I feel like I'm drowning in my own thoughts

[duckys]

There's this girl that I've liked for at least 2 years now and I've always wanted to ask her out but she's always got a boyfriend and I'm always really jealous of whoever her boyfriend is And I just really like her. Also my mum has a condition where her hands are either inflaming on the inside or rlly cold on the inside. It happens cos her autoimmune system attacks itself and I went to the doctors yesterday and they said I might have something similar. I don't want to live in pain all by myself because I want someone to help me. I need someone to help me but no one would want to help me, especially the girl I like, if I've got a condition that hurts me and makes me angry.

[Sophie_M]

Hi duckys,

We can hear this is a scary time for you. It’s really good that you found the forums and could share here. You've come to safe, non-judgmental space to talk things through and our community is here to offer as much support, advice and conversation as you need. We’re sure some of the lovely community members will find their way to your thread soon enough.

In the meantime, you could reach out to talk to Kids Helpline. They’re good to speak to about school, relationships, and about how things are going at home. They’re on 1800 55 1800, or you can reach them on webchat here. The Beyond Blue helpline is always here for you, too, on 1300 22 4636 or via webchat, here. Please reach out to them if you want a bit of help working through this news from the doctor and the other things on your mind.

Do you mind us asking if you have to do a lot of caring, or looking after your mum? If so, it might be worth chatting to Carers Australia about this, on 1800 422 737. They have counsellors available to talk about how caring for a family member can affect things like wellbeing, school and other relationships.

Thank you again for sharing here, and welcome to the forums. Posting here can be a valuable step on the journey to feeling better. Do feel free to share more here, whenever you feel comfortable to do so.

Kind regards,

Sophie M

[Croix]

Dear Duckys~

There are a couple of things I'd like to say to you, but before I do I suspect you are rather shy person when it comes to girls, as I was. This meant I, like you, would want to make contact but never did. Not while I was young anyway.

I'd think there is no way a glamorous popular person like her would give me the time of day -or worse still laugh. I still remember clearly the first girl I really liked from afar, it is one of those things.

The young lady you like has -if I understand you correctly - had more than one boyfriend in those two years. If that is the case she is probably still growing inside and finding herself. What she ends up wanting is anyone's guess.

It is very easy to think just about that one person, but I would suggest if you can you try to have more of a social life and meet others. You never know what will happen. I found somebody (after a couple of crushes I must admit) or they found me, not sure

It worked out despite my shyness.

I guess when you are given such a horrible message by your doctor it does make you fearful of the future and angry. Despite what you might think now I'm not sure that the anger would necessarily be a put-off.

I had a friend for many years who's body would go into rigid spasms once in a while, leaving him frustrated and angry. The thing was though he was angry at himself for not being able to do what he'd planned. He was in pain and stuck.

That anger was never turned on anyone else, so when I was right there and saw it happening and his mood react I simply felt sympathy, and frustration of my own I could not help. No way it stopped the friendship.

I think Sophie_M's suggestions, particularly the Kids Help Line are pretty good ones

Croix

[Succulent Queen]

Hi duckys, Im not sure what youre dealing with healthwise but there's sure to be others out there with the same condition. If you can make contact with them it might help to normalise not only the illness but the secondary feelings youre experiencing from having that illness such as reservedness or anger. In 2021 we're very lucky as we can probably find a chatroom specifically for this or anything else really although real life is always better imo. I think support groups are underrated and theres no better medicine than speaking to other people who are going through the same thing as you. I bet other people with your feelings/condition are experiencing hesitation around girls/guys too and this is just one thing you could talk about.

I found a chatroom for social anxiety/shyness a few years ago and it gave me a little community to hang out with for a while. I even made a friend in real life from that chatroom and we still catch up once a month or so. Nobody in my real life knew I was part of the chatroom as they didnt understand what I was going through in the first place so why would I tell them. Its just something you do for yourself and for your own health. It is nobody elses business. There are definitely girls out there that you will meet and date. Sometimes when we grow into adulthood we become very different people and the girls/guys we liked back in school become irelevant. We wonder what we were thinking. You ask why anyone would want to help you but if you can help yourself first by say joining a group - of any kind- you will find help slowly and subtely arrives in unexpected forms over stretches of time as you learn about yourself. It might arrive in the form of you youself becoming stronger and self assured enough to take on your challenges or embrace the love that will surely one day come into your life. Take care ducky and keep posting.

[geoff]

Hello Ducky, liking this girl is very admirable but also frustrating for you, so do you know why she is going out with these people, are they rich, talented or have a 'six pack' and if you can find out then you may have a chance to entice her.

With the condition your mother has and I'm very sorry she has to suffer from this and may have kept this a secret for a long time, and now you know or known for quite a while, but there may be a cure found in the not too long a future or even something to assist you with this condition that will help you, as I'm sure there will be scientists trying to find a cure and it may be found shortly, unfortunately, we will only know when it happens.

In the meantime try and find out what this girl likes and you might be surprised.

Best wishes.

Geoff.