New diagnosis: bipolar

[blackrose87]

Hi all. I have recently got diagnosed with Bipolar. It's a complicated story but to sum it up I am not too sure if the diagnosis is correct. 6 months ago I was hospitalised due to a major manic episode with psychosis ( my first one ever to my experience and understanding of what it is), there they told me I was bipolar.. After spending a few months hospitalised, I fell down into a very deep depression, which I am only starting to get out of since I tried this new anti-psychotic medication. During the depression I went to hospital 2 other times, first because I got extremely anxious, waking up with panic attacks, not able to sit still, crying constantly etc. At the time I was under an anti psychotic and an antimanic. Under those meds I was a total zombi, I wasn't really there, according to people. Then I changed to an anti-depressant, which was very effective for a few years prior to the manic episode. However, I didn't do anything and my depression got so bad I had to leave my job and relocate to a city centre ( I was previously living and working remote for 4 years). I went back to the city and got hospitalised again due to having strong sucidal idealisation ( if I would have stay where I was any longer, even few days, I think I would have commit sucide). At that point I was feeling totally numb... even food tasted num... Anyway, at the hospital the psychiatrist there told me I am not bipolar and my main problem is depression. We changed the medication, which I am still taking. I have been under it for a few months now. It did help a little bit but did get me out of the severe depression. Anyway, recently went to see a new psychiatrist for ADD problems that I am suspecting and got out with a bipolar diagnosis and two other medications to take. One anti psychotic and a mood stabiliser. I started to take the antipsychotic which I found is helpful, but I am reluctant to take the mood stabiliser. I am not certain that I am bipolar due to the fact that I don't know if I have experienced previously manic episodes. I mean, when things are very good and I am happy, I am very happy and excited but I don't think it is to the point to become manic. I do experience emotions quite intensely and have always been told that I am very sensitive. Any thoughts? Suggestions? To help me out figure out if it is a true diagnosis or if it might just be depression? Thanks

[blondguy]

Hello blackrose

Welcome to the forums and thankyou for reaching out too!

Im sorry for the mega delay in you getting a response...we are usually quicker in responding..

Im going to ask a friend of mine on the forums that has the knowledge re Bi-Polar so you can have the support you need.

Please hang in there while I try

Paul

[Airies]

Hi there Blackrose,

about a year ago I was diagnosed Type 1 bipolar and at the time was on pretty heavy meds and hospitalised for a number of months due to major depression and mania. I was pretty bombed out and zombie like as well. I've had numerous hospital admissions since then related to my cries for help at the time,the last being 6 months ago. I've had a few changes in meds since my initial diagnosis and other treatments which are helping. I have been told I'm pretty emotional and oversentive to stuff which is true. I've seen a few psychs for the right fit I guess and regard being bipolar as a label along with my depression and previously ADD. The important thing is in time with the right meds, psych no other treatments if need be you can turn the corner. I'm still early in my recovery, take my meds as I have too, and know that in time with counselling I could possibly be off then for good but somehow I doubt it. There's a wealth of info here re bi polar and threads relating to this.

I wish you all the best in your journey.You will find all here, helpful, non judgemental and I guess subject matter experts given that we all have experienced a similar journey,,

cheers Len

[wantalife]

Hi Blackrose

There are many things I'd like to ask you but need to be cautious as am not registered on this site to provide clinical advice.

What does stand out is ADD and medication if is or has been prescribed. Theoretically if stimulus based could well be cause of Hyper Mania states and an underlying catalyst to the position you've found yourself in.

Mood stabilizers pretty much provide in method of action inhibit the release of certain chemicals (D) not going to expand on this but do provide an important role of stability if it's been knocked out of wack. , Neurologically is just release and re-uptake of specific chemicals.

Like a pendulum however finding a balance without restriction toward a natural high such as enjoying the sunshine, talking with friends is possible (In My Opinion) can be effected.

My Doc seems to back research that within a spectrum shows more down time than up but the guilt post a manic episode when on a low is pretty friken ordinary state to be at.

It is your right to seek opinion from more than one professional within this field and this I highly recommend. We are all human, not always correct and in simple terms ... if at present it's not working for you or so frustrating self harm has entered the picture. "Get yourself further professional help and assistance"

In the mean time just make note many... specifically on this site have traveled roads within a similar nature and we all stick together. Blackrose your not alone, we all stick together....

[Cornstarch]

It's no wonder you are confused. You have had different diagnoses from different doctors.

No-one can offer you a diagnosis on this forum, but I can acknowledge your frustration and encourage you to be the expert in your own health. Make sure you steer the ship and if you can keep records of your symptoms across time.

Misdiagnosis is extremely common. Some people can have one or two psychotic episodes in their life and never have one again. There is so much cross over. I met a women recently who's sister has severe depression and on the odd occasion she has been under immense stress she has experienced 'psychotic symptoms'. Once she made extreme permanent adjustments to work and lifestyle to eliminate as much stress as possible, they disappeared.

Like all of us you are a 'soup of symptoms', and the power differential between patient and doctor can be inhibitive at times. I would encourage you to find a health professional that you can really open up to about your life. I'm always quite gobsmacked when I learn what people hide. That they are more comfortable receiving a serious diagnosis, than they are to reveal so called 'weakness' in themselves, their marriages, their upbringing, their relationships, their parents, their life. It really shocks me what is left out through omission to save face, and keep their reputation in tact, maybe it's the easier option.

Depending on where you live and what insurance or financial backing you have, there are clinics where you can present and have your case reviewed by a team of experts when treatment is not working. I spoke to some people recently who were on the depressive scale, that had utilised one of these because in the last approximately 3 years they had tried 15 different anti-depressants and nothing was working.

Maybe do some Googling in your state/territory.

Good luck.