Many years of depression, but it does not rule me

[Ashmad]

I have suffered depression for many years (8yrs). I have been to the lowest point you can go and have come back from it. I view my illness now as the equivalent of diabetes  there is no cure, but I have learned to live and manage it.  It does not rule me  I rule it.  The thoughts are just that.  It had taken me many year and countless hours of treatment and a few hospital admission to come to this conclusion, finally I have.  There is hope and light at the end of the tunnel.  I hope someone reads this that has no hope, but believe me there is.  I tried to harm myself  thank god I did not take. I am now working On myself every day and believe there is a better world out there. My goal in life now is to help people in need and to explains experience.  Life is worth living and enjoying 

[geoff]

dear Ashmad, I want to thank you so much for posting your comment, because there are people going through their worst time of their lives suffering from depression or any associated illness that is related to this insidious disease, and can't believe that there is light at the end of this tunnel.

It maybe not the full light, but there will be some light to encourage them to proceed on, and this will give them an opportunity to have hope.

After years of having depression and to be able to come out the other end needs to be told so that people can understand and accept that once we have depression it really doesn't leave us but as Ashmad has said, ' It does not rule me  I rule it', and that's important to understand this. Geoff.

[White_Rose]

Dear Ashmad

Like Geoff I also thank you for your affirmation. I have just written on another post the following comment.

I am a member of a meditation group that meets weekly and we also get together once a month to have discussions. It is amazing where these discussions take us. One thing we are all agreed on is that it is the journey that matters, not the destination.

I believe this absolutely applies to depression. Many people will experience some form of depression all their lives for whatever reason. But if we journey with hope, courage and love we will be able to smell the roses, admire the view and enjoy our time.

Depression is not the only thing that stops people living what is called a fulfilled life. We can have that life as long as we recognise we will have bad or sad days but that we can manage them and carry on.  I am finally learning to let go of the hurts and the self-reproaches and focus on being joyful. No it doesn't work all the time, but I am still learning.

Like you, I am a work in progress, and that's how I will probably remain. But I can see myself growing and changing. Yes I still kick and scream at the necessity of this work. It is hard and it hurts at times. And I want to give up, hide in my old ways and claim I cannot do any more because I'm not good enough. Then I get up and move on and invariably find I was just on the brink of another level of life and love.

Mary

[Ashmad]

Hi Mary.

thanks for your post  keep strong hold your head up high and take each day at a time. Some days will be harder than others, just remember to try and find one thing in the day that might make you feel a little better even if it is only the aroma of coffee being made it only has to something little each day  

[geoff]

dear Mary, I have re-read your reply to Ashmad and felt sorry for you, because during our life we all travel through so many levels of life, some we may want and definitely some we never wished we had to, but the roll of the dice normally begins and sometimes we never have a choice, so we wake up every morning and wonder what is going to happen this day, but it may not prepare us for what's around the corner.

Your role on this site has been more than invaluable and you have helped so many people which we all thank you.

Take care. L Geoff. x