I'm suffering from depression and anxiety?

[carlie1177]

I think my anxiety and stress stems from emotional and verbal bullying. I took several tests online and am told I have depression / anxiety and possible paranoia. I also need therapy and counselling. That sucks. A few years ago I would've never thought I would be in this position, but I am.

To be honest, even though I've been hurt a lot this past year, I feel it's kinda my fault too. I don't have many friends, and can never find (and keep) a best friend. Last time I found love I left it for career (or new school, should I say). I'm starting to think this is all my fault, and it really really sucks.

Bottom line is, I'm lonely and I compensate my loneliness with imaginary scenes in my head, even though they'll never come true. Sometimes I compensate it with astrology readings, always searching for something positive, thus wasting incredible amounts of time. I need to stop. I wish my mind will shut down, like a Power Off button on the computer.

I'm a mess.

I'm a mess and I need help.

[mrkd1991]

Hi Carlie

Welcome to BB.

Mental health issues can quite often come out of no where, sadly destroying or atleast placing strain on relationships.

You've taken the first steps, questioning, acceptance, seeking help and advice. This can be very difficult, so well done.

I'm not 100% clear on where you are at, so if you have already done this I apologize. Otherwise, book an appointment with your GP. 

Have a chat to them about how you are feeling, they will help get you onto your path of recovery.

Also, remember that you are always welcome to talk to us here.

Perhaps you would feel more comfortable talking with us first, and thats perfectly ok too.

All the best, and good luck. 

[White_Rose]

Dear Carlie

Hello and welcome. Glad you have posted here and told us your story. This is a quick reply as I need to go out. Will write more later.

Bullying of any kind is disgusting. I think that emotional and verbal bullying are the worst kind because they leave no obvious marks. The bully, who is also a coward, enjoys gaining power over someone by constant denigration. I know, I've been there. Please do not blame yourself. No one asks for this kind of pain.

Finding and keeping friends is a life long journey. We change and our friends change. You are quite vulnerable at the moment and I imagine your fragility is showing. This frightens people off because they don't know what to do. It's easier to ignore the problem.

It's a great idea to have a chat with your GP as a starting point.

Cheers

Mary