My severely depressed daughter refuses to go to school. What now?

AD_Grace · ‎29-10-2016

Hello. My 12 year old daughter has been battling depression for almost 2 years now. She is seeing a counsellor but it doesnt seem to help. It justt keeps getting worse. She spends every day lovked up in her room. Never goes out with friends or anything anymore. She is even refusing to go to school! She used to love going to school but now not so much... What should I do? I dont want to force her to go so I was thinking maybe homeschool but what if she refuses to ddo the work? She was such a smart girl, I hate to see her go through this. Thanks, Grace

AD_Grace · ‎29-10-2016

AD_Grace said:
Hello. My 12 year old daughter has been battling depression for almost 2 years now. She is seeing a counsellor but it doesnt seem to help. It justt keeps getting worse. She spends every day lovked up in her room. Never goes out with friends or anything anymore. She is even refusing to go to school! She used to love going to school but now not so much... What should I do? I dont want to force her to go so I was thinking maybe homeschool but what if she refuses to ddo the work? She was such a smart girl, I hate to see her go through this. Thanks, Grace

Also, I am thinking maybe I should ask about anti-depressants as nothing else seems to work, advice?

Zeal · ‎29-10-2016

Hi Grace,

Welcome to the forum!

I'm sorry to hear that your 12 year old daughter has been battling depression, and that her mental health is worsening. Counselling can be beneficial, but seeing as this counsellor does not seem to be helping, finding other professional assistance is wise. How long has your daughter been seeing the counsellor? Going to your family doctor (GP) is recommended, as he/she can create a mental healthcare plan and refer your daughter to a suitable mental health professional, likely a psychologist.

Letting your daughter know that you are always here to talk whenever she needs is a simple way to show your support. Unfortunately, she is likely to refuse or not engage with emotional support because of the severity of her depression. She is very lucky to have such a supportive Mum though 🙂

I'd like to refer you to some useful online resources. As your daughter is quite young and probably already overwhelmed by schoolwork (when she has been attending school), I feel that looking through the online modules yourself would be a good idea. This way, you'll understand the nature of depression even more. Here is the link: http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=37

I hope your GP can refer your daughter to a great professional 🙂

Best wishes,

Zeal

SubduedBlues · ‎29-10-2016

Hi Grace

I concur with Zeal, you need to seek professional assistance, particularly if your daughter is refusing to speak with you about the problem.

Before choosing to homeschool, I think you need to determine if there is a problem at her current school that is making her not want to go. Is she avoiding someone (one or many people). Also are there alternative schooling options in your area? (e.g. move from a co-ed school to a segregated school; or vice-versa).

If homeschool is you only alternative, you can find support and guidance by Googling 'home school australia'. There are a lot of sites, but I suggest you start with the formal educational institutes (denoted by the .edu.au domain)

Keep posting and asking questions, so we can guide you in the right direction for what you need.
Anthony

MsPurple · ‎29-10-2016

Hi AD_Grace

I am 25 years old and don't have kids, so I can not give a parents persecptive advice. When I was 12 I had some signs of OCD and my parents forced me to see a psychiatrist and tried to get me to talk to him. I was only told I had a problem last minute and saw the dr two minutes later. It wasn't the best way around it. I known when I saw my psychiatrist (who tried to be my counsellor too) I didn't connect with him. He did this weird eyebrow thing that made me feel uncomfortable (also bad for my ocd). I also told him something in confidence about my step mum at the time and he told all my parents in front of me. It was obvious who it was about. (remember confidentiality for under 16 is different than for adults). That was it for me. The trust was broken and I refused to talk to him about anything. What the point of this story is does your daughter feel like she can talk to them without them telling you? Does she connect with the counsellor? Because many people don't find someone the first time. I know I didn't. I also found I have connected better with younger counsellors, I know a lot of younger people do. Have you considered using the service called 'headspace'? They are really great with young people. They helped me heaps.

Hope this helps and good luck