Just frustrated.

[cgp_bs]

Hey everyone.

Not a first time poster as I originally had made a post a couple of months ago but forgot my login details and which email was associated with it, so I decided to create another account, instead.

Wanting to get a bit of advice and a vent about my current experience.
I feel frustrated yet anxious all the time. I had a pretty shit day today where I needed to get a set of keys cut and couldn't have the guts to approach the gentleman at the counter... I then moved to another cutting place and realised they were on lunch for another hour. I had already been sitting around for an hour and a half, at my local shopping centre.
I walked to my car after an unsuccessful trip in sheer defeat, anger and frustration at myself... I punched my car door. I don't know why I did that. I've never done that before... and I feel like an idiot for doing it.

I've already reached out to my GP for a mental health plan and are in the works of getting my sessions up and running but it's turning out that the waiting time is well over a month and a half. It's been not even a week and I can't stand this... I feel like everyday is pointless and I'm beginning to feel more and more depressed everyday.
When I approached my GP originally, she very much came across like this wasn't an issue and just needed to see a psych... I feel like my situation isn't as important as others and though I'm sure many need it more than I, I can't help but feel frustrated at myself.

I don't know what I can do to seek further help that isn't just going back to the same GP and telling them issues they already know and can't exactly speed up the process...
What happens if this psych doesn't gel well with me? Especially after the last 5, I'm worried... and waiting nearly 2 months to even speak to this person is already a big struggle.

I don't know what to do.
I'm frustrated.

Does anyone know what are some extra steps I can try?
I've been to many psychs and CBT is a struggle to keep up with.
I've been incredibly arrogant about things like meditation (which I know isn't helpful but I can't help it).

I just want to know if I had other options that can help while I wait these 2 months...
It's scary, I've never thought about suicidal plans or anything but it's been scary even having the thought of death pop up in my brain... I'm scared to tell my partner this...

Thank you in advance for anyone even reading this.

[Guest_206]

Hi cgp_bs, I can hear your pain, frustration and worry in your post. It really sux that you have to wait nearly 2 months to see a psyc and then like you say, trust that you are going to gel with them.
If you've often tried CBT and struggle with it, I wonder if you've ever tried ACT?
Also, you have mentioned how it's been scary having the thought of death pop up - I agree, it is scary. But it's good to talk about if you're having those thoughts, and I'm wondering if you've tried calling lifeline etc before or using their Webchat?

[cgp_bs]

Thank you for the swift reply!

I've never heard of ACT?
I've never called lifeline or any of those types of help lines. I guess that uncertainty if this would be defined as "urgent" or not got into my head and just hoped with time and getting out of the house to get some sun might make me feel better.
... but it doesn't.

[Ggrand]

Dearest cgp....

Welcome back to the forums...

About 2-3 years ago, I drove to town and was going to order a coffee and sit at the outside chairs and drink it....A very easy task for those not struggling with mh....I couldn’t even get out of my car to cross the road...I sat their very sad and upset because I couldn’t do it due to anxiety...I can now do that....Give yourself time and some gentle care for yourself when you find your anxiety makes it hard to do....

I had a few different psychologists before I found one that is helping me...anxiety makes us think ahead of time making up all these scenarios..and causing undue worry about things like..what if I don’t “gel” with them....When the time of the appointment arrives..is when you will find out the answer to your question....Hopefully your new psychologist will be the one....

I think that’s it’s important for you to sit down and talk about how your mental health is effecting you with your partner...That way your partner would be able to offer you some support until your and even after your psychologist appointment....

We have a great thread on the forums about mindfulness.. which many members have posted in.,.its a really good and helpful thread that has some good points on mindfulness and how it can help....search in the search bar top right hand corner of this page..”Mindfulness.What is it”...your very welcome to post and ask questions..or just join in the conversation....

Talk here anytime you feel up to it...We are here to help support you the best we can....

My kindest and most caring thoughts..

Grandy...

[Guest_206]

Hi there cgp_bs,

Yeah, I'm checking out the forums right now cause this is my most vulnerable time of day... And it helps me to know that there are other people who are also struggling right now...

I get what you mean about not feeling urgent enough for lifeline, but you are worth it, and that is exactly why they are there. I also agree with Grandy that it sounds like a good idea to open up to your partner and let them know what you would like from them. Often they really want to help but don't know what to do.

ACT stands for Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. It's just another kind of therapy - you might be able to find some clips on you tube?

[cgp_bs]

Hi Grandy,
Thank you for all the lovely suggestions. I'm glad you began to feel a lot of progression with your anxiety. It's crazy that I work retail yet when I'm there, it's like I become a whole different person. I hate that person. Yet when I come home and be me, I hate that person even more...

I feel as though I tend to spend my time keeping positive, motivated and provide self-care but then once I feel progression happens, it falls right back down and I feel like I'm back to square one.
I've had an okay week and only just yesterday did it hit me yet again like a tonne of bricks.

I do understand that it is important to speak to my partner about these issues. It stresses me out to speak about myself and I tend to fall into a defeated mindset whenever the conversation comes up. It has multiple times, already. I guess I just don't know what to say to her besides what has already been said or vent about things I know she has no control over.

But I will have a look at the forums soon. I will try my best to sit down with them with an open mind and learn.

-------------------------------

Hey again Guest_206,

Thank you for clarifying what ACT is. I did some googling and didn't come across this (though it was a pretty vague Google search lol). I will have to read into it a bit more and scope some YouTube videos. Anything is better than nothing, right now.