Dear Meeper
Thank you for writing in and welcome to Beyond Blue. I can relate to your meltdown as this happened to me yesterday and again today. Both times in my doctor's office. Fortunately she is very good and helped heaps.
These sort of episodes leave you feeling completely drained and as far as I am concerned, unable to think straight. It takes several days to get over it, but it does help to have a distraction, such as a birthday celebration. Talking and being with others is really good. When you feel tired, try to have a rest.
Can you explain a little more about your supervisor and what sort of support you expect to receive. Also, are you going to see a doctor because of this incident and who suggested you go? Or is this something that was going to happen anyway?
Do you feel you have a problem of some sort that needs medical help? I'm not sure if I am reading your post correctly. I wonder if you feel you have depression or a similar illness and have been unable to get help. When you say you are in a bad position is this because of the 'meltdown' or something else. Sorry to sound stupid.
If you are working on your mental health I agree it is a huge effort. We take small steps and hardly seem to move. Then someone comments on how much you have moved forward and suddenly you realise how true this is. So try not to be too disheartened.
What is it that you feel you may deserve? Not being cared for? Not being helped? Being overwhelmed with sadness? None of these things are deserved. We all deserve to be helped and lead the best lives we can.
Please write in again and tell us more about yourself.
Mary
