justifying to yourself when your down

[deprees8]

hi all

this probably has been written before but how does anybody justify to themselves that although shit does happen in your life you will get through it.

i know that writing down the problem seems to help but how can i tell it to shut up. i have only just recently gotten back on anti depressants and i have gotten out of my shell so to speak but how can i justify to my self that although i know that others are different and its ok that rejection happens and although the other person is probably like i was before. how do you cope in situations like this. i am starting to feel as if i dont fit into any 'category'. any tips would be grateful and i hope to continue on here and hopefully see me here more.

Thanks and sorry if this has already been answered before to lazy to find it 🙂

[White_Rose]

Hello Deprees8

Good to meet you. I hope I can help.

It seems to me that you are comparing yourself to others. You know we are all different in our various approaches to depression and healing but you are looking at how well others appear to manage. Please excuse me if I am incorrect.

Getting tips from others is a good way to start your journey. On the way you will find ways that suit your particular circumstances no matter how similar the circumstances are to someone else. You got it right in saying " i know that others are different". There are really no 'categories'. At least that's what I believe, other than very broad and general groupings such as these people are depressed. Within that there is a vast difference between everyone. I think that's one of the reasons we find it hard to try a path which has been successfully trodden by someone else.

It's a good start however and as you travel you will find byways that suit you better, where the view is so much clearer and comfort and hope start to appear. That's when you know you are on the right track for yourself and will reach your goal. However you need to know how to start.

I see you have restarted taking antidepressants (AD). Does this mean you see a counsellor of some sort? If so I would hope they will help you to start. My GP was and still is great for me. Tips on how to manage destructive beliefs, assurance that it's OK to be angry in some situations, discussions on how not to jump to conclusions and react immediately. This last has always been my biggest downfall. It may be none of these apply to you.

With the reaction problem I learned how to wait until I could examine the situation reasonably clearly. I had to reassure myself that the anger or pain etc would go away and remind myself of times when this has happened and how long it took. At first it was days but this time gradually reduced. Then I could start to look at my assumptions and test if they were real or coming from the black dog. For me it was not trying to figure out something about the other person, if they were feeling upset or any thing else. It was solely about me taking time to recover, get my breath back and know I could manage.

Does this make any sense to you? I put an activity list on my fridge door to refer to. I know I cannot think of a distraction when highly distressed. I can remember to look at the list and do something, anything other than read a book or watch TV, it doesn't work for me. Out of word allowance.

Mary

[Matches]

Hi deprees8,

It’s good that you have recognised the signs of depression and are back on your meds.

You mention rejection and it sounds like you are feeling a bit hurt by someone, which may be impacting on your depression. Perhaps seeking some counselling may help.

You don’t fit into a category, and why should you? you are entirely UNIQUE, although your symptoms may be common, we are not you, but we know your feelings.

Techniques for dealing with depression that works for me include recognising that our mental health doesn’t occur in isolation from our body or environment, we are a Biopsychosocial system. I have what I call my ‘mental health tool kit’, it involves recognising 3 simple things I can do every day, although these things may seem trivial, I encourage you to give it a go. Here is an example of things that work for me:
Biologically – walking, drinking extra water, getting a few minutes in the sun.
Psychologically – turn negative self-talk into positives, “I can learn from past relationships and use it to improve future relationships”
Socially – find an old friend to reconnect with, talk to a stranger.
Although these things seem trivial, it is much better than doing nothing and helps break the repetitive cycle of hopelessness and negativity.

Please keep in touch.

Matches.