I don't want to do it anymore

[Cam_e]

Life takes so much effort and for what? We work and work and work until we die?! As a lower class from the slums, you really have no chance until you are hit with immense burnout, lack of any motivation and I can't even be bothered finishing what I want to say im that exhausted. Life is so hard. Im scared to not be here anymore, but I also cannot fathom existing like this any longer, just for it to all be for nothing anyways. Like, we can literally drop dead of a stroke or an aneurysm at any time... What is that bs?! I go to school for years, bust my ass working, just to potentially drop dead of something I have no control over?! What is the point?! Am I psycho or crazy in thinking how bullshit life is?! Like sure its great and all to live when things are going well, but when things are going shit... I just can't deal anymore.

Sorry its just how I feel and honestly don't know what to do or what the point is anymore. Im a useless, worthless human being. Waste of literal air and space.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Cam.e

Welcome to our forums and thank you for reaching out tonight. We know it can be tough to post for the first time. We can hear how hard things have been for you and that you are questioning things. It sounds like you are struggling with some distressing and heavy thoughts and feelings. We can also hear that you are exhausted and tired from working so much. We want you to know that you are not alone in this. You are in a safe, non-judgmental space where you can share what you are experiencing. And please know that even in the darkest places, there is always hope. We are concerned about your wellbeing and have reached out to you privately.

There is support available to you and we would recommend that you get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals.

We would strongly urge that in overwhelming moments you get in touch with our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).

Thanks again for reaching out here. Hopefully a few of our members will be by to welcome you over the next few days. We hope that you will keep us updated on how you're going here.

[geoff]

Hello Cam, can I join Sophie_M in welcoming you to the forums.

Well when you think of it, yes, we do work, then work to try and improve our lives, especially for our kids but there can be problems that arise during this process, some people are able to overcome them with minimal trouble, while those suffering from any type of depression, struggle with what lays ahead and are unable to sort through these problems, only because it's impossible to see any glimmer of light, the hope of any reprieve to eventually get better.

None of us knows when our time will come, we can't predict it and don't want to, we have to leave that to nature, and our family, friends wouldn't want to know either and because of what's happened in past family history doesn't mean it will happen to us, although I know what you're saying.

When we feel happy about life, there couldn't be anything more satisfying, having the ability to overcome any hurdles that try and stop this from happening, but when we can't find any solution then negative thoughts begin to develop, but this doesn't make anybody 'psycho or crazy', what it does mean is that a person needs help to work through these thoughts and eventually help them to be able to open the door and see the light.

This may not happen as quickly as expected, only because other points may arise that haven't been brought up before and there could be triggers that are caused by an incident you are not able to block away.

We need to be able to avoid these triggers, but perhaps they have to be discussed before you are able to overcome them.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[Burnt_out_mum]

Cam.e , hello and thank you for your post.
If it is ok I would like to point out first and foremost NO your not psyco or crazy. I too can definatly relate to what you have written. To the concept that we are born and raised to work hard in school, accomplish the best possible score and then fight through life for a career to then work for the next 50 year's, just to claim you have lived.
It is my opinion we are often overwhelmed with being fed this notion that you work hard in life and do it day after day after day, you will achieve greatness and life will be perfect and happy. Personally the reality is you work your butt off to give a portion of that to the government in tax and the rest to big billion dollar companies that charge you beyond reasonable prices just for the basic's in life. This leaves you feeling at the end of the day feeling well just as you are.
I am not sure if you have ever watched the movie Gatica, but I often find myself saying replace the concept of DNA for Money and that is the world we live in. The problem is the actual achievement of success is infinate. In that there will always be someone richer, smarter, more powerful, more sucessful, faster, better.
So I guess what I am trying to say is I 100% get how your feeling. That overwhelming you have at the moment, you are more than not alone. However you are not "Im a useless, worthless human being. Waste of literal air and space." You are someone who instead of sitting on your butt, got up, got an education, fought others to get your job and get up every day to do it because you have worth, values and deserve to be in the space and breath the air.
What you do need though is support, and to know your not alone. To know you have taken the first step to speak up and say something and that guess what someone is listening. I how hard that must of been. How hard it is to feel like you live ground hog day over and over and it's like your walking a dark tunnel you have no idea how far in you are or how far you have to go before you find light.

Have you set yourself any goals. I was asked this in the last 24 hours and I personally find myself going "ahhh cant think of a thing" So how about we help each other out? How about , if you would like to, share with me a goal, even just one that you can achieve, that breaks the mundane mind numbing mouse in the wheel feeling your having and I shall try and do the same?

Only if you want to of course, just trying to help

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Cam...

Welcome to our forums....

Cam..I can relate to what your saying as I’ve also voiced those words to my professionals....because I don’t know the purpose we have in life....but I continue to try and find it...

Working, eating, sleeping is no life for anyone.....We have to try and balance it out someway....give yourself some well deserved you time....if you say you have no time for yourself...then please drop one of your jobs and replace it with you....

A small sit in nature, to unwind and bring you back into the Now...How long has it been since you heard some birds singing, or you felt the sun on your skin..while your just sitting for you....or seen the clouds drifting across the sky...You’re probably thinking I’m being silly in my reply to you...It’s just that, like you when I was younger I worked and worked at my place of employment as well as came home and worked again by caring for my family..without taking time for me.....

I am of retired age..and don’t work anymore...but I truely wished that I took some time for myself during a busy working week...to just sit and dissolve myself into nature for even a few minutes a day...

It saddens me to hear you say that you feel a useless and unworthy human being Cam....because definitely you are not......everyone has worth, and everyone is useful.....Just by writing your thoughts and feeling down...without you even realising it you have and will continue to help many people who read these posts on the forums....You are a valuable part of these forums and your words are very much valued...

Please Dear Cam...Talk here when your feeling up to it...no pressure at all, but would really like you to keep up updated on how your feeling....

My kind thoughts with care dear Cam..

Grandy..

[amberlite]

I have this great book it's call Stop Thinking Start Living, a Dr Carlson wrote it and he did die suddenly on a plane.