Dear Hope4betterdays
A warm welcome to the forum. Glad you came.
Putting our own needs last is such a common theme in many people. Sometimes because the person has chosen to do this, like you, and sometimes because the person has been told it's their duty or similar. Either way it's not good for us. I understand two siblings have passed away and that's sad. Please accept my condolences. I think you are saying you want everyone to be happy and you are the person who is going to do this. Am I correct? Please let me know.
Helpers are often told they do not need to do anything. In general people like to make their own decisions but with the support of family and friends. You sound weary and sad, probably in need of some TLC for yourself. We can provide the listening ear and talk about your life. You are the person who must do the work. Having said that I am going to make a suggestion to you. Would you see your GP and get a general physical check up. It's the easiest place to start. Ensuring your health is up to scratch you can look elsewhere for help. You can of course talk to your GP about your feelings, especially if the check up is fine. Make it a long appointment.
If you browse under The Facts at the top of the page you will see a K10 checklist. I suggest you complete this and take it with you to your GP. It's not a diagnostic tool, it's an indicator of how you feel. Read the fact sheets and download those you want to keep.
Dealing with everyone's problems is an enormous task. Please stop doing this. It is affecting you badly and is not received well. People must find their own solutions and live with the consequences. I worry that your "fixing the problem" could turn out badly and you will be blamed. We can talk about that later.
Please continue to post.
Mary
