I've tried everything and nothing works long term, i don't know what to do now????

[hopeless_amp_helpless]

Hi there,

I feel like

there is  no hope for me to treat my depression.

I've been on countless Anti-Depressants for the last few years but they only last for a few months & I have to go back to my Psychiatrist and increase the dosage or change to another type. 

This was not only emotionally draining but also financially as it costs around $250 each time I see my Psychiatrist. Thankfully my Mum helped me out on several occasions to pay the fees coz I can't afford it on my own.

This cycle was going on for a couple of years but I would continue to get

bad bouts of depression at least once a month. I suggested to my Psychiatrist that I might have Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) which is a condition where a woman has severe depression symptoms, irritability, and tension before menstruation so we tried medication for that also but again it didn't work.

I was also taking something to help me sleep which lasted about a year but then it stopped. I wouldn't sleep for days and I would be absolutely exhausted at work. I'd go through my day like a zombie.

I got so desperate, I resorted to over the counter sleeping pills to help me sleep but again, they didn't really work.

In May this year, I went to Peru to try an extreme form of alternative therapy. This was my last resort to get help and during the 2 weeks I was there and for about a month after, I felt amazing. I really felt like something had shifted in me and I was happy, energetic and enthusiastic about life again.

Now this feeling of elation has worn off and I am right back to where I was before,

feeling depressed, crying all the time, no motivation or energy to do anything and not wanting to socialise with people. I'm also not sleeping again.

I haven't been on any medication for just over 11 weeks but I don't want to go back on Anti-Depressants again & start that cycle all over again.

I've seen 3 Psychologists which was helpful at the time but as soon as my 10 sessions were over, it's like I forgot everything I had learned or something.

I know

I need help but I don't know what else to try?

I don't want it to get to the stage where

I am attempting suicide again, which I've tried three times, 2 earlier this year.

I have my Mum to talk to but she can't really offer any advice & I don't have any friends, I pushed them all away & I don't want to burden anyone. I just ended a friendship with my ex coz I don't want to put him through more crap

Please help I' m desperate....

[white knight]

Hi H&H,  welcome

I dont know if my account will help but it might.  I was initially diagnosed with Bipolar 1 and ADHD in 2003. For the following 6 years I tried a total of 15 tablets (for bipolar 1) and none worked.  Not surprising- I didnt have bipolar 1 !!!!!!

I was reassessed in 2009 by a psychiatrist with a second one in the room observing. That was good luck.  At the end of my session I was diagnosed with - bipolar 1, dysthymia (another form of depression), anxiety and depression.

I then received the correct medication which was a slow release mod stabiliser and a small amount of an AD. It worked wonders and in the 45 years since I've settled and had slight tweeking of these meds and my issues have reduced to the extent I can come on here regularly to help others.

Perhaps its time for a second opinion?  cyber hug

[White_Rose]

My Dear H&H

You are in a really awful place.  It is difficult to believe that you can get no relief from your depression. I can see why you are so desperate.  But it's good that you have come here to talk and I am sorry no one has replied to you earlier. This is not usually the case.

I'm not sure where to start. Although first of all I suggest a referral to another psychiatrist. I presume the $250 fee is after your Medicare rebate.  This is exorbitant. Most psychiatrists do not charge such a high gap fee. Look around for someone more reasonable.

What does your GP say about your depression. In my experience the GP often has a better grasp of the problem that the treating psych.

What was the treatment in Peru? Can it be found in Oz? Or perhaps something similar? High costs seem to be a factor in your life and the attendant worry is not good for you. Not that I am saying anything you don't know already.

I can relate to forgetting what the psychs say after such a short time with them.  The brain plays such mean tricks on us.  Again, to state the obvious, you need regular therapy from a psychologist for however long it takes. And I do not know how you can access this without paying for it. Perhaps other people can help out here. How often do you need to see a psych? If it were only once a month you could get annual health plans and keep going by paying for just a couple of sessions at the end of the year. However you may need to go more often.

Do any of the psychs write down their treatments or action plans or whatever. If you had a record of what you are supposed to do perhaps you could manage on your own until you can go back for another 10 sessions. And make sure you go back to the same psych. Do you think a combination of the above would be helpful?

I am not very good with sleeping tablets. The effect does wear off as you become accustomed to some of them and there is a risk of addiction. My doctor got me to try antihistamines. I can only take one quarter of a tablet otherwise I sleep all the day as well. The is may be an option to discuss with your doctor.

I know from my own experience that exercise is good for mental health as it releases endorphins into the body. Do you exercise much? According to my doctor, a twenty minute walk every day is enough. Meditation is also useful. I suspect you are going to say you have tried all of these things, but I have suggested them just in case you have not tried these activities.

Out of word allowance.

Regards

LING

[hopeless_amp_helpless]

Hi White Knight,

Thank you for your post and for sharing your story with me.

Were you initially diagnosed by a Psychiatrist?

That scares me that even THEY don't know what's wrong.

I know it's time for me to find a new Psychiatrist coz the one I see now doesn't seem to care about my welfare AT ALL....

I think he's more concerned with taking my money and seeing as many people as he can in a day rather than actually helping people.

He barely speaks during the 5 minutes I'm there & asks ME what medication I'm on and what dose......Shouldn't HE know that?

I also have to suggest to him what I think is wrong with me.  I had mentioned before to him on several occasions that I felt more depressed before my period but he never suggested anything, I looked up PDD myself.

I chose him because he was close to where I live in Sydney...

Maybe I need to research how to find the right psychiatrist for me....

I mean do people write reviews somewhere about their psychiatrist? How do I find a good one?

Someone told me that there are some Psychiatrists that are also Psychologists. I hope I can find one of those near to where I live...

I'm glad that after so many years, you were reassessed and have found what works for you, it gives me a little bit of hope that maybe I can get treatment that will work, I just need to find the right Psychiatrist to help me.

Thanks for your help WK

Regards,

Kylie

[hopeless_amp_helpless]

Hi Ling,

Thank you for your post, I appreciate all the time you spent replying to me.

At this point, I do believe it's time to look for a new Psychiatrist coz the one I'm seeing isn't very caring or understanding and not really that helpful.

I've heard that some Psychiatrists are also Psychologists so I think I will look for one that is both.

My GP basically just refers me back to my Psychiatrist & I guess she can't really prescribe as much as what a Psychiatrist can...

The treatment I received in Peru is legal there but it is illegal in Australia.  Even though I could probably get my hands on some of the medicine, I wouldn't take it without someone who is properly trained to watch over me.

I'm not sure if I kept any of the material my psychologists gave me coz I thought it wasn't really helping me anyway.

Thank you for the suggestions to exercise and meditation.

I don't exercise at all and I just don't have the motivation to go out, especially now that it's winter.

I have tried meditation before but I find I don't have the patience to be able to sit still for that long and to just let all my thoughts disappear.

I'm sure I have not tried everything but I have tried a LOT of different medication and I'm just not that hopeful that I will find that one medication that will help me for the rest of my life.

Thanks for 'listening' to me, it's good to be around people who can relate to what I'm going through.

Thank you~ Kylie

[hopeless_amp_helpless]

Hi again,

I think the people in this forum are the only ones who understand what I'm going through...

I just tried to have a conversation with my mum about how I've been feeling and she just doesn't get it, it's so frustrating...

She's telling me to just 'think positively' and she thinks everything will magically be ok....

I guess I'm on my own here....

[White_Rose]

I just had a bit of a chuckle with your last post. I got exactly the same comment from a 'friend' of mine. Focus on the positive was her mantra. Half the time I felt like smacking her for making depression appear trivial and for me being stupid. (Take a deep breath and count to ten.) Even my family don't get it, although they understand that it's horrible. Their reaction is to change the subject if I talk about it. Possibly to stop me 'brooding' about it.

I have replied to your other post about finding a new psych. I don't know if many psychiatrists are also psychologists so you may have a long search. Have a chat to your doctor about whether a psychiatrist or psychologist would be more helpful, generally speaking.

I agree with you that whoever you talk to should come across as caring and compassionate. They do not need to be all over you like a rash, but should demonstrate some empathy. How long is your consultation time? Anything less than hour is pretty useless I find as I need that time to settle down and tell all.

On meditation - I try to meditate regularly. Some times are better than others but I have never sat for 20 minutes without being distracted a number of times. Even the most accomplished meditator never achieves this. The idea is that you meditate once or twice a day regardless of how it works out. Just sitting and meditating, even though you need to restart again and again, eventually helps to bring you into more and more self-knowledge. The frequent comment is that every time you sit to meditate you are a beginner. And it's true.

Back to exercise. My motivation is less than desirable. I do not go for walks whatever the weather as it bores me stiff and basically I am lazy. So I go to my physiotherapy centre where I have joined an exercise class. It costs more than a walk but I do it because I can talk to others and have a giggle about life. The exercise physiologist knows me and has my program worked out. I get lots of encouragement and the exercise gets upped regularly.  I can't do it on my own.

I often wonder why I do not have more motivation to do things I know are good for me. Not just exercise. I need to lose weight and this is the biggest struggle, next to depression, that I have. My ex-husband used to tell me that all I had to do was stop eating. I think that's up there with focus on the positive.

Good luck with your change of psych. Let us know how it works out.

LING

[AGrace]

Hi H&H,

I can hear the desperation in your initial post and it doesn't seem like things have changed much since then.

I have to say that one thing I find common in the mental health sector is having to find out every scrap of information on your own. This in itself can be arduous and cause unwanted stress.

By talking with others at support groups, in the community, and here online I feel like I've gained so much knowledge. I have to admit my Psychiatrist is extremely helpful as well, but very expensive as you know. Ok, so I'll share some of the things I've discovered:

1. There are Psychiatrists who are willing to bulk bill. It might be worthwhile speaking to your Psychiatrist about your financial stress and seeing whether they would be happy to charge just the scheduled fee. Otherwise you can search on the net for others who are.

2. Access all the services at your local community mental health service. They offer a wide range of services for free. Counselling, group therapy, case workers, GPs, and dentistry (yep, you can even get shiny teeth when you have depression!!!) Group therapy can provide you with that same sense of understanding that you feel you get here.

3. If you are in crisis contact a Crisis Assessment Team (or research the equivalent in your area, this is what they're called in Victoria). Following their initial visit to your home, they are then required to make subsequent calls and visits, which can offer extra support when needed. You can also contact the triage nurse at your nearest public hospital when in crisis and they will advise a course of action.

4. The mental health plan which provides you with 10 free sessions to a Psychologist can be revised by your GP if they feel it's necessary, so communicate with your GP about getting some extra appointments.

5. Medication, you may decide it's not for you, however I'm always surprised that people are not told about alternate options when they are prescribed meds. It's good to find out the benefits, the side effects, similar options available, why your Dr has chosen a particular type, how long they take to have an affect, how often the type and dose should be reviewed. Also make sure your Psychiatrist is providing your notes to your GP, that way if all you need is a prescription you can get that from your GP rather than going to your Psychiatrist.

That's probably enough food for thought. I hope some of it is useful. No doubt the internet will become your best friend now:)

AGrace

[Mares73]

Hi H&H on the home page of this site is a list of Gps who specialize in treating depression. if you can find one near you I'd highly recommend you go. There is such a stigma around taking antidepressants & you need a review by someone who is familiar with the types of antidepressants you  have already tried. There are many different types of medication & once you find the right one for you things will gradually improve. I really believe a combination of medication & therapy is the way to go. Try not to be closed to options as there may be a medication that will really help you-they are evolving constantly. I also know it's really tough to get the motivation but there is hope for treatment & recovery. It sounds like you just haven't found the right support yet. Meanwhile there are so many people here who will relate to you or be willing to support you. It's great you found your way here. Try also remember that things can & do change no matter how low you feel & day or night there's this forum or phone counseling or we chat from 3pm to 12am.  Lve Mares xxx

[Snoman]

Hi H&H,

I have a friend who also went to Peru for a treatment that is legal there, that he could not legally get here.  His experience sounds similar: almost instant and profound improvement, but lasting about 3 months.

It seems that the treatment is being trialled for managing depression in Australia as well as other Western countries.  Have a search on the internet for the drug name and depression trials.  Hopefully we will see this becoming available as a legal option here in the not too distant future.

Snoman