I want to quit my job

[AimJJ]

I am overwhelmed with it all. My job, emotions and my life.

A bit of background on me and where I am at. I have been dealing with with anxiety my whole life and depression for 6ish years. I was struggling to get to school most of the time in my early teens so I finished early and am currently 17 and working casually.

I dont know if I can keep doing what I am doing. I work 3 full days a week, out of the house another 2 and it is overwhelming me. Over the past 6 years I have sat at home most of the time and done nothing so I am finding this sudden 'life' too much. I am getting really depressed, having panic attacks and melting down when I am not at work. I feel like everything is moving too fast and I can't handle it. I can't catch my breath and relax because tomorrow I have work and its just a continuous stress that brings me down.

My job isn't reliable either. It can be any 3 days at anytime of the week which means I can't get used to a routine or settle into a pattern. I am usually in bed by 9pm but I get shifts which are till 9:15 meaning I dont get into bed until 11 so I bet you can imagine how disruptive that is.

I can't talk to anyone in my life about it all because I don't have any friends and my family are all biased. My family have seen me sit at home for years and want me out of the house all the time. I am constantly getting told to get out more and do more things but what they dont understand is that I can't cope with what I am doing now.

My actual job is exhausting and stressful too. I work in fashion retail so I feel like everyone walks into the store and judges me. If I dont look 'fashionable' or 'pretty' enough than I am not worth their time. One day I went to work with less makeup on and got told by a bunch of people I looked tired, the only thing different I did that day is that I wore less concealer.

This is a bit of a rant but I would also like to hear your opinions and insight on this because I can't think straight and there is no-one to talk to. Thankyou.

[Star_Jasmine]

Hi

Welcome to the forums AimJJ, it's great that you've reached out here. Don't worry, I didn't think you were ranting 🙂 It's good just to let it out and helps make sense of your thoughts.

Sorry to hear you've had anxiety and depression for such a long time. If you don't mind me asking, have you sought professional help? If not, I think that would be the first priority. I know you said you're family is biased, but do they know about your anxiety and depression? Is there anyone in your family that you trust enough to talk about it?

A really good website to check out is Headspace. It's for young people and has lots of great info and options for support. There are Headspace Centres all over Australia too where you can get face to face support.

About your job - I understand what you mean about fashion retail. It's a busy, loud environment where you are standing all day and having to deal with people constantly. Not to mention the judgement from your coworkers. No wonder you are struggling!

You are 17 and have your whole working life ahead of you so maybe you could think about what you would like to do instead of working in retail? To be honest from your post, you sound like a really smart and capable person! Finish school? A traineeship, apprenticeship? A TAFE course? I'm sure Headspace could help out with careers counselling too if you wanted to talk to someone about it.

I hope some of this has helped you and I'm here to listen if you'd like to chat more.

You're not alone and you can get better! Don't forget mental illness is an illness like any other.

Hope to talk to you again soon

💮 Star Jasmine

[Nurse_Jenn]

Hi there AimJJ,

Wow - it sure sounds like you have been struggling to find the right balance for a while now but reaching out (even if you just need to rant) is a great step towards working on your wellbeing.

As far as quitting your job, only you can decide if this is the right step for you. I wonder how long you have been employed in this role? You have made one part of a 'pros and cons' list that I often to suggest people create when making big decisions. You have certainly listed some 'cons' such as being casual, not having a routine, feeling judged, getting to bed late and not connecting with people at work. However I might suggest that you also look at the 'pros' of work these could be things like having money coming in, getting out of the house, building up your resume, distracting yourself from symptoms? Sometimes writing down the list in front of you will help you to reflect on both the positive and the negative which can help you make your decision clearer.

As you would already know from your experience, when you have anxiety and depression, all the little things can build up creating a feeling of one big unmanageable feeling that can be hard to define. By listing out all the things your struggling with at your job you could potentially start to work on some of the things you can change or have influence over. For example, I don't know if you have spoken to your employer but is there a way you could request to have more secure days of work? Or potentially going to bed a little later everynight so that you are not constantly disrupted when you do have to work late?

Kicking some achievable goals may help you feel better able to tackle some of the bigger things like building up friendships, reducing panic symptoms or even finding someone you can talk to regularly such as a GP or counsellor. I wonder what has worked for you in the management of your symptoms in the past and if you could could tap into some of these strategies?

For the interim, please use the forum to rant and get those thoughts out there and I know other members will have stories and strategies to share that will help especially with your symptoms of anxiety and depression. And if writing these things out isn't enough, don't hesitate to call the beyondblue support service on 1300 22 4636

Wishing you the best possible outcome,

Nurse Jenn

[EthanH01]

I think that your depression and anxiety is a perfectly natural response to your circumstances. You've expressed no personal desire to work nor be out of the house, you feel compelled to because of your family's wanting you to get out of the house, and so whether you leave the house or you don't you find no real 'haven'. Sometimes our dissatisfaction with life is our authentic self letting us know that what we are doing is not the mode of being in the world that reflects our true values.

I think in these situations it's important to do exactly what you think is the best choice for your life. And I think an important question to ask to determine that is - will quitting your job allow you to see yourself in the best possible light out of all your available options? This is only something you can decide, and while your family can guide you they can't feel your existence in the same way you can.