PostNatal Depression

[KellyEFL]

Hi all,

I have a 9 week old baby and have finally accepted that I’m suffering with post natal depression

Ive had a pretty direct conversation with my husband this morning as it’s having a hugely negative impact on him, our baby and our overall relationship

I was diagnosed this week and have a history of depression and anxiety so hasn’t really come as a shock but I’ve still had trouble accepting it

I don’t want to feel like this and fully acknowledge the illness

I need to take first steps and have a doctors appointment tomorrow where I am going to ask to be medicated, in addition, I have a number to call to make a counselling appointment

Im desperate to fix myself and mend my strained relationship. Terrified of losing my husband

please any tips would be much appreciated

I know it’s not a quick fix but anything that will potentially help I am game to try

[Peppermintbach]

Hi KellyEFL,

You sound understandably stressed, overwhelmed and exhausted. I really feel for you...I imagine adjusting to life with a newborn can’t be easy, even if you love the baby very much. In your case, you have the additional struggle of postnatal depression, so there must be so much weighing you down emotionally and physically...

I really admire all the positive steps you are taking to try to help yourself and your family. Talking to your husband, seeing doctors and exploring the possibility of counseling are all very brave steps...

I admittedly may not be the best person to reply, as I don’t have children, but I still wanted to lend my support in a small way. I hope that’s okay...

While I admittedly don’t know very much about postnatal depression, I have heard that in addition to seeking professional help and support from partners, that it helps to have a broader support network too (e.g. grandparents, friends, aunts, uncles, etc) who can help with childcare, offer emotional support and give parents a break when needed. So I’m wondering if maybe there’s a close friend or someone in your extended family that you could also lean on for additional support and could give you a break from time to time...just a little idea...

I know you’re struggling and hurting. I feel for the pressure that you must be under...

So if it helps to write, ask questions, vent, etc here, please feel free to write away. You can write as much or as little as you like (no pressure either way), but we are here to support you.

Also, just so you know, there are many other forum members here who are parents, and who will be able to offer much better support than me. I really hope someone who is a parent sees this and replies. In the mean time, I’m thinking of you...

Kind and caring thoughts,

Pepper

[Nurse_Jenn]

Hi KellyEFL,

Welcome to the forum. Great to see you reaching out for support and as Pepper above has indicated, you are in a safe place here to talk about what you are going through. As a new mum myself, I definitely understand the difficulty of being a new parent and have seen, first hand, mums in my mothers group with anxiety and depression and it's impact. You have already started your journey towards recovery and I wanted to commend you for taking these brave steps as this is a really big step. With all the sleep deprivation, and adjustments to a new routine (what routine!), new body, new way of working in a relationship.... its hard enough... without having low mood or worry.

One resource I will share with you is a site called PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Australia) https://www.panda.org.au/info-support/after-birth  They also have a support line on 1300 726 306 which is available from 9am - 730pm AEST. Reaching out for support is really important when you are a new parent. If you counselling appointment has a waitlist, I would encourage you to extend your reach to PANDA.

Getting your partner some support may be important as well as it is also very stressful for new dads in this period of fatherhood. I will link a few sites that you might get your partner to have a look at if they are interested. I understand you are wanting to connect back with your partner as a priority and perhaps you could both go to the counselling sessions together for the first few sessions? This way you could take on the journey together (at least at the start) and you would both better able to understand each other.

There is a good page on the Beyond Blue Website for dads that you can find here:https://healthyfamilies.beyondblue.org.au/pregnancy-and-new-parents/dadvice-for-new-dads

Another site that has a few podcast just for new fathers can be found here: https://www.directadvicefordads.com.au/podcast/

These are just a few resources but as Pepper has said, sometimes it is really helpful to reach out on the forum and share your journey, or your stress, with us. We are here and we are listening.

Be kind to yourself as this is a time where many new mums, despite outward appearances, find themselves with a low mood, worry or are so sleep deprived, they don't know which way they are going. When you have a significant experience of a low mood, this can be so much harder.

Wishing you the best possible outcome,

Nurse Jenn

[Lauren35]

Hi KellyEFL,

I 100% understand what you're going through and it sucks, it really sucks. I got back from the Health Nurse today with the news of PND and a letter to take to my GP to get some medication. This is my second baby (plus a step child) and I didn't get any of these feelings with my first baby. I completely empathise with you and how you are feeling at the moment. I don't have any suggestions to help you, just know that you aren't alone and we will get better!

All the best x

[Imamamanow]

Hi kelly, I saw your post is from a month ago but I hope you're still around? I also have postnatal depression and came on here to seek some support. I have an 8month old and am struggling with sleep deprivation whixh isn't helping with the depression! The one thing that's really helping me is going to the gym. It's hard to carve out the time but when I do I notice I feel a lot happier. Sometimes I go just to have a sauna. Or to punch the boxing bag. I've also made a few friends at the gym who are and it's nice to have someone to drink coffee with who understands. And to offer suggestions and ideas.

did u have a boy or a girl? I have a little girl and I love her to bits! I didn't know how difficult the parent gig would be though, or how much stress it would put on my relationship. No one seems to talk about the hard bit of being a parent do they..?!

I'm here if you'd like to talk.

[BastionHope]

Sorry to hear this Kelly, I too was diagnosed (last year) and have just actually hit one year with PND and am still on medication though am feeling much more at ease and have fully accepted my situation. I find writing and journaling can really help to release the shameful thoughts, and help you attain clarity over the overwhelm of complex emotions too.