I just simply want answers

[Jimbob1]

Here’s a little background about me I’m a 20 yr old man of English and NZ descent but anyways essentially things for me feel like hell. When I was younger I would get beaten by my uncle around the same time I was diagnosed with autism. I had a difficult time making friends especially with things I am interested in which I’ll touch more on later on. Throughout the high school years are when things got really bad, I would be ridiculed by everyone about just about anything, I had trouble making friends and getting with girls to the point that I thought they all hated me and that continued throughout my entire school life. Things settled a bit, I got a new car and the job itself is alright but the people I feel just plain hate me, they just make fun of me day in and day out and the friends I managed to make there aren’t even slightly interested in anything I like or even how my day is. I feel out of place in this world & am ready to take my losses and end it all if things continue like this but like the title says I just want to know why things are this cruel. Simply, just why??

I finally graduated and the friends I did have barely or never spoke to me ever again which really hurt and I started working soon after and felt like I turned a corner in life but not long after I would lose said job, the ONE girl I managed to convince to like me and I crashed my car which nearly killed me, which I wish it did by the way.

I eventually found a new job I’m still at now and then a year later of the same suffering like I felt in school the pandemic hits…. And i feel like I want to die even further than I already did.

[Sophie_M]

Dear Jimbob1,

We are sorry to hear that you feel so out of place in this world and that things feel like hell right now. It sounds like things have been really tough recently and even though we are unable to answer your question of 'why', we would still like to remind you that you are important and you have significant strength. It takes a lot of courage to reach out to our online community and we’re really glad that you have, so please know that you never have to go through this alone, and support is always here for you.

If you would like to talk to someone, the Beyond Blue Support Service is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals.

We also strongly urge that in overwhelming moments you get in touch with our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).

Please feel free to keep reaching out here whenever you feel up to it.

[Banksy92]

Hi Jimbob1,

I'm so sorry to hear you've been dealing with so much, from such a young age. Kids can be so cruel and it's awful to hear the way your friends and family have treated you.

Please know that you are valued, loved and supported. It takes strength to reach out, as Sophie mentioned, and we want to be here for you. You are not alone.

You mentioned you don't share the same interests as your friends - what types of interests do you have? Maybe there are other people you can connect with who like the same things as you.

It's great to hear you've managed to find more work and that you graduated, congratulations that's a huge achievement. But if the people you work with aren't respecting you, could you speak to a manager about setting boundaries? Everyone deserves to feel respected and equal at work.

Hope this helps

[Sophia16]

Hi,

You've gone through so much and I am truly sorry. It makes me really sad.

Please just remember that you are worth living here on this Earth. Forget all those people who say that you can always be happy. You can’t. That’s not the point of life anyway. Life is not easy. Life demands that you fall in love with it and then, one by one, it takes everything away. The only way to deal with this is to voluntarily take on suffering.

Seeing a psychologist can really help you with all the trauma you have experienced. They are trained to help you. otherwise, as Sophie said, there are helplines you can contact if you ever need to talk to someone on the phone.

Please stay safe and I am here to chat if you need me.