Scared To Ask For Help??

[EllP]

Hi everyone,

I'm wondering if anyone else feels scared to seek help about their depression? I've been feeling pretty awful for a while now and some days I'm sure I am getting worse. I know the go to advise is to seek help from a GP but I'm scared to go because I'm scared of what they will say.

I guess the problem is that I'm worried they will diagnose me with depression, because once I'm diagnosed it will be a real thing and I have to handle it, it's not just my secret that I can hide away until I'm alone in my room or crying in the shower, and then pretend isn't happening tomorrow when the sun comes up. I'm so worried about what might happen if  GP decides I have depression; I don't what to be medicated and even though I am dying to talk to someone about what is going on in my head, no amount of talking is going to fix all the things I'm sad about. 

And then there's the flip side of it. Maybe I won't be diagnosed with anything, and if I don't have anything then why am I the way I am? Some days I'm losing my mind and I'm certain there's something wrong with me, and other days I feel less crazy and I wonder if I'm just hormonal or tired and too lazy to deal with my problems. And then I feel guilty for thinking that way, and I feel guilty writing it now, because it's like I'm hoping I have a mental illness.. and that's not right, is it?

I guess what I'm saying is I'm scared to have it confirmed either way. But I'm also scared of where I might end up if I don't get help. I don't know what to do! 

 I'm really wanting to know if anyone can relate to how I feel and if so, what did you do/are you doing?

[AndrewP]

Hi EIIP, I have not had depression but I have had anxiety. When my anxiety was diagnosed it was a positive thing for me. To know what you have gives you some clarity and closure, you're not left wondering and once you know you can go about making some change in your life.

At the moment it sounds like you're putting more fear around staying the same than you are around changing. Going to the doctor or speaking to someone will be a positive thing. Help is out there.

Don't get too caught up in what's right or wrong, how you think you should or should not be. This is your journey of life and whatever is true to you is fine.

Take the first step and see your GP and then realise it's not as scary as you might think.

Good luck 🙂

[Dennis38]

First off hello EIIP and welcome to the family

Ok now then yeah I can relate fully to being scared to ask for help. For the longest time I figured it was my mind I should have control over it. Well the human mind can only take so much before it snaps, and sure enough mine sent me one hell of a wake up call by taking over and trying to kill myself. Thankfully I stopped myself from doing that and it was such a scary thing that I turned around that night and got help.

So yeah it's very very scary to ask for help but there is no shame nor should you feel guilty about needing help or even simply writing what you have, as there is no need for it.

Now as for the medication part the meds can give you a middle ground to help you sort out what is making you sad and feeling the way you are. You do not have to stay on the meds for the rest of your life if you do not want to so long as you work on the problems that are causing you to feel the way you are. I was on meds for about 6 months before I pulled myself off them. I still have my ups and downs but I know how to handle the downs a lot better then I did before I got help.

Truth be told I wish I was not stuburn and would have gotten help a lot sooner before I tried to off myself. Would have saved myself a lot of misery!!!

Go to your GP have that talk, look him or her straight in the eyes and tell them what is going on. Then you can sort out what is going on with you. And in a way I understand where you are coming from hoping you have a mental illness because then you can sort of blame all the issues on this "mental illness" I did that for a while myself..but that was just an excuse not to face the real issues.

You have some work a head of you but with help you can face your demons and become the person you want to be instead of the person that you are now, which seems to be someone that is very unhappy with the way they are.

This forum is a great place to talk to people to voice concerns and BeyondBlue has a lot of resources to help out along with what your GP says, and if you really want to you can give BeyondBlue a call they have some great people the phones.

Wishing you a better tomorrow and remember if you need to talk we are all family here.

[white knight]

Hi EIIP, welcome here to beyond blue forums

If you need medication to help you along in either your recovery or to aid you in depression for the rest of your life, then other aid like this forum, therapy etc wont take that much effect.

Mental illness , the confronting of it, takes several avenues to treat it. Like- medication, therapy, positive attitude, psychriatric care, changes in your life that include the removal of toxic people, calm home life, financial stability etc. So if and when you really want to tackle your illness consider all of the above.

There are many threads her for you to read. One thread I wrote is called "Depression- a ship on the high seas"  another is "Is there room for stubbornness?"  Use search to seek them and have a read please.

Doing nothing wont cure your depression. Take care

Tony WK

[geoff]

dear EIIP, I'd also like to welcome you to this site, and what you have posted is that your stuck in the middle of knowing or not knowing that you have depression, so one thing you can do is take the K10 test which indicates if you are showing signs of having depression.

At the moment you are worrying like crazy on whether you are or whether you're not, so I believe you need to find out, because firstly this will then stop the worry and will be able to head you in the right direction.

Can I say that nobody wants this illness, why on earth would we, but when we realise that we do have it then we have to do something about it, because if we don't it will only get worse.

You say that you want to talk to someone so this is the catalyst for you to go and see your doctor, because now you believe that you may have depression, but wouldn't it be better to actually know.

So what I would do is go and have a blood test which will say how your vitamen levels are and also get a test for your thyroid.

You seem to be a female from what I can gather, and sorry if I'm wrong, but it's time to kick into gear, but please I really hope you get back to us, but do the K10 test which you can find on the list above or just google it. Geoff.