Is depression affecting my career??

[Tiffi]

Hi there. I have been diagnosed with depression since 2011. Depression runs in the family. My mum has it and my brother has it. I have been on anti-depressants since 2012.

My concern of lately has been my career. I have been a job hopper, with my longest ever job being at 2 years and that was a casual position which did not require me to be on the job regularly. I find myself feeling very down and out about work. I have worked full time but have never seem to find a full time job which I have stayed in for more than 5 months. I let my work overtake my life..... Those close to me have told me that they are sick of hearing about my work and the problems that I have there. I think to myself...how can some people stay so long in their jobs and I cant?

I have come to the conclusion that maybe I am not meant to be working full time. I should go back to part time or casual...30 hours a week would be enough. But even so...I think I have a problem with job hopping. I always feel that when I have a problem with a "somebody" it escalates and I end up leaving the job..."running away" rather than to be unhappy and face my problems.

I have also come into some realisation that maybe it is also my depression which has affected my career. I tend to opt for lowly skilled jobs, even though I am a uni graduate....This reason being that work stress gets to much for me and causes me to go into an episode of depression.

Has anyone had a similar experience in which their depression may have impacted their career/work??? How have you overcome this problem and where can I seek help? Please let me know.

[Neil_1]

Hi there Tiffi

Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you for providing your post.

I have no doubt that depression, does, can and will impact on a person’s working career … it impacts everywhere else, so as a matter of course, it’s unfortunately natural for it to affect the workplace as well. So with that being said, you said you’re on meds … the same ones for the past 5 years? Do you feel that they are mostly doing their job? I mean, in other parts of your life, are you doing as well as can be expected, kind of thing?

I’m assuming also, that you may have other mechanisms in place that help you to keep going on a day to day basis??

I’m also kind of interested in knowing whether these people who are close to you … apart from them being ‘sick of hearing’ about your work problems, etc … do they also know about your battle with depression?? I guess what I’m asking here, do you have anyone close to you that you’re able to talk to about your depression? Do you also see a psych … if so, then they may well be a great sounding board for the work questions you’ve raised.

I’m sorry, as it sounds like I’m firing a lot of questions back to you … it’s just that it will help, myself and others just to know that little more info, to be better informed of your situation.

I also think with regard to work … that if the job is stressful, this can really have a bad impact on one’s mental stability … I know that is the case for myself. Another thing to consider is also colleagues … as they can also impact; if you’re in an area where you get on well with the other workers, this can be a huge positive; and likewise, can unfortunately work the other way as well.

Just before I send this off, it is awesome to hear that you’ve been able to continue to pick up work along the way … which speaks volumes for yourself and how actually “very” employable you are. A great skill to have.

Kind regards

Neil

[Tiffi]

This would be a very very late response. But yes. I have finally regularly seen a psychologist since the start of 2018. I have been making progress and am now off my medications due to the fact that I m pregnant. I am 14 weeks pregnant 🙂 and I have been off my anti-depressants since mid September 2019. Amazing.

Though it was not pleasant (withdrawal symptoms) but I am still off it. I did have episodes of depression coming back, twice now, sigh. Psychologist did say that being pregnant (prenatal depression), having a history of depression has effect on this. However I am ready to tackle this on and have devised a plan to kick this "grey cloud of depression" in the face!!! It worked, for now...will it come back? Maybe. But I'm ready to challenge it.

The people who are close to me (my partner) the one who is sick of hearing about my work problems. They do know that I am battling with depression and anxiety. They have been supportive but I know that they are human too and they have told me that they get stressed at times hearing about my work problems and they are sick of it at times.

I have finally stayed in one job (not Full Time) for 1 year in 2018-2019.
I have started a new job in 2019 until now (not full time) now on 10months. Progress

I have come to the realisation that I have a "monkey brain" meaning I have a lot of internal chatter. I can't switch my mind off. When I wake up, my mind switches on and these thoughts/conversations to myself starts. Sometimes they are just harmless thoughts/talks. However. It is when anxiety comes to play and I cant stop thinking and thinking and overanalysing the situations, making it worse than it seems. I can't stop getting work thoughts out of my head. Especially when the work day is done and I want to unwind and turn my brain off from work. Ive tried and it is hard.

I'm doing meditation. It is hard, as these thoughts still pop up. However, I will still continue and keep at it.

Do you have any strategies for dealing with these ruminating thought?

Kind Regards

Tiffany Lee