Not doing well
I am struggling so much today not sure how the day will pan out. On my way to work running late as did not want to get out of bed. Head in a spin and stress levels really high. Sock of feeling so sad and looking at happy people on the train interacting and laughing. So so sad.
The sadness, sense of disconnect from seemingly happy people and overwhelming thoughts comes across in your post. I got this outsider-looking-in feeling from you when you described your sadness at watching laughing strangers.
I think it makes it extra difficult when we feel as though we are struggling yet others seem to be holding up okay. But I think laughter and smiles can hide so many things...maybe those people on the train have their own pain that they're not showing.
The main thing that I wanted to convey is that I hear you and that you're not alone in feeling this way. If you would like to come back and tell us a bit more about yourself (only if you're comfortable doing that), there is much support here.