I felt like my brain was fading in and out of consciousness within my concious body.

I rang my parents and girlfriend to say

I needed help and guess what they did? Lectured me about taking a break from work! That sent me into a blind rage of sorts. I managed to get home and sleep but the next day, yesterday, I was still really upset. My parents and GF started lecturing me: "Take a break", "Buy a better car" like I had all the money in the world. I would get incredibly angry at little things. I smashed my phone and laptop, which was incredibly stupid but I just lost control for a second. I would just pace the house endlessly.

I feel a bit better today but still really mucky and not thinking clearly. What can I do???

[TheSteve]

Hi Carl,

It sounds like you have hit a boiling point of sorts, that has been building for some time via a combination of repressed stress (stress you hold inside of yourself, do not acknowledge, and simply bury in the hope it will go away or you will be distracted and not have to deal with it), external pressure (the advice from those who love you, which you don't want to hear and which may anger you, and you've held the anger in all these years), possibly lack of rest (working 2 jobs will do that), and other factors.

Let me tell you: positive AND negative energy doesn't just disappear. It has to go somewhere! We can only hold it in so long, and then it must escape. In the way you have experienced, sometimes it escapes through what we consider a "snap" of sorts (although, inside of you, nothing actually broke - you just hit your capacity in dealing with it and this was its partial release).

Instead of waiting for the next "release", you need to acknowledge that you may have held a lot of things in over the years, you may lead a life that is a bit too draining at present, and you need to slowly acknowledge and release this energy in a healthy manner. Just think of it like letting air out of a balloon, gently, as opposed to pricking it with a pin and causing an explosion. You want to let it out gently and deliberately.

Go and speak with a counselor or behavioural therapist. Get it all off your chest, and do it now. Also, learn some mindful and relaxing breathing techniques. There are breath techniques for everything you need: relaxation, release, energy, calming, stress management etc. You should develop your breath for many reasons, but primarily because it is a healthy way to do it; it is a skill you never forget nor does it leave you; you take it with you everywhere; and it puts you back in control, all the time. It is your refuge, your release valve, your calming device, and your energy pump.

My suggestion is you try to allocate certain days and times during the week for nothing but rest. Just do what you like: exercise, play a video game, watch TV, read a book, hang with friends or family. Make it your time.

Good luck mate, come back and chat anytime.

Steve