i dont know what to do or how much more i can take

[gibby3794]

I had severe depression for years and moving back up with my family helped heaps i was starting to get happy, and all of a sudden i had a relapse for no reason that i can pin, and since then i have finally got my own place and moved out of home and i love living out of home, but its a lot more expensive than i first thought, the bills are quickly piling up, im hating work more than ever, i had to sell my car due to not having money for rego, and since i have been driving my friends car (who lives with us in a house of 6 low income people) we are all like family and i love them all to death, and the other day the gearbox went in my friends car so now we have no transport in a house of 6, so every day things like getting to work, doing groceries, putting pay in the bank etc is now really difficult as we live in a town without public transport... im just not sure how much more i can take, or if i can even keep fighting currently.... im sorry for the ramble i just needed to get it off my chest and my mind is very scattered at the moment so it might not make sense

[Cornstarch]

Hey Gibbby,

Its funny how we go looking for reasons when we fall down again. I guess it's kind of the logical, rational part of ourselves trying to make sense of feeling lousy. Looking back now I can see that I had my first major breakdown at 25. I wasn't hospitalised, but I hid at my sisters place and was off work for a month. It was a psycho female manager that unravelled some yucky, dormant memories in me that landed me on my butt.

That said, I have lost count of how many mates of mine have struggled with depression and yet have no cliched sad story to tell. They are just depressed. They say things to me like "well at least you have a damn good reason to struggle and a story to tell". My point is that despite our advances, there are so many unanswered questions in science. So many anomalies and so many confounding variables that make it shit hard to figure out this thing called mental illness. Throw on top of that hundreds of years of misunderstanding.

I totally know what it feels like to be desperate and hanging on by your finger nails. I was hospitalised for the first time this year. It felt shit. I was struck by how many young people were in there, but upon further reflection I thought Wow, it has come so far since I was little, finally it is being recognised as being legit.

Im so glad you have a soft place to fall with your family. But independence, freedom and adventure feels great doesn't it. You're not answerable to anyone when you move out.

You seem to have great support with family and friends but what about with trained professionals? Have you connected with a GP, clinical psych or psychiatrist? If you find a good one they can be a god send

[BballJ]

Hi Gibby3794,

Firstly, welcome to the forums, and well done for posting your story and getting it off your chest, it is a somewhat calming feeling when you sort of write it out, so I hope it has alleviated some of the pain you are in mentally.

I can see how tough it is getting in your writing, have you all sat down together and done a budget to see exactly where the 6 incomes are going when they come in? Hopefully you all are contributing fairly but the best way to find out and work it out is a budget. Unfortuntly that side of life is a big part of growing up and moving out, I moved out last year and have noticed the pinch as well so I totally understand where you are coming from.

These money troubles, are they triggering your depression or is just simply being out of home?

You can definitely keep fighting, really have to hang in there through these trying times to really appreciate the good times. Keep your head up. Always happy to chat if you need to get more stuff off your chest.

My best for you mate,

Jay

[OPninja]

Hey m8 this is my first ever post on a site like this but i think u should really talk with the other people in the house about whats happening mentally with you. I'm 100% sure they will be supportive with you and help you as much as they can. dont take anything to seriously hey. Life goes on brother ❤️

[gibby3794]

Thanks for the reply's guys 🙂

Yes i think we all start looking for a reason to validate the feelings we have.

most of us in the house actually do have depression anxiety and panick attacks, along with our physical health issues and no i dont have a gp or pshych or anything due to being low income with high bills and due to minimum wage cutting me off the PBS but i will be able to go now as i will be back on centrelink soon due to being fired yesterday... we havent actually worked out where all the incomes go as of yet or anything but we will have to as soon as i get my centrelink sorted (hopefully soon)..

Yes i do think the money problems are a trigger due to stressing about weather things can be paid before they get cut off or not.

Normally i go through stages where i want to conpletely give up but then i get a sudden urge to fight for what i want.

We actually do talk quite a bit about how were all feeling etc, we all have that one that we talk to about certain issues and we all listen to each others issues, weather they be within the house or issues outside the house,

yes at the moment especially with being fired and also having the only car in the house blow a gearbox i am actually just laughing about it all

Thanks again for the replys guys 🙂