I don't know what to do about my mental health

[x_terminator2304]

I don't know what to do. I am currently undertaking the IB system in year 12. I go to boarding school in a different state from where I live, so I'm pretty isolated from family and out-of-school friends. In year 10 I started seeing a councillor for generalised anxiety, depression (Dysthymia and Cyclothymia) and OCD. I went on anti-depressants at the end of year 10 but have recently stopped taking it due to side effects. I have struggled with body image my whole life, and the weight gain because of anti-depressants despite doing exercise during the week has actually worsened my depression and struggling self-esteem. My school has recently introduced a new set of rules that requires us to both wake up early and hand our phones in for the entirety of each school day. As someone who also struggles with insomnia, the small amount of sleep I get each night makes me very emotional and exhausted during the day, and it's more difficult to manage now that my communication with my family has been cut off. The stress of year 12 work, combined with all other mental health factors and school situation, has caused my mental health to become the worst it's ever been, and I have multiple mental breakdowns over the course of each day. If I tell my parents they will put me back on anti-depressants, and if I tell anyone at school they will send me home and I don't want to sacrifice my year 12 marks. I also don't want to see a school councillor because missing classes every week will put me very behind in work. I know that year 12 is hard on everyone, but I am mentally struggling to get through each day. Does anyone have any solutions for how to make it all easier?

[Sophie_M]

Hi x_terminator2304, 
 
Thank you for sharing with us here. We can hear you’ve been through some really difficult stuff and are feeling really worried about a few things happening with you. We’re really glad you could come and share this here, it’s not an easy thing to do and we really admire you doing so. 
 
We’re reaching out to you privately to check you’re ok. In the meantime, we’d really encourage you to give us a call on the Beyond Blue Support Service on 1300 22 4636 to talk things through with the lovely counsellors there. A few more options are KidsHelpline on 1800 55 1800, Lifeline on 13 11 44, and Headspace on 1800 650 890. All of these options are also available through webchat, if you'd prefer:  

• Beyond Blue  
• Kids Helpline  
• Lifeline  
• Headspace (9am-1am AEST)  

Hopefully, you’ll hear from this lovely community soon. Maybe you could help them along by letting us know what kind of support you have at the moment, and if anyone around you is helpful or understanding with how you’re feeling? 
 
Kind regards,  
Sophie M 

[jaz28]

Hi there,

I am sorry you are going through this. I also undertook the IB system during high school so I understand how intense the workload can be, it is very easy to be stressed! Sophie_M provided some good resources, but is there a way to see if your counsellor could see you during a break or after school? It is important to get help when you are feeling like this, it is almost more important than your marks! If the anti-depressants made you feel worse, it might not be worth it but you should still seek a professional opinion about this (is there a doctor you could see?) I know IB is very competitive and you feel like you need to be on top of it, but finding a balance between school work and self-care is still important. 

I hope things improve soon,

Jaz xx