ls it healthier to work and live while having depression , or is there a centerlink disability pension, and if so , which is healthier ?

[Guest_1584]

Hey people .

l've met people on all kinds of Centerlink disability things over the yrs but can you get onto something due to depression ?

But then as in the title , maybe it's actually healthier for you to actually be out there in life and working and functioning ? - bloody hate that word but it's the only description l could think of . So what does everyone do , and which do they find is better ?

At one stage through a really bad patch l just didn't feel l could work or cope. So l asked Centerlink they told me l'd have to see the gp , get referrals ,go and get assessments and all kinds of other things can't remember exact details , but it was a nightmare l'd worry that l'd spend wks or mths putting myself through and then maybe get nothing anyway. But ok l'll just start with the gp and see where that goes first. And they told me it could get me 3mths , what, 3mths, but then l'd have to do it all again to get an extension or another 3mths and then again , and again , or some rubbish can't remember the exact details but it sounded far worse than the alternative and just struggling on to me.

Well, what a useless stressing , draining effort that was , here's a grown man in the mess l was in felt like l just couldn't even go on let alone cope or do real life , work , pressures buttt, saw a gp yet all he said was l'll give you a certificate for 2 days off . Two days, wt - to keep it polite here, 2 days l needed 2 wks just from the stress of dealing with him that once , without adding in my real problems. He wouldn't even give me a referral for the next step. Acted like there was nothin wrong with me meanwhile l'm wondering if l wanted to go on l mean that's the state l was in.

Centerlink also wanted me to enroll with a job agency and so here l was having to tell some 19yr old girl with a button and computer and the power to send me packing with no damn clue how  l was or living , threatening to stop any payment if l didn't jump through their hoops too in the meantime, it was insanity .And all that took about 2 wks of stress driving sitting round waiting and explaining myself over and over and what little money l had at the time on petrol , it was a nightmare and left me in worse shape than l started.

rx

[Guest_1584]

Hi Geoff and thanks for the thoughts.

Yeah l actually know quite a bit about the farmers round here bc the place we bought was divided from a farm and over time l'd heard so much of the whole history of the area from neighbors and stuff. This place was 2hrs from here but this guys era would've been around the same periods and man , hell yeah , they worked like we couldn't imagine these days and l could see it anyway all over his property. lt was a gorgeous place now but it would've been bare bush and rock back in his day. 20yrs on you eh , 30 on me so l feel pretty silly now with my thoughts and situation, meeting him.

l'm sorry though that things have gone downhill for you l suppose that's everywhere to we can't all be blessed with long jeopardy like his. For me it's more the mentally coping side of things is the problem , after everything else.l don't know if l'll rebound from that or for how long if l do or if forcing it might do more harm. l an trying to figure it out and find ways around the harder stressful sides of it though

Thanks Geoff. and all the best. rx

[geoff]

Hello RX, thanks for getting back to me.

One thing to know is you can force yourself to rebound but only in one particular situation, it doesn't prepare you to be able to cope with everyday life, for example, if you say to yourself, yes, I'll help this chap out on his farm, it might allow you a couple of hours, but what happens if this time is extended, something you certainly don't want to happen, then you might begin to crumble and start falling apart, this is no fault of yours, you need to credit yourself for being able to help him for a couple of hours.

This maybe better than a few months ago, where all you wanted to do is sleep, overcoming this illness won't and can not be rectified in a single day, but it is possible to begin this one day at a time.

Take care.

Geoff,

[Guest_1584]

Hi again Geoff and nah thank you mate, your help and thoughts experience around the forum is so appreciated and helpful.

lt's weird how things go l never would've dreamed even a yr or two back l'd be feeling like this with work. lt was my savior really l'd even thought l'll be happy to work yrs yet had my system and it al actually help me if anything. And one part of it l loved was taking off across state any which way to pick up jobs but strangely now that's the one part l don't wanna do any more. l could just have them picked up but it's bite into profit margin so much can't bring myself to do it same with taking on a casual. l've found a way of cutting the travel part back about 60% though so that's a big start.

l know what you mean though reserves are physically n mentally so low that if we have to force things past that yeah , it only bites later, last yr took soooo much , on top of crazy corona my daughter was going through a lot , my gf' was going through a lot , just feel drained now on top of the last 7 8 yrs.

My gf reckons l should just go on with my job it's got great perks and hrs and l'm my own boss answer to no one, l dunno , she is right though def in those ways. Scanning for other things but going into something else and the scanning is so unsettling and taking up other needed energy reserves so damned if l do or don't.

rx

[Guest_1584]

Funny geoff here's one for ya.

The guy here we use to get to fix our computers works at home in this little shed out the back. You could imagine , full of computers wall to wall there's usually 5 or 10 screens on running all over the place where he'll be installing things on all of them all at once and other computers opened up with all the nasty bits all over the benches .

He's 75ish l'd say and been a pc tech 40yrs. l'd think how could his mind cope with all those numbers and programs 40yrs and doing 5 or 10 computers at once day in day out. l'd be insane long long ago. He was telling my anddd , he goes down to melbourne and even up to sydney 2 or 3 times a mth for parts and different computers and supplies. l've passed him on the road 6 or 7 at night on his way back , his sw jammed full of computers to the roof in the back .

Amazing isn't it. Gf's son is a programmer only 29 but the toll on his health has been huge he's got all sorts of of problems and he wants to get out of it,

rx

[Guest_1584]

Had to pick up another job yesterday it wasn't that far about 100k ea way but a 9hr day and pretty stressful.

l know l've said but it's just strange the way one of my fav parts of my job has turned into dread and anxiety but l just suddenly feel past it , as if l can't do it anymore. A few have talked about the toll of this last rona yr and for me added to that have been the stresses of what my d's been going through plus my gf's hassles , maybe it's just temporary and from the whole deal , l can't tell, that's a lot of stresses but l just feel past it atm , worse , as if l can't do it anymore , and l def right now couldn't see it into next yr or later..l've only got one more trip to do thurs if l'm upto it or else l could put that off until next wk , we see but then that'll be all then for 6mths or more, so l'll see how l feel just being back on the job at home without all that.

l use to also deliver some jobs bc l enjoyed that too although that was also stressful too but l've for starters now completely done away delivering this yr and that should make a huge difference alone. lf l can't get on to some centerlink thing or go through what it'll take which l can't then going on yesterday l might have to take a profit margin hit and do away with picking jobs up too but that could be one way of keeping on with things unless my mojo just naturally returns once everything from this last yrs blown over.

l dunno , just thoughts. l talk about these amazing people l meet but meanwhile l dunno how l'll get through another yr tbh

rx

[Guest_1584]

Finished the second trip today , it was a bit how it use to be even though l was tired as hell/. Nice area though and l really enjoyed going back over there again. At anyrate probably won't be any more trips for 6mths or so now so l can hopefully get my bearings about everything for awhile now and take it from there.

rx

[Lillylane]

Hi RX,

Thanks for starting this thread. It’s been really interesting reading through people’s experiences.

I started a new job this week that came up quite out of the blue.

Honestly, I’m struggling... Have felt like crying at times. But I guess I have to push through that and keep going.

I prefer to work than not work. I just don’t know if I’m in the right area/industry or not. Most people seem settled in their jobs by my age (early forties). But I have the worst case of imposter syndrome ever. Have had time away having kids and now that they’re at school I’m hoping I can sort myself out this year.

I need to vent I guess. Thank you for listening.

Lillylane

[Guest_1584]

Hi lillianna thx for that , and come here and vent away anytime ok , it's all helpful.

lt's nerve racking as hell starting a new job l know , well l remember from the days way back when. Hope you settle in ok , give it time hey . At least your through the hardest part , that first day.

But yeah what your actually doing is a huge part of it to l reckon but depends on what we need in a job. For example the old farmer l met obviously loved what he did , and it showed all over the property as l drove in . For me what l do l wouldn't say is my dream job but it does combine a lot of things l really enjoy if l must work and that are important to me now , none the less though , and that really really helps for sure. Only today l just started on the work side of things with the latest and first job for the yr, l work at home . And it was funny l was thinking about the thread and what it's about on and off and as l first went out and started doing a bit, l really just felt like going back to bed tbh. lt felt daunting , and with the way l've been feeling l just didn't know this morning if l could even start it let alone get through it , it'll be about a 6wk job give or take. But by this afternoon l was actually enjoying work again , the way l usually would've up until this last 6mths and by tonight l was actually looking forward getting stuck into it from here and exited about the design and layout , even looking forward to doing more on a start with it tomorrow now.

But at the same time though l was also feeling tired and well aware that l dunno how long l'd be able to keep doing it for , l'll have to this yr but unless my spirits pick up l wouldn't be too sure about getting through the next or on from there mentally.

We all need and get different things from our work though and it might not matter to you from here that your not doing your dream job. maybe it's the social outlet , out of house outlet, money, the hours , the feeling , who knows for each person . But if it gives you some or most or what you need from a job , personally l think that's all that matters unless a person has a burning need to do or get into this or that l don't myself these days l've done those , now l just need something that gives me what's important to me these days.

Good luck anyway eh , hope you start enjoying things .

rx

[Guest_1584]

Well , about a mth into this new yr back now for me. Unfortunately the first few wks in panned out way more stressful and far more work than it'd usually be and the way l'd normally start a new yr it was a bit of a bumpy one. So bc of the way l've been feeling it took about 6mths out of me already and l'd only just begun. But anyway it's settled down and l'm all organized now and finally into my usual kinda back at home work routine thk God.

So this last wk or so have been back to riding on the beginning of the new jobs wave which is my fav part it's a really nice part of the work and l still get a kick out of it , few wks in though and you've gotta start knuckling down then and that's the next part l know l'll be really feeling , am already at the thought.

Been working it out though and if l don't go the doctors and centerlink thing, the worst of the two evils for me , then l'd have to keep this going another 3 or 4 yrs yet unless a box full of money falls outa the sky, probably not too likely eh. But then something coming through should put me into a position then to just be able to stop and not work if l still wanted to, and tie me over until l could get the pension later on .

Sooooo, it looks like best case l keep at it for awhile yet.The only other way l can come up with is l've got a cabin on an ac , don't own my house here but the cabins payed off and rented out. Property prices have spiked up here though with all the carona stuff , could sell at a pretty good price right now , and live of that. Not sure if that's a good move though. lt doesn't rent out for much, 8k a yr it's only tiny but it's free and clear and part of my income and helps a lot. So yeah alternatively if l sold it , l lose that 8k py forever and that'd come in really handy later when l do stop working- and l'd still own the property .

Tough call , so it's either work another 3 or 4 yrs and keep that or alternatively sell it . l'd sorta like to keep it though, and the income instead.

A box of money out of the sky would be so much easier than all this.

rx

[Lillylane]

Hi RX

Thanks for your kind words. It does help to vent.

I’m glad there are still aspects of your job you enjoy. I know what you mean though about feeling daunted and tired at times.

It’s understandable to be disappointed with the money not coming through as you’d expected. I hope you’re doing ok.

I survived my first week of the new job and I’m trying to keep my mind in a good space to push through the fear and just keep trying.

I kind of wish I’d had this job 10 years ago when my circumstances were a bit different.

Life really throws some curve balls doesn’t it.

Lillylane.