I need to leave society

[ToLate]

Hi

I'm new here, so I guess hello to everyone.

I think it's time for me to live in the bush with a tent. I guess that it means becoming homeless

I have given up on people totally. I'm a 40 year old male and all my life has been pain and suffering. I suffered from mental, physical and emotional abuse from my parents, sexual abuse from a teenage girl, extreme bullying in school. I'm not talking about what kids talk about now. I'm talking about having zero friends, constantly teased by peers and even teachers. Having my school work shown to the whole class while teachers made me stand in front of the class.

I had issues at school with ADHD and Dyslexia.

I've had relationships but have always ended up being cheated on or the other person turned out to be horrible. Plus only have a couple of friends

I used to have a successful career, earning good money etc but the stress of the job and relationship at the time destroyed me. I haven't been working since 2010.

I've had to stay living with family which I feel deeply embarrassed and shamed about. So in the last few years I've practically removed myself from society except for the fish keeping community.

I met someone online about a couple of months ago. She is only in her mind 20's but we both seemed to connect very quickly and strongly (something that I seem to do easily). Until today where the whole age thing made her do the "let's be friends only" talk

I'm tired of humans, I've lost any and all empathy. I feel deeply that I would enjoy seeing all humans suffer. Now
I'm not about to hurt people but I sure as hell won't stop someone suffering even if I could.

I'm tired of everything, and it's not something any mental health expert or medication will help. It's like my spirit is dead.

I believe I need to live society, it's actually illegal to just live in the bush but I'm worried about being pushed any further. I think it's safer for everyone for me to do this.

Sorry for the long story but I needed to get it off my chest

[clown_of_mine]

Sorry to jump in unannounced but I have to tell you TL that I have seen the awful side effects that homelessness does to the human body and every day I am grateful for a roof over my head. We should never do anything rash when we are out off balance, cause everything changes and the hardest part is the wait. Best wishes

[Guest_4643]

Hey ToLate, welcome to the forums.

I'm really sorry to hear about everything you're going through and how you're feeling, and I wish I could help more.

I don't interact with anyone either, it's very hard where I live. I don't seem to have any social skills and a social life (or a life in general) because of this, so I know how you feel in terms of wanting to leave society.

Please keep yourself safe though, we all care here and we're all here for you. I'm sorry I can't help much, but I'll do my best to support you. I just wanted to reassure you that you're not alone in feeling like you have no hope and whatnot. I feel the same.

[BabySteps]

I feel DEPRESSED because for me I find the MODERN WORLD Is this way

*Being Genuine and Transparent Is Fading
*Being Traditional Is declining
*Being Loving Is Rare
*Being Healthy Is Rare ( With Mental Health, and Commonly Nutrition )
*Being Kind Is Strange to Modern Society
*Interaction Is Hopeful to go well and usually a Skill to tolerate
*Being Alive Is a Gift

* I find Society Is Selfish and Cynical and Withdrawn and Cold and mostly Mean and Subjective and Arrogant, Commonly - Vague and Doubtful

*I feel even If you have Friends It's not Genuine, even If you get along, when Times are challenging most Friends aren't of Help, or even the Right Shoulder beyond Bonding with Shared Interested Activity Is all Friendships are

*Without a Spouse, Beyond your Parent's, If you don't have Siblings, I Just feel your Heart will never be Whole, because, Without a Genuine Transparent Spouse, and Biological Relationships, It's Just a Lonely World, Way more than Miss Communication

*I don't have DIRECTION, Maybe Opportunity, I am Depressed for being Treated for *Schizophrenia, Psychoses In Remission when I don't even have It

*I don't Relate to Modern Men because their Either like Into Drinking and Casual Immorality and Tinder and their Mostly potentially Sexist and Misogynism * The Gym too that I don't feel I am either for ( I don't like my Millennial Generation, Because their Just more Self Comparison and Un Friendly and their Narcissistic and Less Warm and Tolerate for Being told against their Own Mind

* I Just find Most people are very Apprehensive from being Believing In the Minority or having a Problem with Non Conformist People and being Told about what others Believe or Know to be True