I am very sensitive to criticism

[jonny09]

Hello,

Whenever someone criticizes me(or makes fun of me), I think about it all the time.

After the event(where the person criticized me) gets over, i'll think about it the entire day and recreate the entire event in my mind and find a way to make a comeback. I wud be like, "next time this person says me this, i'll say him that".

And this thing just ruins my entire day.

I know i shud ignore it and move on. But i find it very difficult to ignore toxic people. Such things really consume my entire day.

How do i fix this problem?

I was thinking if i actively seek criticism(from people) instead of running away from it, maybe after nth time or 100th time, i'll get accustomed to it and it won't have any effect on me.Will this work? How shud i fix it?

[Ramblify]

I clicked on this thread because I thought, who isn't sensitive to criticism!? Some seem to be more sensitive than others, but I think they might just reveal their discomfort. Nobody likes to be criticised! Please reply if you're someone who thrives on criticism; I'd be very curious about why. As for the OP's ruminating thoughts - it might be good to talk to a theropist about this and work on stratagies to change your thinking patterns over time. I wish you luck on your personal growth journey!

[white knight]

Hi

The following thread has some relevant information about highly sensitive people

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/depression/highly-sensitive-people-(hsp)

Regards

TonyWK

[geoff]

Hello Ramblify and Jonny09, criticism only breeds depression and while some people thrive on doing this, they don't know how much harm they are creating, although it may be subtle, it doesn't take away what they are actually doing to that person and will stop that person from wanting to open up, in fear of being told off.

There can be subtle ways to talk to someone else but to criticise, not only once, but several times is off-putting and people have to learn how to do this appropriately, because if you receive an email, text or in a conversation being accused, it only pushes you away.

Topics can be discussed but certainly not repetitively, there are no points to be gained in doing this.

Geoff.

[Ramblify]

Hi Tony and Geoff,

WK, I read that article you put the link for. Ive read the book on highly sensitive people by Elaine N. Aron. I could totally relate to what she was saying in the book, however, I felt highly cynical about it being a 'thing' - ie; a diagnosable condition. Again I just thought pretty much everyone could relate to this book in some way.. maybe not everyone; but a large proportion of society? And what if you are a HSP - it didn't really seem to lead anywhere. So I didn't really find it that helpful.

In regards to what you have said Geoff, and going a bit deep here; there is a method of psychoanalysing ones inner thoughts and ways to makes sense of them - internal dialogue. Look up 'Internal Family Systems Model' and you will come across a deeper theory. There are a some books on it I bead that where quite good - Stone and Stone are the authors if I remember correctly. But basically we all have our 'inner critic' vioce/part of us and this is what the OP is tuning into in their thoughts - The problem the OP is having is that 1 they are ruminating on their thoughts - this leads to a downward spiral to depression (if theyre not already depressed - I believe ruminating thoughts is a symptom of depression?). 2 They don't seem to know where those critical thoughts are coming from.

Another helpful text and theory is John Bradshaw's book 'Homecoming' - it is about our 'inner-child'. I'm no expert, but from what Ive read, the 'inner-critic' is there (in our head and thoughts), because it is doing a job.. it's protecting the most vulnerable part of us - our 'inner child'.

And Geoff, yes, I get ticked off with people's critical comments. I think theyre toxic people; and are the type of people ai talked about in my other thread - the one's I dont have time for any more. 😉 Again, they lack any understanding of any of the above mentioned or anything of psychological depth - and have no intrest in growing themselves - they might, but theyre growing in a very different way and on very different paths from people who have had mental health issues and faced them. I believe such people are in denial, because the truth would break them.