Sister struggles with depression/ suicidal ideation

[beezandhoney]

hello this is my first time posting in a forum like this, but I’m just trying to look for some answers.

my older sister is constantly talking about how much she hates her life and how everything in her life gives her a pit in her stomach. like the suicidal ideation is just always lingering in her mind. She talks about how she hates this society and how people function in it, (city life) and I agree with her honestly, but it’s the horrid feeling she’s fighting with everyday and I just feel hopeless, like I don’t know what to do next. 

she mentions how medication messes with her and makes her feel worse so im afraid to suggest she goes back on that again. Years of seeing psychiatrists just isn’t working for her so im not sure what else to suggest. My family and I offer her our support constantly, but it’s not enough, I feel. If there’s anyone out there who knows exactly what my sister is going through and is able to offer some advice/support, that would be very much appreciated. Sorry this got so long haha 

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear beezandhoney,

A very warm and caring welcome to our forums…

I’m so sorry your sister is struggling so much with depression…it’s hard when we love someone a lot and watch them go through feeling so down that SI starts to put its hurtful thoughts into our brain…

Its beautiful that you and your family offer you sister support, and being their for her when she needs you….Please don’t feel hopeless sweetheart, your doing an amazing job of caring for her….and you need to care for yourself and your mental health as well…..maybe if you can, gather your family together to have a chat with her about reaching out to her Dr again concerning her mental health….even if you go with her to her Dr…might help her feel more able to talk to her Dr…..

The biggest problem is, that we can love a person so very deeply, watch them struggle with mental health issues , be their for them with our love, compassion, empathy etc…and start falling apart ourselves,  because that person (your sister) might refuse the help she needs no matter how hard we try, we cannot force the person to reach out for professional help, unless they want to…If you feel your sister may harm herself, please ring the emergency number….

My heart goes out to you beezandhoney….thinking of you with kindness and care..

Grandy..

[StephenP12]

Hey Beezandhoney sorry that it's pretty tricky for you and your sister. Yeah that's difficult with seeing a lot of psychiatrists, not sure what can offer really personally myself. Good GP I spose, but yeah all the best to you and your sister. Hoping things can improve

[therising]

Hi beezandhoney

Your sister's so lucky to have you in her life, someone watching out for her and someone caring enough to investigate a number of ways forward. So glad you came here as a part of your investigation.

If there's one key thing I've learned over the years, when it comes to managing my mental health...it always pays to wonder. A bonus is when we've got people wondering with us, as to why we're feeling or thinking the way we are. Btw, there are some great people on the forums here who will do just that, wonder with people who are struggling or suffering, while occasionally offering some much needed revelations or some way forward. Perhaps planting a seed in your sister's mind in regard to her coming here could be one way to go. It's often a relief to find those who can relate.

While there can possibly be hundreds of different reasons for experiencing rock bottom in a depression, it can feel almost impossible to find all the reasons that relate directly to us. After months or years of trying to find them, it can definitely start to feel hopeless, which really doesn't help matters. Personally, 3 key areas I always wonder about are mind (mental issues), body (physical issues) and what you could call natural issues. Often it can be a combo of all three. Individually, mental issues can involve really brutal inner dialogue which can sound a little like 'You're hopeless. You'll always be broken. What's the point in even being here when this world is a horrible place anyway'. Can also involve depressing beliefs based on stuff like ridiculous social expectations and how we fall short of certain ones. An increase in consciousness of everything that's depressing in this world doesn't help, especially when it becomes the #1 fixed focus. There's no room to be conscious of anything else.

Physical issues can involve chemical imbalances, which is where meds come in. The problem is you gotta know exactly what chemical imbalance is that you need to be treating, otherwise it's a bit of hit and miss. For example, if specialists are specifically treating depression but the chemical imbalance involves sleep apnea (a condition that's known to be incredibly depressing at its worst), the person will remain depressed with no energy. Or if it's a significant thyroid issue, anti depressants won't make much difference. The gut-brain axis is a fascinating area of research in relation to mental health issues, as is research into the vagus nerve. When it comes to chemistry, there's a lot to wonder about.

From a natural perspective, I think we gotta ask (for a start) 'What is my nature?'. Personally, I'm a 'feeler' or a 'sensitive', someone who's sensitive to a lot of what they feel. In some circles this is know as a HSP (Highly Sensitive Person). There are a number of HSPs on the forums here who can relate to the challenges that come with such a nature. Wondering whether your sister can relate. When you can feel/sense the depressing nature of soul destroying inner dialogue, sense the depressing nature of what feels like a soul destroying chemical imbalance (even if you can't pick what the imbalance is specifically), it can be tough going. When you can feel/sense everything that's depressing in this world, other people's words, a soul destroying quest for the right med, being left alone to wonder what's 'wrong' with you, not being able to live with an intolerable or soul destroying way of life, no one being able to help you etc etc, it can get seriously tough. Can take a lot of skill development, support and guidance when it comes to mastering such a nature.