I don't know what to title this..

[Gamal]

I've arrived recently to Australia. Came with an open mind and an open heart. Looking forward to the new life, and the dreams I wanted to achieve.

I've always been a man with massive ambition, I want to achieve in life.

I'm 39 y/o, no family, and no friends. And it seems this is having its toll on me; I spend long weeks not talking to anyone, and to make things worse, I'm an introvert, so for me to start a conversation is an alien concept to me. Loneliness is a monster, and I don't know how can I be so poor when it comes to social skills. I know how to keep a conversation going, but it's like there is nobody interested in talking to anybody -not just me-. And it's like I picked the wrong time to be in Australia, with the hostile atmosphere towards immigrants. If everyone didn't want us arriving here, why do you have a skilled migrant program then?

I started developing dark thoughts, I can't really describe what is going on, it's a mix of thoughts; Did I fail in life? Was I too old to come here -since everyone my age is already married and settled in life socially-, so they nobody welcomes anyone onboard anymore?

And to top it all, I'm without a job -I apply to tens of jobs within my field or closely-related fields- and I barely get a callback.

I keep telling myself to "keep pushing, not to give up, not yet", but I fear that my grip is becoming weaker. I had friends where I came from. I miss our laughs and time together. I wish I wasn't a person who blindly follows his ambition, I just wanted to make something awesome out of my life. I feel lost. I feel my dreams abandoned me.

I keep saying "It could be worse", or "Someone else in this world wishes he could swap his life with yours". But, who wants to live a life so silent, that the only conversations I have are the ones I have with myself..? I literally speak out loud to myself about whatever topics that jumps on my mind, and sometimes I stop talking, and wonder if this means I have officially lost my mind.

I looked around online for social meetings for people around my age, but they all look so happy and as if they own the world already. Plus it would cost to go out to where they normally go.

Was life meant to be like this..? And what is so unrealistic about me expecting the minimum social life a human is worthy of having..?

I'm sorry if this wasn't meant to be here, I have nowhere else to post, and literally nobody else to talk to.

[blondguy]

Hello Gamal

Welcome to you and thankyou for having the courage to post too!

I am half Scandinavian and half UK (not a good combination:-))

You have nothing to apologise for....I hope you can accept our welcome as part of the Beyond Blue Family

Im sorry that you feel we have a hostile attitude towards immigrants. The media may blow it out of proportion but the general population doesnt feel the same as some of our media does.

These forums are rock solid secure to ensure your privacy whether you are an Eskimo, Asian, African or even Australian..

we are here for you Gamal

my kindest thoughts

Paul

[MarkJT]

Gamal, welcome to the forums mate, great to have you here.

Let me tell you that from the perspective of a nearing middle aged white male, you are welcome into this country. As Paul has said above, the media blow it way out of proportion. The vast majority of Australian's are welcoming but the small minority get all the air time. It's ridiculous.

Your situation is not dissimilar to many others. Have you heard of the mens shed? A place where men go to meet up, have a chat and do things. www.mensshed.org - check it out.

Sport - are you into sport? All sporting clubs have social memberships and is a great way to meet people.

Where did you come from? There is probably a community of your origin somewhere around the area that you live. Can you meet with them?

You haven't failed in life mate, you have migrated to another country and that is pretty amazing thing to do. Takes a whole tonne of courage to do that and you did it. Respect.

With your dark thoughts, a lot of people label suicidal thoughts as dark thoughts. If this is what you are having, remember that thoughts are not facts. There are 10s of 1000s of people every day in Australia that have suicidal thoughts so you are not alone in that.

I would get along to a GP to discuss those thoughts and your general mental health.

Keep posting on the forums and here. Really keen to see how you are going and see if we all can't help a new person to our country settle in.

Mark.

[pipsy]

Hi Gamal. A huge welcome here. I can relate to your feelings of 'what am I doing here?' I've been here from N.Z, 30 years, it took nearly 6 months to acclimatize to the heat etc. Like you I had problems meeting, joining in etc. I went to the local employment agency (can't recall what it was called then). I was unable to apply for unemployment payments, we had to be here and living in permanent accommodation (we were in a caravan). My (now) ex managed to find employment on the local golf course. I did get a job (albeit) for one day, cleaning. Have you a drivers license, if you have, you may be able to get work driving a taxi. If you have a fairly good command of English (which I would imagine you do, your post indicates you speak well), if you can read maps (I can't), a taxi job would help you meet people and also you would socialize as taxi drivers have to know where to eat, the right places to visit etc. Also the supermarkets are always looking for casual workers for stocking shelves etc. Migrating to any country can be daunting, however, you have achieved that. Here's hoping your new life will be everything you desire. Keep posting here as long as you need. We're always here for you.

Lynda

[Janey123]

Hi Gamal,

Sorry you are having such a difficult time. I love the above suggestions of men's sheds and sporting groups.

Cut yourself some slack, you've done an extremely brave and difficult thing moving to a new country.

Hope you are feeling less alone today.

Janey