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I am on antidepressant but it is coming back

TT
Community Member
I have been depressed for a long time but only started taking antidepressant 4 months ago. I remember it was dark and deep. Just like how most of us feel, exhausted and hopeless. I was suicidal. It felt like ending this life was the only way out. But I was lucky my bf fully supported me. My doctors put me on the medication and made sure I had all the support I needed. Things got better for a few weeks until I started losing weight and sleep. I started to get sick more frequently.  Then before I knew it, it comes back. I can feel myself sliding back into the deep darkness. I started withdrawing myself, crying and feeling guiltu. I dont know how to fight it because I am exhausted everyday. And I really don't want my bf to put up with me anymore.  It is not fair. I know a lot of us ask this question but when is it going to end? 
2 Replies 2

homer_thompson
Community Member

Hi TT,

That's a tough question. I sincerely hope it can improve for you dramatically and soon. What I do know is that you can become better, first at tolerating it, then handling it, then working on some real solutions. Your decision to post here is a great first move imo.. I think I speak for most regular posters here when I say I'm happy you did and I'm always ready to listen.

Try and be kind to yourself, be patient and you can beat this.

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

dear TT, I wish that you have joined this forum on much better circumstances, but that's not to be at the moment but we will try and help you.

When we start taking medication for depression, we sometimes have the reaction of feeling much better, but this could be only because it's psychosomatic, and I don't mean this in any harmful way, it's just that we feel as though the medication will help us, and it happens quite often, but then after a period of time we feel as though it's not doing it's job and we then fall back into depression, as it's not the magic drug.

This could be for several reasons, that the dosage is too low and if this is the case then you it would be a good idea to go back to your doctor, who may in turn increase the medication.

It's always difficult for someone who is close to you as your boyfriend is, who is put into a position where he doesn't know what to do so that he can help you, but please it's not your fault, nor does your boyfriend understand depression so it's also not his fault, because being new to this illness is something new to him, and all he wants to do is try and help you, but this can be very difficult for him, because what ever he does to help you maybe something that you just can't physically want to do, or have the strength nor desire to be able to do.

We know what depression has the capability of doing to us when we are in depression, so please go back to your doctor and ask him/her about organising the 10 free visits to a psych, which you are entitled for each year.

I hope that you can reply back to us. L Geoff. x