Just another sad story.

[Moogen]

I'm 24 years old and was diagnosed with depression about 3 years ago after getting really drunk at a friend's 21st, getting upset about a boy, crying in the bathroom, and hurting myself. I am on medication and have seen a handful of psychologists and councillors over the years.

I'm currently living with my sister and a friend. My sister struggles with terrible anxiety, to the point where she cannot get out of bed some days. My friend I live with also has bad anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder and is grieving from her Mother who committed suicide 3 years ago. It is very hard for me to help them when sometimes don't know how to help myself. My mother was diagnosed with Bipolar about 2 years ago after being exposed by another family member with evidence that she had stolen money from my grandmother's bank account. My immediate family and I were all in denial about my Mother's issues for years. My father was miserable in his marriage with her and was having an on-and-off affair since I was 14. My parents only separated 2 years ago. My mother has lost everyone in her life except for my sisters and I. She used to speak to her mother every day and now she's lost her forever. I feel like it has been so difficult because even now still, 2 years later, we have not gotten help for my Mother, and she is too stubborn to listen to me or my two sisters.

I know that I need to focus on myself but I find it so difficult with all these people in my life struggling around me. I am currently not speaking to a psychologist or anything. When I feel sad I spend money and treat myself, even though I can't afford it. I'm already in debt and I just can't get on top of it. I seem to always look for quick fixes because I don't focus on the consequences. I don't care enough for myself. My anxiety has stopped me from getting my drivers licence too, I can't get myself to study for the test because I've built it up in my head so much. I don't know why, I feel really stupid for doing things like that. I feel like other people judge me or look down on me.

I don't know what I expect writing on this forum but I guess I thought it would be a good idea to try it. I guess it feels good reading other people's stories and realising that I am not alone and that other people can relate. I hope someone out there can relate to me.

[blondguy]

Hello Moogen and Welcome to the Beyond Blue Community

You really are surrounded by people that are also going through dark places and as you mentioned it would be very difficult to heal as a result. I have had anxiety/depression for 25 years and I understand where you are coming from.

Well done to be on medication as we all need a platform that we can heal/help ourselves on. You are self aware and an intelligent person Moogen. I see that you have seen some doctors and therapists too...another big step forward to enable yourself to heal.

If I may ask you....when is the last time you have seen your GP/Therapist? You also may qualify for the 6 free sessions with a psychiatrist under DHS benefits. Being in the situation you are in I do feel that a more regular visit to your doc will be beneficial especially considering your current situation. If its too expensive your GP can let you know which community centres/mental health who can help.

I do hope you find some peace soon Moogen but please try to make your therapy visits regular..this will build your confidence a great deal. Please let us know how you go! You are never alone here.

My Kind Thoughts for you. Thankyou for posting too!

Paul

[Neil_1]

Hi there Moogen,

And like Paul, I too would like to welcome you to Beyond Blue and for coming here and providing your post.

How long have you been on your medication? And do you feel that it’s working? If you’re in a bit of a low patch and it’s been a while since you’ve been on this particular medication, then getting back to your GP and having a review of your medication could be something to pursue? At the very least, as Paul said, you can possibly get a mental health check completed (nothing to strenuous there), just a series of about 10 questions that you need to answer, or tick the relevant box. Stemming from this you could get back to the psychologist who you saw before OR if you feel they didn’t do all that much for you, then perhaps your GP could suggest a different one?

You mentioned about being in debt – I’m guessing here, but does this mean you’re not working at this time? Or are you studying? I won’t ask too much more on this, but if you’re able to get back to us, it can help us devise some other kind of response in relation to this.

At this point we need to look for positives – you’ve said you’re feeling low and have anxiety as well. The driver’s licence – is it essential that you have it at this current time? If not, then put that on the back burner so you don’t have to be concerned by that.

Are you into sport, or physical activities (gym, running, swimming, etc), movies, music, cooking, any kinds of hobbies you enjoy? If you can see if you’re able to get back into something along those lines, that can help big time for how we feel, and can possibly get us out and about and mixing and meeting others, who have similar kinds of interests.

Will send this now, but would really love to hear from you again.

Neil