Mum with depression..how do other mums cope?

[BB89]

Hi, I'm a mum to two gorgeous boys 4(almost 5) and 2 and I have depression. I have my good and bad days. It can be so hard to cope with everyday things. Having depression makes me not have as much patience as I use to have I used to be so calm and happy. Now I'm on edge all the time and find it hard to relax. Every few months I reach my limit and break down into tears then I pick myself up again. 

I just wish I didn't have depression so I could be a happy fun mum.

anyone else have a similar story?

[geoff]

dear BB, hi and yes when our two sons were young my then wife was suffering from PND, so from a male's point of view it must have been torture for her, but also for for our kids.

My wife (ex) wouldn't have any counselling, nor would she take any medication, but the curious part to this was that she wanted us to go into a family pub that was being purchased, but I never wanted to but she convinced me, and that's where all the problems started, not only for her, the kids, but for me as well, and now we are divorced.

Her PND wasn't what made us get divorced, as it's more complicated than that.

I don't know whether you are still married, so I can't comment on this, but I realise that with any depression there does become a limit point where everything becomes too much to handle, because children at this age don't understand what is going on and will demand attention or something to eat or watch on TV, but by feeling that you are being pulled in all directions is where it all becomes too much.

Does the 5 year old child have friends he can go and play with just to give you a breather, as the 2 year old would be too young to do this, but if you only have one to look after for the day, then this may allow you to get some rest.

[Cherpieus]

Hi BB89's

I had twins and got PND. I got no enjoyment out my children for the first 2 years. Everything was an effort.

I started taking medication when they were 1 and I stopped breast feeding. This helped, along with some counselling. I went back to work a couple of days a week when they were 2 and that surprisingly helped. 

Do you have a supportive partner?  I was married at the time and my husband did not understand me. He did help with the kids though so that was helpful. 

Every year I found things to get better in terms of looking after the kids. My depression got under control from when they were 2 til about 5 years old. It then began to come back - not PND but general depression. By this stage though I coped much better with the kids and still do. 

I'm now divorced, remarried and my twins are 15. I had a wonderful period with having to struggle too much with depression and consistently took medication to keep it at bay. Now however it has returned with a vengeance. At the age of 12 I sat my children down and explained depression to them and told them I had it. It was a very hard thing to do but I'm glad I did.

My one piece of advice would be to be kind to yourself and set achievable goals on a daily basis.