I Dont Know If Im Depressed

[cantexplain]

Hi i actually cant beleive im here and writing a post on this forum ive never done it before. More recently im having so many ups and downs it driving me nuts i used to always think about death since i turned 21 im 36 now its always kinda been in the back of my mind never suicide though.

ive been married 3 years now and we had our first baby this year shes 10months old i love the both of them to bits but ever since shes been born its never been the same i work 6 days a week and last thing i want in the evenings is a screaming kid and a upset wife but im being selfish as my wife has to deal with all the crying all day 

all i think about now is having my old life back without the baby and maybe things would be different maybe this will change i dont know

but ive been just taking it out on my poor wife ignoring her and being grumpy on my time off work its not fair on her when she asks whats wrong just say

nothings wrong.

am i just not adjusting to this whole new lifestyle with our baby or am i looking for a excuse to say im depressed

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[guest150]

I just would like to say you have made the first step realising your unhappy. New babies can be hard and at times frustrating but they have a piece of you and a piece of your wife. What more could be said. You need to find some time to reconnect with your partner, maybe date night. 1 night you can get out or even just have dinner at home. You are not just looking for excuses we all feel like this. Even chat with your GP or a friend. Sometimes others have the same problems but have different ways to handle them. I hope you have a good day tomorrow. Chin up.

[geoff]

dear Cantexplain, welcome to the site and thanks for deciding to post.

You know that men do and can have PND themselves, it's not only restricted to females, because what it means is that we have to adjust to a new life, where the baby is now the dominant feature in the house now, it has to be fed, changed of clothes or nappies, burped and then a daily routine to try and set up.

The mum has to on duty 24/7 as it's now a full time job, and there are times when she needs help, either by another family member, their grand mum or the father, so it's never easy being a new mother or father.

When one of you and in this case you (because you haven't mentioned your wife) has PND the extra strain is put onto your wife.

My wife (ex) had PND and I was running an hotel with no great support so that I could not help look after the 2 children, maybe that was an excuse, but it affected me as well, and if it wasn't for my mother in law I'm not sure how we could have coped.

The point I would like to make and those mums who have had PND could probably answer this much better than me, but is PND the same as trying to adjust to the new life being a parent, I would think that they are the same, but please correct me if you think I am wrong.

I would suggest that you have a talk to your wife, and this won't be easy, and I'm in no way making any blame on anyone here, as it's a difficult few months, but she is looking after the baby 24/7, and what you need to do is go and see your GP.

I would also click 'resources' at the top of this page where you can order all the 'printed material' from BB, it's free, but it has so much material on all types of depression, including PND.

Hope this does help but I'm not sure, Geoff.